Hi everyone, I'm new here, have been browsing through some posts and must say its so reassuring to find that other people's minds work in the same way as mine!
A little about myself - I'm female, age 27, and have always been an anxious person. I've never been to the doctors or had any support, I've just dealt with things in my own way. A lot of my anxiety is centred around health, however where most people like me would be constantly at the doctors seeking reassurance, I have a phobia of doctors so instead I obsess about things so much until the symptoms pass or I find something to make me think there actually isn't anything wrong - I'm aware this is a very dangerous thing to do as one day I actually will have something wrong with me!
At the minute though, my anxiety is so bad that I feel I'm starting to become depressed too. I have no interest or motivation to do the things I usually enjoy, I don't laugh anymore, I have a constant heavy feeling in my head. The only time I feel better is when I'm asleep, so I just want to sleep! This all stems from the fact that my husband and I are trying to conceive. My whole life I've wanted to be a parent and have worried about not being able to have kids and now every single thing in my life is perfect and ready for a baby to be here! I am just starting my fifth cycle. I had a chemical pregnancy on month 2 (a very early miscarriage) which initially, although I was upset, made me feel more positive as we did actually conceive (which had always been my main worry). Now however I'm feeling increasingly negative and in my head it's never going to happen for us....I'm thinking ivf, adoption etc.... I'm completely aware that I'm overreacting and 5 months is no time at all, and even in this time we have conceived.
I'm sorry for the long post and thankyou for anyone who has taken the time to read. I guess I'm just trying to offload to someone who understands how my mind works! My husband is a great support but I can tell he's becoming frustrated as he's not worried in the slightest and is a very positive person. I'm feeling so bad that I would have considered going to my gp for the first time about my anxiety but I don't want anything on my record in case we do have to adopt... Any advice from anybody who has been in a similar situation would be very much appreciated, but even the offloading makes me feel a little better.