My doctor prescribed me 10 mg of lexapro, after just 3 days I had major side effects, panic attacks so bad that I thought I was going to need to go to the hospital.
...My doctor said maybe it would be best to try another one, so she put me on 25 mg of zoloft, the side effects were horrible, lost another 4 lbs in a week and on day 6 just before my dosage was going to be upped to 50 mg, I started having racing suicidal and homicidal thoughts, horrible thoughts that I never think of.
For most with anxiety the Lexapro dose was too high, 5mg would have been better, and given you subsequent experience with Zoloft, 2.5mg might have been the best start dose. The 25mg starting dose for Zoloft was better, but again, 12.5mg would probably have made the experience more comfortable for you. Taking the benzodiazepine (BZD) would have helped too.
The fact is that antidepressants will often make anxiety much worse in the first few weeks. The only way of limiting this is to start on a small dose and to ramp it up by the same small amount every 7-10 days until you get to the initial target dose.
If you want to give SSRIs another shot then I suggest Celexa (citalopram) would be your best option starting at 5mg/day and using the BZD to ease you through any rough spots. Celexa contains the same active chemical as Lexapro, but also contains a mostly inactive form of it too, so the dose is twice that of Lexapro.
However, if you can't bring yourself to try a SSRI again, then one of the older tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs) would be worth a shot. The usually produce fewer initial side-effects and have much smaller dose tablets relative to the therapeutic dose range which makes it much easier to start on very low doses. Most come in a 10mg splittable tablet, but their minimum effective dose is usually 75mg, so starting on half a 10mg tablet would be the equivalent of taking 0.7mg of Lexapro. You're unlikely to have any serious side-effect issues starting on such a small dose and ramping it up by the same amount. The TCAs have short half-lives so the dose can be increased every 4-5 days. BUT you need to be aware that these antidepressants produce more ongoing side-effects such like dry-mouth and constipation. The TCA least likely to do so is desipramine (Norpramin). Your psychiatrist may also be unwilling to prescribe a TCA because of your suicidal thoughts as TCAs are less safe than SSRIs in overdose.