Just wondering - does anyone here not just suffer anxiety about their own health, but that of others? My big fear, aside from myself, is for my husband. He doesn't eat a very healthy diet and he's practically completely sedentary when he's not at work (and even when he is at work, he's a DJ and just sits around more tapping on his laptop). He just doesn't care about his own health. He's a devout Christian and claims that God will take care of him. Well, sorry, but I'm an agnostic atheist. That just doesn't fly with me.
My anxiety over his health started almost exactly a year ago, when he was having sporadic numbness in his chest and leg, both on the left side, both lasting for about 5 minutes at a time. I stupidly Googled, remembered him talking about getting a temporary blind spot a few years before, and concluded he of course had MS. I begged him for a month to see a doctor and he refused. Finally one of our friends talked him into going. I don't know what the guy said to convince him, but it worked, so whatever. I was so nervous I took the day off of work and went to the doctor with him, although I stayed in the waiting room when he went in. They concluded he had arthritis and gave him some daily exercises to stretch his spine, which he did maybe twice. But I was comforted that the doctor didn't seem to think he needed an MRI - until a few months later when he confessed the doctor barely even mentioned the numbness, which was the reason he made the appointment in the first place. Cue HA. I still sometimes start freaking out that he has it, but told him NOT to tell me when he was feeling weird unless he wanted me to start harassing him about the doctor again. As he doesn't seem any worse now than he was last year, I'm usually able to push it to the back of my mind.
Then, two weeks ago, he got what we figured was probably salmonella. He woke on a Thursday with raging diarrhea and a fever that lasted the entire day. On Friday, he felt better. Saturday, it seemed to come back along with really bad bloating, and then Sunday he felt fine. He has a sensitive stomach and gets diarrhea fairly often, but he kept saying over and over how he NEVER had food poisoning last so long. Well, salmonella can last up to a week. I just kept telling myself that, and managed to keep calm and focus on my own brain tumor.
Now, tonight, we got Chinese food for dinner and he ate an ENTIRE dinner combo of General Tso's chicken, pork fried rice and an egg roll. (Told you he doesn't have the best diet.) Not long after he finished eating, he had diarrhea. Then he says "I ate something bad again. I can tell." I tried telling him that eating an entire order of Chinese food was probably a bad idea and he likely consumed a week's worth of sodium and that's why he's bloated. He's burping and whining about how he wants to throw up, and of course, in the back of my mind, I'm screaming "Colon cancer! Colon cancer!"
Although of course I love my husband and don't want to lose him, I think a lot of my fear stems from the fact that he a) refuses to see doctors, so if something was wrong with him, we wouldn't find out until it was way far gone, and b) refuses to get real health insurance because one of his "news channels" said that Obamacare was going to force women to have abortions and then we were all going to get chips implanted in us. (Sorry, I don't want to make this political, but those are his real reasons. He's told me). Instead he joined up with something called Christan Healthcare Ministries, which is a cost-sharing program. Basically he gets medical procedures done, tries to bargain with the provider for a lower bill, then sends the bill to this ministry, who decides if they feel like helping with it or not. If they don't, we're stuck with a huge bill, and we are not rich people. And heaven forbid he has something that requires continuous treatment. We'd be screwed.
Anyone else worry just as much about their loved ones as they do about themselves? I wish I could go back to being the person who would look at my husband and say "you just ate 14 lbs of Chinese food; of course you feel sick, you big pig" instead of mentally diagnosing him with colon or stomach cancer or something! Maybe one day I will be that person again - I'm going to really try working on it. But for now, it's hard enough trying not to worry about myself, but throwing another person into the mix...sheesh. Not fun.