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Author Topic: I broke myself  (Read 119 times)

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Offline Raaawr

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I broke myself
« on: August 28, 2014, 04:26:26 PM »
Do lately my anxiety has been really low. Shockingly low. Except for the odd "nocturnal panic attack" I've been my old self most days.

However, today I was reading an article about a goalkeeper who is now retiring from a heart condition. The article named the condition as a 3 letter abbreviation that I can no longer recall. I didn't understand it so I googled it. Bad move. In one swift silly decision I brought back many feeling of a anxieties and worries about my own heart. Chest pains and my breathing felt weird. I'm still anxious about it even though I know it's only because I googled it.

Anyway just now I was infront of computer on google lookin up something and I noticed if I looked at my monitor a certain way and blinked I could see this blue spot for a second after I opened my eyes after blinking. Immediately I opened up google and began typing it in. I stopped myself before I searched it but now obviously I am worried and anxious about it.

So annoyed that I broke my resistance to google purely by accident and now I am back where I was 2 weeks ago.  So now I am standing in front of a white wall trying to recreate the effect but of course I can't
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Since July 23rd 2014 I have had;
Brain Tumor, 5x Heart Attacks, 2x Blood clots in leg, 1 blood clot in Arm, 2x Appendicitis, Pulmonary Embolism, Brain Tumor, Internal Bleeding, Ebola.

Offline Hunniedeww24

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Re: I broke myself
« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2014, 06:12:54 PM »
I do it to...
HA is devastating.
Hang in there. .
Two steps forward, three steps back...
You'll be good again!♡
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~The one big bummer about reality is.....there's no awesome background music~

Offline mollyfin

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Re: I broke myself
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2014, 12:15:25 AM »
Been there, done that.  Sorry to hear about it, but you can move on from it!  Don't be too hard on yourself. 
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Online Chloe1990

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Re: I broke myself
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2014, 02:34:55 AM »
I get odd things like that in my vision sometimes. It's frustrating though when you try to google. Well done for stopping before you hit the search bar though
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