So, make of this what you want, but long story short (and you guys know it´s a loooong story); I´m done with this.
I keep telling myself that it will get better with time, that I just need to get in touch with a therapist etc etc. Thing is, for each day (I mean that in the very most literall sense) I´ve gotten more symptoms and it just piles up. It´s relentless, and if it´s just anxiety then it´s the most progressive kind there is.
I´m literally struggling, yes physically struggling, to even write this. My hands cramp up and my whole body aches, I´m in so much pain that it can´t just be anxiety. I mean, how on earth could anxiety be this crippling?!
I can´t even figure what I want to say with this post. I don´t know who I am anymore, and I know it sounds sooo melodramatic to say that.
What I guess I wanted to say with this post, as paradoxal as it may seem, is thank you. I know I come off as the most egotistical yerk, but I really really apreciate all the help I´ve gotten from you guys. You´ve seen me at my worst, and in a sense it saddens me that you haven´t gotten to see me at my best. I´m actually a pretty laid-back kind of guy who usually are able to make people laugh. But, I think that is a side of me I´ll never get to see again.
You guys see, I can´t even manage to get to the point w/o getting lost. I´m sorry for the rambling, what I wanted to say was simply; THANK YOU! thank you for taking the time to answer all my posts, and thank you for supporting me when I´ve been down=)