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Author Topic: Possible Cyst?  (Read 221 times)

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Offline kvndl2

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Possible Cyst?
« on: August 24, 2014, 11:25:26 PM »
So a little while ago I posted this
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93560.msg522255.html

And that bump is still there, it hasn't gotten any bigger or smaller
and as I said it's not rock hard but it's not soft either.

And I'm beginning to think that it might be a cyst forming?

Of course I was thinking tumor (it's on the right side and when I look in the mirror my right pupil gets a little bit bigger than my left????) so I'm like thinking that it's doing that because that bump is there (tumor or cyst).

I honestly don't know if there is a benign reason as to why that pupil would be larger. It's only when I get closer to the mirror, not when I'm further away from it?? So I don't know.

I have a doc appointment on the 4th but honestly I feel like I can't handle another day of not knowing if there's something wrong with me or not.

I'm trying not to freak out because I'm so tired of all the constant anxiety I've been having.

I've been having headaches on the left side of my head and the feeling of numbness on both sides of my face (not at the same time it's either one or the other) I also get it in my hands.

The bump thing doesn't really hurt to press on it and it's not exactly solid in it's position either.
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Offline kvndl2

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Re: Possible Cyst?
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2014, 12:34:50 AM »
I also keep smelling random like metallic-y smells. It's not constant just sometimes.
I don't know if those things go together but yeah.
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Offline kvndl2

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Re: Possible Cyst?
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2014, 09:59:17 AM »
Anyone?
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Offline mollyfin

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Re: Possible Cyst?
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2014, 10:20:09 AM »
The pupil changing only happening at a certain distance from the mirror makes me wonder if you have a weakened eye muscle on that side or something that can't see as well from a certain distance, hence compensating.  I'm not an eye doctor or medical expert, just a guess. 

The bump thing sounds like a cyst, yes.  Has your doctor given an opinion on any of these concerns?
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Offline kvndl2

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Re: Possible Cyst?
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2014, 10:23:48 AM »
Yeah when I went to the eye doctor a few months back he said one eye was weaker than the other but didn't say which. So that could be the issue?? I don't know.

And I haven't seen my doctor since these issues arised so I have to wait until the 4th until I can ask about it but it's driving me up a wall that I don't know.

I'm really afraid that it's a tumor.

I want to go up to the hospital but my mom won't let me.
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Offline mollyfin

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Re: Possible Cyst?
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2014, 10:34:38 AM »
Your eye doctor would've seen signs of a  tumor during your eye exam.   
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Offline sixpack

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Re: Possible Cyst?
« Reply #6 on: August 25, 2014, 10:36:27 AM »
I love your mom.  I just have to throw that out there.


If you want to feel better, quit looking for 'abnormalities'.   You've told me that you are trying to get better.  Honey, I am just not seeing it.   :winking0008:   You are doing all the reactive stuff.  reactive stuff = increased anxiety. 

Your tasks today, if you dare to do it:

1.  take two walks around the block.  listen to the birds, stop and smell some flowers.  or listen to your music.

TWO times.  I don't want to hear, "I can't", btw

2.  choose an activity--- puzzle, bake, see a movie....

3.  log out of az, walk away from the computer.

4.  tell your brilliant mom  :happy0151:  sixpack gave you work to do.  tell her I want her to hold you to it.  she and I are going to make you, take care of yourself, whether you like it or not.  after a while you will do it all on your own because you will start to see that it works.


tomorrow, some new tasks will be added.  none of which will be logging on here to ask for reassurance.  you *may* log on, if you are here to to tell us the success you had doing your tasks.   at no time are you allowed to poke or prod yourself.  at no time are you allowed google crap.  at no time are you allowed to what if...



If you keep your mind occupied with decent things, over time your mind and body will be *allowed* to relax.  at which time symptoms will diminish and you will start feeling better.  from there you start working on the stress or issues that got you thinking and feeling the way you are feeling.

btw-- over time doesn't mean an hour or two or a week.  I am talking about several weeks to months of continued "good stuff"      I am not saying this will be a walk in the park--easy peasy.  you are going to have your beasty yammering at you.  however persevere and you will come out on top.  if you don't you will flop. 
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline sixpack

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Re: Possible Cyst?
« Reply #7 on: August 25, 2014, 10:38:31 AM »
Quote
however persevere and you will come out on top.  if you don't you will flop.   


little known factoid here on az,  sixpack makes stupid rhymes and sings obnoxiously stupid made up songs.  I got it from my mom and I have passed it on to my kids.
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline kvndl2

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Re: Possible Cyst?
« Reply #8 on: August 25, 2014, 11:02:19 AM »
My mom said she loves you too. (Mind you, she was tearing up as well)

And that we are going to do it.
She's glad she has someone to help her convince me instead of me just freaking out some more and wanting to believe but still doubting because of my stupid beasty.

And I won't get on here unless it's to post about my success or get on to read tasks that I need to do.

