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Author Topic: So my weekend was actually pretty good!  (Read 70 times)

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Offline Raaawr

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So my weekend was actually pretty good!
« on: August 24, 2014, 08:14:57 PM »
Hi guys, I haven't been on here for a few days because I was sort of doing an experiment over the last few days. I have been trying to pretend and ultimately forget about my health worries and see if my anxiety would stop.

Friday I got Chinese food, spicy Chinese food. I am not sure why I decided to get it but I guess I decided that if I really had Acid Reflux and other stomach problems that my Doctor has said I have. This Chinese would cause me problems. So I ordered it. It was good, I enjoyed it and I had no issues what so ever. Friday was a success.

Saturday then I went across the country for a 3 hour drive to visit a friend. We drank a fair bit, 4 bottles and 5 pints was what I consumed over a 7 hour period ended the night with a pizza. Again, if I had Acid Reflux or other apparent digestive problems surely I would have felt something right? So I slept fine Saturday night. Had no pains and no worries of my own imminent death.

Sunday, woke up, felt fine. We all went out for a 4 hour golf round. Came back, had some cake and other junk food and then went on another 3 hour car journey home. Still no anxiety all weekend! Nothing. No pains, no sickness, no headaches absolutely nothing! Incredible! I had a normal weekend where I felt like myself again.

So why am I on here? Well, when I got home and everything quietened down and I had time to think and be on my own I started to feel sick. First was nausea and then came the old familiar sensation of being unable to breath and that I was going to die of asphyxiation. My Doctor told me that a key to beating your anxiety is finding its trigger, what causes it. While I might argue that its being alone that causes it I dont think it is because I can be alone at other times and feel absolutely fine. I think however, my friend started to feel unwell when I was chatting to him on ***** and concepts of his death by various horrific illnesses flashed through my head which has since triggered my anxiety. So I guess I am on here for 2 reasons. The first being I am pretty happy that I was capable of having a weekend where I felt normal and pretty much anxiety free. The second being that even after my weekend and all the hours of complete anxiety freedom, I have once again been struck with feelings of it.

I am absolutely astounded that all my anxiety feelings can come back so quickly and so easily. Even now I am lying in bed an I feel nothing like the same person of the last 2 nights. I feel different and broken and sick to my stomach.
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Since July 23rd 2014 I have had;
Brain Tumor, 5x Heart Attacks, 2x Blood clots in leg, 1 blood clot in Arm, 2x Appendicitis, Pulmonary Embolism, Brain Tumor, Internal Bleeding, Ebola.

Offline Raaawr

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Re: So my weekend was actually pretty good!
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2014, 08:46:44 PM »
Argh!!!!! Then for all my talk I had a panic attack. Dunno why I was looking up therapists and suddenly I was in a panic with my heart racing. I wanted to wake someone up to call for help but I managed to stop myself before I did that. Damnit! I hate this. I won't sleep now tonight
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Since July 23rd 2014 I have had;
Brain Tumor, 5x Heart Attacks, 2x Blood clots in leg, 1 blood clot in Arm, 2x Appendicitis, Pulmonary Embolism, Brain Tumor, Internal Bleeding, Ebola.

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