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Author Topic: Anxiety and Symptoms are fully back :(  (Read 190 times)

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Offline braves0042

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Anxiety and Symptoms are fully back :(
« on: August 23, 2014, 10:43:08 PM »
Well I was doing decent this month of August, not great, but just decent to where I could control my symptoms and anxiety well enough to not freak out. Everything was going ok but not that great but I did not feel horrible all the time like I did in May, June, and July. Now as if today I have had high anxiety all day and depersonalization along with just plain not feeling right at all and like something is really wrong. I still have my Lyme disease worries but I was able to handle it for the most part, I am going to take doxy for a month starting Monday just to be safe. Heck my symptoms were occasionally as opposed to all day everyday, I was even able to do yard work yesterday with no problem at all and had some beers after and felt like the old me a little bit yesterday. Now i wake up today with a hangover, the first few hours weren't bad but as soon as I at some unhealthy food all of a sudden the thought of swallowing was weird to me and it didn't feel right and all of a sudden, BOOM I am feeling malaise and dp/dr again all of a sudden. I have been fearing als as of late too with all these ice bucket challenges going around, as well as the state of my health in general, will always have lyme worries but I am hoping to experiment with treatment at a low level ( no crazy high dose like llmds do) just to see if I feel a bit better. I fear sudden throwing up now or just dying young, it has been one terrible day for me, I feel like my mono is back but I am hoping that is not the case and that I wake up decent tomorrow but I can only pray at this point. I had a good amount of tests from June to July, and although not perfect, doctors did not see anything alarming I guess, so I am trying to remind myself of that, it's just so scary and makes me nervous when I feel like I'm deteriorating at 26 years old. I just had to vent cause august was better than the previous months and I was able to get through it without medication and I felt like I was making progress until today, I feel so defeated and scared that I'll either be like this forever, or I will die young. Maybe it was just a bad day but I am hoping that's all it is and that tomorrow will be better. I apologize everyone I just needed to vent, u hope everyone is doing well on here also.
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Offline phony90

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Re: Anxiety and Symptoms are fully back :(
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2014, 07:34:52 PM »
You can work, you can do everything a normal person can do, yet you believe you have degenerating diseases? Wake up man! You have anxiety!  :yes:
I understand it is hard to believe you are fine, when I'm in my hypo mode there is no convincing me that I don't have a disease. So lets look at it this way, bad news... you have lyme, ALS, cancer and pPoly-glandular Addisons Disease fact is your going to die and there is nothing you can do about it as you were the one lucky person to have every disease imaginable. How are you going to live the rest of your life? Are you gonna just sit there and die or are you going to live as much as you can before you kick the bucket.

Now where the hell am I going with this nonsense? Well, your running from your fears, finding escape, safety, comfort. Bad news, you aren't going to find it, no one ever does, hell there isn't a day I'm not freaking out about something. Difference is that I accept it and have fun in it. When I get depersonalized/drunk feeling I have fun with it! I'm getting drunk for free :spineyes: ! I have a feeling that deep down inside something is bothering you, and it is manifesting itself as anxiety. Go out live as much as you can, we are all dying and we might be gone sooner then we think but that doesn't mean we cant go out and have fun until it happens. Go to the bar, hit on that one chick you would never think you would take to and get blown out  :sick0002: , go get new threads, find a fulfilling job... Find what you need and go for it!

This stuff wont go away until over night!
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Pura Vida!

Offline braves0042

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Re: Anxiety and Symptoms are fully back :(
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2014, 08:50:02 PM »
Thanks Phony, I think i do need to relax a bit and forget about everything and just have fun at this point, and hopefully i don't have all those diseases, but if i do have something i will have to learn to live just like everyone else, maybe it is something deep down inside bothering me but it is probably best to get on with my life regardless of the anxiety or whatever else may be going on, i appreciate your reply.
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Offline phony90

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Re: Anxiety and Symptoms are fully back :(
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2014, 10:56:56 PM »
Don't worry you don't have any diseases, by your post alone you already gave me many red flags of a hypo! I will say the best way of healing is talking about what you feel (like you are doing now), be accepting and acknowledge that you just have anxiety and that it wont kill you or hurt you so it shouldn't stop you. Doing that over time will affirm that you indeed have anxiety and allow for the healing to begin. This is where I begin to be a more of a hypocrite here as I have been slacking majorly on my meditation, despite how important it is for me to manage my anxiety. The mind has an amazing ability to adapt, our anxiety may never go away but our minds will grow and soon these problems may be less of an issue.

For me I have social anxiety yet when i am at a bar with friends (i don't drink a lot) I still will find the courage to go up to a girl and make a move. Sometimes my anxiety will make my face twitch to the point I like like I'm having a facial seizure  ;*) and there are times where I feel the fear and chose not to let it bother me  ;D. You will get there! You may think you aren't healthy but when you really see the anxiety for what it is you find yourself hardly believing you even thought that!

Keep in touch, we are all here to pull each other through this!
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Pura Vida!

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