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Author Topic: I'm scared to death  (Read 282 times)

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Offline completelyinsane

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I'm scared to death
« on: August 19, 2014, 05:09:58 PM »
Hi Guys!

I am new to the forum but I felt like i need to express my feelings here.

I've been suffering from extreme anxiety for years. It's usually a cycle or episodes ... I don't know how to describe it.

I am having an episode right now and i didn't really know who to turn to. For instance I am 100% sure that i have lymphoma right now and I've been suffering from swollen lymph nodes since i was little ( about 10 years ago). My lymph nodes stayed the same size and they are quite large with no other symptoms. I recently had a blood test which came back normal and now I'm waiting for more results. I am freaked out of course..I can't eat,I can't sleep, I can't stop thinking about it. I feel like my glands are bigger and really hard and I am convinced i have cancer.

A few months ago i was convinced i had AIDS, just a few weeks ago i was completely sure i had chlamydia ( all negative btw). Two - three months ago i was convinced i had cervical cancer... and now lymphoma. I just don't know what to do ... I am so confused and sad. I am constantly depressed and scared. I have an amazing boyfriend which i love very much and I always think : " Oh God! What if I have cancer...How on earth am i going to tell him? I don't want to die" ....

I remember when i was younger,my anxiety got to the point where i was planning my own funeral. It's annoying and exhausting.

Please if someone could help me ...i would be forever grateful!

All Best
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Online Never-Quit

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Re: I'm scared to death
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2014, 04:08:33 AM »
Welcome,  :action-smiley-065:

It sounds like you have a very common 'Anxiety Disorder' called HA or Hypochondria that many people have, I am sorry you are going through this painful period.


People who have excessive and unrealistic worries about their health called hypochondriasis or hypochondria.  Those with the disorder are very worried about getting a disease or are certain they have a disease, even after medical tests show they do not.

Further, these people often misinterpret minor health problems or normal body functions as symptoms of a serious disease. An example is a person who is sure that her headaches are caused by a brain tumor. The symptoms associated with somatic symptom disorder are not under the person's voluntary control, and can cause great distress and/or can interfere with a person's normal functioning.


The good news, is that this can be effectively controlled and managed today new era of medical research.  :yes:


I am very happy you are joining us, you will find many people here that can relate, and many resources to help you in your Journey to recovery and a healthy mental and physical life.


Please feel free share any information you are comfortable with  :happy0151:



You will find a lot empathy and understanding  :yes:

Being a member here, I have found 3 great areas to help you
1.   Solid and helpful information and even a self-test quiz, VERY HELPFUL when I speak to my dr. - I would have printouts of my symptoms and self-quiz to help my doctor point me in the right directions - here are some great links to get you started :grinning-smiley-003:
                                   
                                    SELF-DIAGNOSIS AND SELF-TESTS

                                   
                                    http://www.anxietyzone.com/NIMHgad.pdf  -  GAD anxiety + SELF-TEST
                                            I never stop worrying about things big and small. I have headaches and other aches and pains for no reason.
                                            I am tense a lot and have trouble relaxing. I have trouble keeping my mind on one thing.
                                            I have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. I sweat and have hot flashes.
                                            I sometimes have a lump in my throat or feel like I need to throw up when I am worried


                                    http://www.anxietyzone.com/NIMHdepwomenknows.pdf - DEPRESSION + SELF-TEST
                                            Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood. Loss of interest or pleasure in activities, including sex.
                                            Restlessness, irritability, or excessive crying. Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness,.
                                            Sleeping too much or too little, early-morning awakening.  Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating / weight gain
                                            Decreased energy, fatigue, feeling "slowed down"
                                            Thoughts of death or taking one's own life. Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions.
                                            Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, - headaches, digestive disorders, chronic pain


                                    http://www.anxietyzone.com/NIMHocd.pdf - OCD + SELF-TEST
                                            I have upsetting thoughts or images enter my mind again and again.
                                            I feel like I can’t stop these thoughts or images, even though I want to.
                                            I have a hard time stopping myself from doing things again : counting, checking on things, washing hands.
                                            I am Re-arranging objects, doing things until it feels right, collecting useless objects
                                            I worry a lot about terrible things that could happen if I’m not careful.
                                            I have unwanted urges to hurt someone but know I never would.

