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Author Topic: Hey Everyone, losing hope  (Read 141 times)

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Offline kittykat22

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Hey Everyone, losing hope
« on: August 28, 2014, 07:16:54 PM »
Hey Everyone,
My name is Kait, I am 22 years old and have suffered from anxiety/depression for the past 10 years. I have been in many abusive relationships which has taken a toll on my self esteem also. I always just thought this is what I deserve, I will never find anyone better. Until recently, I am now in a normal relationship which is very nice but I am so afraid of losing my significant other because of my anxiety. I feel like it is ruining my life. I am constantly on edge, feeling like a panic attack is going to come on at all times. I have always been able to manage it on my own without meds until just this past month. It has gotten so out of control that I had to actually take medical leave from my job, thankfully my job is very understanding with this condition. My anxiety is at an all time high,  I get multiple attacks a day, and not only is it the anxiety attacks that are unmanageable but it is the obsessive thoughts I am having which is causing the attacks, this is a slightly new symptom to my anxiety. Its really starting to scare me, to the point where I think my thoughts are going to come true. I will have thoughts about bad things that I want to happen to me... but i dont REALLY want them to happen.. these thoughts just come into my head out of nowhere.. and then comes the anxiety. It's like an endless cycle. I just want them to go away, I have tried medication before and have had such bad experiences with them that I am afraid to go on another med, so I just am using my clonezapam as needed when i get an attack, which seems to be every day. I am also seeing a therapist but I feel like I need to get on an antidepressant to control the intrusive thoughts. Basically I joined this board because I don't want to feel alone and hearing that I am not the only one going through this would be really helpful. Thanks guys! :dazed:
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we all carry these things inside that no one else can see, they hold us down like anchors, they drown us out at sea.

Offline A_Rio_freak

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Re: Hey Everyone, losing hope
« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2014, 11:01:32 PM »
Hi Kate, I'm new here too. I'm 26 yr old guy, by the way.

I can relate to some of the problems you're feeling. I used to have multiple panic attacks everyday. I didn't take meds or see any therapist because my family believed they were all fake professionals trying to rip our money from us for nothing.

But when I decided to go see a psychiatrist and take meds, about 6 years ago, I can say the medication alone cured my panic attacks. I did not believe it until it happened. I've been free of panic attacks ever since.

You said you had bad experiences with meds, can you tell me more about it? There was a year during my treatment in which I was taking too many meds and they were not working properly and I was suffering a lot. I think it had to do more with my depression than my anxiety. But after seeing a different doctor I changed meds and was eventually feeling netter again.

My point is that you may not want to give up on meds just because of past experiences. You should be able to do better with a good doctor, and past experiences might actually help in dealing with problems. The bad part is that you might feel like you only work under effect of drugs. This sucks, but it's better than panic attacks.
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Hey Everyone, losing hope
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2014, 05:18:45 AM »
Welcome to the forum. Good to have you as a member. Here you are with like minded people. People who understand. As we all suffer from something or other. So feel free to ask any questions. Our members are always willing to help others out. Good chatroom too. 3 posts to enter the room.

Find the correct section of the forum that suits your condition and create a new topic on it. This is just a welcome section. Never really get the same amount of help in this section as you would on the other sections of the forums. So whatever one suits the questions you are asking. Get much better answers.
All users of the chatroom must be 18 years old or over. The room is off limits to anybody under the age of 18.
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Offline kittykat22

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Re: Hey Everyone, losing hope
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2014, 10:30:19 PM »
Hi there nice to meet you,
I am really glad to hear that you havent had any panic attacks since! That is great  :bigsmile: I have never wanted to go on meds but its to the point where they are out of control.  . My doctor prescribed me 10 mg of lexapro, after just 3 days I had major side effects, panic attacks so bad that I thought I was going to need to go to the hospital. Also made me lose 2 lbs (I am already very skinny, was 95 lbs at that time and went down to 93). My doctor said maybe it would be best to try another one, so she put me on 25 mg of zoloft, the side effects were horrible, lost another 4 lbs in a week and on day 6 just before my dosage was going to be upped to 50 mg, I started having racing suicidal and homicidal thoughts, horrible thoughts that I never think of. I called my doctor right away and she told me go to a hospital for a psych eval. I was cleared and they said it was a reaction from the zoloft. My psych told me to stop the zoloft immediately and the thoughts should go away in 72 hours at max. It was a horrible experience, and now I am afraid to take another anti depressant. My doctor said maybe SSRIs just dont agree with me but what else is there?
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we all carry these things inside that no one else can see, they hold us down like anchors, they drown us out at sea.

Tags: anxiety OCD scared 
 

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