Woo this is going to be difficult but I can do it.
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Offline sixpack

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Re: Possible Cyst?
« Reply #9 on: August 25, 2014, 11:07:07 AM »
I am pulling for you.    Just think how proud of yourself you will be when you come on here telling your success    :yes:   and maybe peeps here will be able to follow your example.


be careful I may get you up to walking 4+ miles a morning like me  :P


okay I am off to take two of my kids out to lunch. 


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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline kvndl2

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Re: Possible Cyst?
« Reply #10 on: August 25, 2014, 11:11:13 AM »
Thank you so much. I will strive for that.

And I'd also be ok with 4 miles. Used to run that much in the morning when I was in High school. (Wayyyy too out of shape to do it now but you know)

Enjoy the lunch with your kids and the rest of your day. :)
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Online fishmanpa

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Re: Possible Cyst?
« Reply #11 on: August 25, 2014, 12:02:37 PM »
Thank you so much. I will strive for that.

And I'd also be ok with 4 miles. Used to run that much in the morning when I was in High school. (Wayyyy too out of shape to do it now but you know)

Enjoy the lunch with your kids and the rest of your day. :)

You last post was almost an hour ago (11:11) and you're still logged in (12:02).... time to log off and go for that walk... or I'll tell six pack on ya ;)

Positive thoughts
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"Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings in your life. Live. Love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest doesn't matter!."  King Solomon.

Offline kvndl2

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Re: Possible Cyst?
« Reply #12 on: August 26, 2014, 11:32:12 AM »
I had been off of it since I was logged on with my phone lol so I didn't even think to like literally log off I just closed out of it on my phone. Woops but when I got the email notification for this reply I looked and I was like 'oh oopsies' so I logged out.

update:

my day was ok -- the night was better than the morning.
but I watched two movies and went for two walks and
visited some relatives. Did some dancing around with
my mom.

this morning, woke up with anxiety yet again
still concerned about my head and right eye which
seems to be 'lazier' and hazier vision wise than
my other one. (keep feeling like my peripheral vision is blurrier)

kept getting that cold crawly feeling on the top
of my head, but I took a larger dose of ativan that
seemed to kinda make it better.

my mom got on to me whenever I would do anxiety
habits (i.e. poking and prodding)

but like I said the evening went smoother once
I took some ativan. I also wrote a little short story
(by hand) about HA and anxiety in general.
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Offline sixpack

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Re: Possible Cyst?
« Reply #13 on: August 26, 2014, 12:14:12 PM »
those are good things   ;D

remember doing good things will take a while to make headway   :yes:   It will take even longer if a person does some of the naughty things.  so no naughty stuff.  each day you engage in the good stuff brings you a bit closer to feeling better.   Know that, at first, your symptoms will likely be fierce.  Please persevere.  the goal is to get better. 

1.  everyday you should walk.  keep up 2x a day then add more when you are feeling confident.    :winking0008:

2.  movies are fun.  I took two of my kids 11 and 16 to the regal cinemas $1 movie summer express this moring.  it was cute.   So, if movies are your thing, keep doing them.

3.  I like that you enjoy writing.  That is a great hobby that could turn into something lucrative.  I have a friend whose husband is a pathologist.  He likes to write creepy/horror/twisty short stories.  He had enough stories to make a book.  He got it self-published on amazon   :happy0151:   I downloaded it to my ipad.  he had some good stories.  So even pathologists have some hobbies to unwind.

4.  still no prodding/poking/monitoring your body.  yes, i know it is difficult.  but the more you refrain, the easier it is for your mind to calm down.

5.  what other activities do you enjoy?  Perhaps you can add those to your list of 'meaningful distraction'?    There are many craft stores that have classes for jewelry making or knitting or  ____ that are a pretty nominal cost.

6.  a beautiful thing to do is giving back to your community.  When I lived in Louisiana, I volunteered a good bit of time to social concerns at my church.  Living here I volunteer my time with a dog rescue.   At this point perhaps write down some service oriented things you find interesting.  After you've gotten your feet wet in engaging in life a bit more, call around to organizations.  these places are always looking for volunteers.  there is something incredibly rewarding  when you give of yourself.

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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline kvndl2

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Re: Possible Cyst?
« Reply #14 on: August 26, 2014, 12:28:09 PM »
I noticed that my symptoms were far more persistent yesterday when I was trying to ignore them and have a good day.
I cried a few times and felt depressed that I wasn't going to ever get better but my mom would just hug me and tell me that
everything is going to be ok and that we'll get through it.

I will definitely keep walking and watching movies.
I love to write! It's something I want to do with my life, be an author.

Not poking and prodding is rather difficult but I will strive today to not do it at all--I'll just...sit on my hands when I feel like poking and prodding.

I want to volunteer at our local animal shelter but I don't think they need any assistance. However I suppose it doesn't hurt to ask.
I'm actually crocheting a blanket, but sometimes that doesn't distract my mind enough. :(

I will definitely do some looking around since as I've said before I need a job  (I'm 21 btw)
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