                                 
                                     


2.   Many caring members and resources to help you in both Therapy – CBT, Positive thinking, and Medical Therapy – which medications are being used and our member’s experience in using them.  :sad0126:

3.   Chat – Being able to communicate with on another is so important in the healing and recovery process.  :chat:

Make yourself home, and feel free to post any questions you may have. 


You have a bright Future waiting for you!   :action-smiley-065:
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Never, never, never give up. -Winston Churchill

“You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you."   ~ John Wooden

Offline completelyinsane

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Re: I'm scared to death
« Reply #2 on: August 21, 2014, 01:40:09 PM »
Thank you so very much for your reply!

All the information is really helpful. I really needed to speak to someone. I am feeling a little bit better today even though I would like to forget about my worries and carry on ... it's quite hard but I'm staying positive.  :( ::)

Thank you!

All Best
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Offline marie204430

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Re: I'm scared to death
« Reply #3 on: August 21, 2014, 03:04:51 PM »
We all love to worry about nodes on here. I am one of them and am slowly getting over my lymphoma fear after 4 clear CBCs and 4 doctors feeling them and either barely being abel to feel them and saying they are totally fine.
Lots of things can cause nodes to swell, sometimes minor things. Some people are more sensitive than others. If you've had them from since you were little, you are totally fine.
People say to look out for hard, immovable nodes that are painless and although it is true that these are the type to keep more of an eye out for (painful or sore ones are less worrisome), you can have painless and rock hard ones and they are totally fine. They become shoddy nodes and I know people who have at least 7 of them all over their body but they are not hypochondriacs.
Their doctors say they are fine.

i hope you feel better.
Your blood test would show something off, that's what my doctors told me if you had some sort of issue.
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Online Never-Quit

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Re: I'm scared to death
« Reply #4 on: August 21, 2014, 04:40:18 PM »
Thank you so very much for your reply!

All the information is really helpful. I really needed to speak to someone. I am feeling a little bit better today even though I would like to forget about my worries and carry on ... it's quite hard but I'm staying positive.  :( ::)

Thank you!

All Best

I would encourage you to go to the Chat Area, you can speak with many of our wonderful members. :yes:

Many times all we need is 'emotional oxygen'    :sad0126:    - just communicating with someone who understands what we are going through :yes:

Just place a quick post - letting people that you would like to have chat-buddy   :chat:

Good luck and 'keep moving forward' you are making great progress  :nature-smiley-016: :action-smiley-065:


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Never, never, never give up. -Winston Churchill

“You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you."   ~ John Wooden

Offline completelyinsane

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Re: I'm scared to death
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2014, 04:31:52 PM »
I appreciate all your help Never-Quit! It is so true that we all need emotional oxygen!

I am trying to use the chat room but i can't because i need to have at least 3 posts... is there any other way i could use it at the moment?

Marie thank you so much for you help! I've read so much about lymph nodes and it is actually true that they could become swollen even when you're stressed out...

Still waiting for a full autoimmune profile results but i am feeling much better now...

Thank you guys so much!

I will keep in touch
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Offline completelyinsane

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Re: I'm scared to death
« Reply #6 on: August 25, 2014, 04:34:16 PM »
Sorry i forgot to mention that i had vitamin D and iron deficiency  on my first blood results...which made a total health psychopath...
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Offline rh749747

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Re: I'm scared to death
« Reply #7 on: August 28, 2014, 12:14:01 PM »
Completelyinsane I'm going through the same thing! I lost about 7lbs without trying and suddenly thought I had cancer then hiv. I researched hiv for the last 2 weeks and am convinced I have it to the point I'm terrified of tests. My gf even went to get tested to shut me up (negative).

I've worried myself sick thinking I have it and it's driving me nuts I am completely onboard with you and hope all works out.
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Tags: cancer 
 

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