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Author Topic: Trying to conceive anxiety taking over my life  (Read 263 times)

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Offline Jdear

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Trying to conceive anxiety taking over my life
« on: August 23, 2014, 08:51:47 AM »
Hi everyone, I'm new here, have been browsing through some posts and must say its so reassuring to find that other people's minds work in the same way as mine!

A little about myself - I'm female, age 27, and have always been an anxious person. I've never been to the doctors or had any support, I've just dealt with things in my own way. A lot of my anxiety is centred around health, however where most people like me would be constantly at the doctors seeking reassurance, I have a phobia of doctors so instead I obsess about things so much until the symptoms pass or I find something to make me think there actually isn't anything wrong - I'm aware this is a very dangerous thing to do as one day I actually will have something wrong with me!

At the minute though, my anxiety is so bad that I feel I'm starting to become depressed too. I have no interest or motivation to do the things I usually enjoy, I don't laugh anymore, I have a constant heavy feeling in my head. The only time I feel better is when I'm asleep, so I just want to sleep! This all stems from the fact that my husband and I are trying to conceive. My whole life I've wanted to be a parent and have worried about not being able to have kids and now every single thing in my life is perfect and ready for a baby to be here! I am just starting my fifth cycle. I had a chemical pregnancy on month 2 (a very early miscarriage) which initially, although I was upset, made me feel more positive as we did actually conceive (which had always been my main worry). Now however I'm feeling increasingly negative and in my head it's never going to happen for us....I'm thinking ivf, adoption etc.... I'm completely aware that I'm overreacting and 5 months is no time at all, and even in this time we have conceived.

I'm sorry for the long post and thankyou for anyone who has taken the time to read. I guess I'm just trying to offload to someone who understands how my mind works! My husband is a great support but I can tell he's becoming frustrated as he's not worried in the slightest and is a very positive person. I'm feeling so bad that I would have considered going to my gp for the first time about my anxiety but I don't want anything on my record in case we do have to adopt... Any advice from anybody who has been in a similar situation would be very much appreciated, but even the offloading makes me feel a little better.
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Offline phony90

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Re: Trying to conceive anxiety taking over my life
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2014, 07:45:11 PM »
Hi! Welcome to the forum and yes you will get the support you need, we have all been though the same stuff and we all pull through. Sorry to hear about you miscarriage. I'm not a parent so I can't imagine the distress of having a miscarriage, but I have seen first hand what it does to people. My aunt died at the age of 2 in her bed from an abnormal heart. It led my grandmother to a life of hoarding and my grandfather to a life of alcohol to escape the pain.
Personally I would adopt a kid, why bring a life in this world when there are already so many out there who didn't have the luxury of having loving a mother or father.
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Pura Vida!

Offline sixpack

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Re: Trying to conceive anxiety taking over my life
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2014, 08:06:26 PM »

I, personally, had the same fear of not being able to conceive or have babies when I was your age.  Being a mom, well I thiink that was what I was born to do.   :winking0008:   

I did have two miscarriages back to back in '93.  they are very distressing.  at the time I wanted all of the test on me and on those babes because I didn't want to go years trying and failing.  It took my mom 8yrs to have me.  she had repeat miscarriages before me.  my sisiter had a couple as well. sooooo I was quite certain I was doomed. 

I now have 6 kids   :goofy:   Our oldest is adopted.  actually I adopted her before hubs and i were married.  she  came from a famil member who was unable to be a mom.  the other 5 kids are all home grown   :happy0151:   

the funniest thing was me being so fearful of not being able to have babies and at the end of our baby making  years we were scrambling to stop.   :laugh3:
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline mollyfin

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Re: Trying to conceive anxiety taking over my life
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2014, 10:24:53 AM »
It took a friend of mine three years of actively planning and trying to conceive her firstborn.  The next one just came along before they even started trying for her.  She's not the only person I know in that situation - for some people it just takes a while to have the first kid, and for some reason it becomes much easier later on. 

Point is, five months isn't a huge wait time.  You wouldn't be the first person to come to this board fearing infertility, only to successfully conceive just months later!  Good luck!
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