I'm so tired of this beast, I just can't take it anymore... everyday is a new way, a new symptom, a new reason to suffer in fear. Last night I woke up and my throat was burning, stomach hurt, nausea. I got up and then vomited... As I was vomiting I started to cough, and I coughed up a lot of mucus, some of it with blood. My throat is very tight today, and I'm having some trouble swallowing. I'm very scared, anyone ever experience that before?
Also, yesterday my mother nominated me for the ice bucket challenge after begging her not to. She thought it would be "good fun" and I just need to relax. I've been having recurring panic attacks since and I just feel like I'm coming unhinged. Any work I've done to convince myself I don't have *** is up in the air and I'm starting to focus on it again. I'm so lost, I'm so tired of feeling sick, I'm tired of being pushed back down the hill by a family who thinks I'm just being silly, I'm tired.