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Author Topic: This is how it feels...  (Read 236 times)

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Offline never quit

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This is how it feels...
« on: August 19, 2014, 05:26:47 PM »
I managed to crystallize how it feels when I have and episode.

It's like a switch is thrown in my nervous system. I can tell when it starts and when it goes away. When it's on, there is a heightened feeling of alarm and hyper-vigilance. It is steady, it doesn't come and go. Physically, my skin feels hot. I feel tense, my teeth are clenched. There's a free-floating fear and worry with no apparent source or cause. This one started yesterday on the train home and kept up through my workout. I was able to sleep some, but it came back with a vengeance this morning. It's like it waits for me. This one has been relatively low grade. I've been much worse. But it's been persistent,  this is going on about 22 hours.

Anyone relate? I don't know anyone else who gets like this.
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Offline Blondie1984

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Re: This is how it feels...
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2014, 06:15:21 PM »
That's a very good description.

And when the switch flips to off, it's like this sudden refreshing breeze comes in. I don't notice the anxiety has eased up until that breeze comes and blows away the anxiety fog.

I'm currently on day 2 of a severe episode. I woke up and it was worse than ever. I haven't had a big one like this in 4 years.  :(
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Offline never quit

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Re: This is how it feels...
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2014, 11:34:22 PM »
Hi Blondie. I'm sorry you aren't doing so well. Four years of peace, wow, that's a nice run. Maybe this will be just a temporary bump for you.

I ended up going to a baseball game. It was a good distraction. I'll know if this has run its course when I get up tomorrow. I'm on a new med that I really hoped would be the answer, it doesn't look like that's the case. I have just about resigned myself to the fact that this is my life, such as it is.

I still manage to get out there and keep swinging though. I will strap it on and go to work tomorrow and battle through another day. Sigh.
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Offline NeverAgain2

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Re: This is how it feels...
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2014, 12:11:50 AM »
I managed to crystallize how it feels when I have and episode.

It's like a switch is thrown in my nervous system. I can tell when it starts and when it goes away. When it's on, there is a heightened feeling of alarm and hyper-vigilance. It is steady, it doesn't come and go. Physically, my skin feels hot. I feel tense, my teeth are clenched. There's a free-floating fear and worry with no apparent source or cause. This one started yesterday on the train home and kept up through my workout. I was able to sleep some, but it came back with a vengeance this morning. It's like it waits for me. This one has been relatively low grade. I've been much worse. But it's been persistent,  this is going on about 22 hours.

Anyone relate? I don't know anyone else who gets like this.

I know it is assuring to find somebody who has the same symptoms, but it rarely happens that anything is exactly the same.  The best idea on this is to just accept it as your "special" way of exhibiting anxiety/stress.  It is really probably better not to even come to the forums and ask about it.

You are doing a fine job of working on your thoughts, which you can control. It is your symptoms that you can't control, because they come from the unconscious.  Work on your thoughts the way you are doing -- fulfilling your responsibilities, having some fun and doing everyday things-- and you will just find that you are better.

Feelings aren't facts, and while panic whips up fear, fear is a feeling.  If there are any facts looming that you think might be causing some conscious fear, try to resolve it or change your frame of reference on it.  You have to just keep going through the panic, which you are doing.

Bravo!
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Offline never quit

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Re: This is how it feels...
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2014, 08:29:23 AM »
I seek out the experience of others that is similar to mine in the hope that they have learned to treat their condition effectively. Anxiety causes such a crazy range of symptoms, I know everyone's experience is different, but mine seems so specific. I firmly believe there is some malfunction in my nervous system that can be addressed.

Anyway... thanks for the support. I woke up feeling pretty good today, go figure. Hoping for a good stretch.
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Offline NeverAgain2

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Re: This is how it feels...
« Reply #5 on: August 20, 2014, 09:38:49 AM »
I seek out the experience of others that is similar to mine in the hope that they have learned to treat their condition effectively. Anxiety causes such a crazy range of symptoms, I know everyone's experience is different, but mine seems so specific. I firmly believe there is some malfunction in my nervous system that can be addressed.

Anyway... thanks for the support. I woke up feeling pretty good today, go figure. Hoping for a good stretch.

Glad you're doing better. 

I thought my symptoms were so different, and I never did find anybody who had the same exact ones.  Treating my anxiety was no different than anybody's, because it happens in the mind and is manifested by the body.
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