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Author Topic: Very very scared that I have breast cancer  (Read 282 times)

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Offline Nicollette

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Very very scared that I have breast cancer
« on: August 21, 2014, 10:39:22 PM »
A year ago I went for my regular yearly mammogram and was surprised and frightened to find out that the radiologist wanted me to come back for a diagnostic mammo in six months, which was February, 2014.  He said I had an increase in microcalcifications in the right breast but did not look suspicious (for cancer); still they want to watch it.   

In February My husband went with me and I was scared to death.  The result was "no change" which in a way was sort of good news in that they looked the same, no increase then.  (microcalcs don't go away and can be either nothing or a sign of cancer). 

Now I go Wed. 27th August for my six month screen and they want to check both breasts as I have a "node" of some kind in the left one, which I've had for a few years now but they never made me go back for more testing.   

I am about frightened out of my mind.  I was told by the technician that I have very dense breast tissue which means the mammo has lots of white and any abnormalities show up white, so I am thinking I am sunk.  I have very extreme fears of cancer more than any other disease and I even had a dear aunt age 55 die of ALS (horrible) but my fear of cancer is greater.   I keep holding onto the words "not suspicious" and praying a lot.   I have a deep faith in God and ashamed of being so scared.   

I will die of fright if I have cancer.    How do I stop making myself ill over this?  I already have a therapist I am seeing.
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Online marie204430

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Re: Very very scared that I have breast cancer
« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2014, 10:52:46 PM »
Sorry to hear what you're going through..A lot of this unknown crap and waiting around is what sucks. When are you going back in? Try to not worry until then and try to forget anything has happened..I know it is hard but remember that worrying does nothing except wear us out and blow us into anxiety attacks. Do not worry unless you get a bad diagnosis which you are so unlikely to get.

My mother has the dense breast tissue as well and she also tends to get a lot of cysts and fibroadenomas in them as well so often they make her go in more than she would like just in case, but every time, she has been fine.
Trust the doctor, they know what looks suspicious. For breast cancer and anything suspicious in the breast, nowadays doctors are so careful and vigilant that it will be impossible to miss the cancer if you are going in for your regular checks. If they thought anything was really off, they would not let you leave.

I have been in for breast ultrasounds many times and when I'm there sometimes, I have to wait quite a bit longer to be seen because someone has a suspicious node, mass or tissue. From my understanding, they do not let you leave if they see anything extremely awful.

Chances are, you are fine and they just want to monitor it just to be 100%. I hope you feel better
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Offline Chloe1990

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Re: Very very scared that I have breast cancer
« Reply #2 on: August 21, 2014, 10:58:59 PM »
I went in for a breast ultrasound because I had found a lump, and during the scan the doctor found 3 mass's in my other breast as well. Safe to say I thought my time was up but she biopsied them and they all came back clear thank god. The doctor who have me my results told me that most breast issues are benign. I think they are just keeping a closer eye on you. If they thought anything awful was going on they would have you back in quicker than you could blink. I really hope you feel better soon I know how awful the waiting game is
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Offline Nicollette

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Re: Very very scared that I have breast cancer
« Reply #3 on: August 21, 2014, 11:04:52 PM »
Thank you both for your replies!
I go back in next Wednesday, Aug. 27th.   I was not too bad until I read on the website - yes I googled - that dense breasts often are misdiagnosed and some of the women gave their stories and went from zero cancer to stage 4 due to the density and the missed diagnosis. 

I may demand to have an ultrasound.  or an MRI.  Then my fears would be put to rest if nothing showed up!   the website is www.areyoudense.org   and it is very scary to see some of the women have even died after being told they had a normal mammogram and in a few days or months were told they had stage 4 cancer.  I'd advise no one to go to that site. :(


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Online marie204430

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Re: Very very scared that I have breast cancer
« Reply #4 on: August 21, 2014, 11:09:00 PM »
Ugh..I really dislike all those cancer board sites. They are AWFUL for hypochondriacs. When I thought I had ovarian cancer, I read at least 5-10 people on here have my exact same symptoms and end up being diagnosed.
I eventually had an ultrasound and I had a tiny cyst that wasn't even likely to cause symptoms. The day I was cleared, I slept nicely and had no pain after supposedly feeling "crippling" pain that I was 100% sure was cancer the few days before. People write about all the tiny symptoms or experiences they had when they are diagnosed with cancer that may or may have not been related to the cancer. So you should try to stay off that site and not google. Easier said than done...i still struggle and throw myself into an anxiety attack over it almost everyday.

Also, I believe mammograms are more efficient in detecting breast issues than ultrasounds. I could be wrong, I am only saying because us hypochondriacs tend to want to go crazy on the tests that end up being a waste of time + more anxious waiting time for nothing.

Like Chloe said, if they were truly suspicious, you'd be back in there already, or maybe they wouldn't have even let you leave the place.
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Offline sky3942

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Re: Very very scared that I have breast cancer
« Reply #5 on: August 21, 2014, 11:26:48 PM »
I had my 3D mammogram today and annual physical high on the anxiety level I have to say. With that being said I was called back because of dense breast tissue on my left, it was my first mammogram in many years. The radiologist explained to me that we have dense tissue before menopause, and after that it starts to turn gray on the image the older we get. If you are 29 or younger they would  rather do a ultrasound because they get a clearer image. So its normal to have dense breast tissue. And I am praying that all is well with you mammogram I know how it feels to wait, it is the worst part for me.
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Online marie204430

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Re: Very very scared that I have breast cancer
« Reply #6 on: August 21, 2014, 11:32:23 PM »
Oops very sorry nicolette, I was really wrong about the ultrasound. I went onto the website and see how it is so scary :O
Go ahead with whatever testing you think you need of course but for your anxiety's sake, try to remember that if what you request comes clean, to stop worrying about it. Also remember those cases you read online are rare.
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Offline Nicollette

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Re: Very very scared that I have breast cancer
« Reply #7 on: August 21, 2014, 11:39:16 PM »
Thank you Sky and Marie!   Just coming here and expressing my fears was a bit of a release for sure.  I know I am still very anxious but I do appreciate your experiences and comments.   I will stay away from that website, Marie!    I will come back with my results after the 27th and thanks again for the prayers and thoughts - very much appreciated.
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Online marie204430

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Re: Very very scared that I have breast cancer
« Reply #8 on: August 21, 2014, 11:50:43 PM »
Positive thoughts until then :)
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Offline Chloe1990

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Re: Very very scared that I have breast cancer
« Reply #9 on: August 22, 2014, 02:33:29 AM »
Yikes I wouldn't go on that site... During my breast issues I stayed away from Google completely I was scared enough already.i doubt they have missed anything Nicollette. When I had my scan the lady was so thorough. She also told me I had a lot of tissue on the bottom
Of my breasts that I always thought felt quite hard, but she didn't say it was a concern. 
I'm sure your gonna be fine, let us know how you get on :)
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Offline mct425

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Re: Very very scared that I have breast cancer
« Reply #10 on: August 22, 2014, 03:23:53 PM »
Aww-I understand that fear as I'm going through it too :(

I've found that google does nothing but make my fear worse.  There are  stories out there of people who have "normal" scans and then end up with stage IV something or other.  They scare me, too. BUT...if you were to count up how many of those stories there are, and compare it with the number of people whose normal scans are truly normal, I bet you would find that it is rare to miss something like bc.

Stay off google-especially websites like you mentioned.  Those are frightening places to go, and don't do anything to help you out.
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Offline AncientMelody

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Re: Very very scared that I have breast cancer
« Reply #11 on: August 22, 2014, 06:58:06 PM »
I keep holding onto the words "not suspicious" and praying a lot.   I have a deep faith in God and ashamed of being so scared.   

I will die of fright if I have cancer.    How do I stop making myself ill over this?  I already have a therapist I am seeing.

You have fear....a lot of people who don't even have anxiety may feel that in this situation. The anxiety on top of it makes it even more fearful. But please don't feel shame. Spiritual people are still prone to the same struggles as those without. It doesn't make you any less faithful. I get into the trap of feeling shame sometimes and all it does it try to pull us back into the cycle. Say your prayers, accept your fears. And be well---or at least be comforted in your struggles.
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