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Author Topic: Fear of going crazy  (Read 103 times)

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Offline jakcob

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Fear of going crazy
« on: August 16, 2014, 10:34:46 PM »
Okay, I know this is suppose to be a common symptom. All I'm going to say is that this fear started when I learned about schizophrenia in psychology, it was while I was taking Zoloft which had calmed my anxiety down about 90%. Mental illness does not run on either side of my family, maybe a bit of substance abuse (alcohol). Anyways, I myself have dabbled in pot and LSD and some other weird drug that was more along the lines of MDMA (Felt like a mix between speed and psychedelia).

I started experiencing anxiety the day after I took one gram of shrooms, I had a panic attack on the trip and it's weird considering I've done a way higher dose of LSD before that, and that trip was mind-blowing. I was 16 at the time, didn't quite know how to integrate the experience. So after I got over my fear of having a heart attack with Zoloft it was time to taper off the medication so I did (didn't think I really needed it). My anxiety didn't come back full-blown until a month after I stopped the medication (probably because I didn't really change my life-style/didn't do therapy, but I did quit all drugs with the occasional toke which quickly ended as it made my anxiety worse).  :(

Fast-forward a couple months and here I am terrified that I will lose my mind/start hearing voices/whispers. The brain fog doesn't help either nor does the depersonalisation. I was doing much better but the more I research schizophrenia the more I get the symptoms of being in the early stages. It's terrifying and has resulted in loss of sleep and loss of appetite. I feel like there's this tight band around my head all the time and I'm always waiting to start hearing voices/hallucinate or believe my delusional thoughts (which now occur because that's what I read).

I'm not going to lie, this is extremely scary for me because now I'm at the point where I'm constantly listening to the background noises and interpreting them as whispers or voices (like what the early stage is suppose to be). Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated. This is the fear that has caused my depersonalisation to kick in the most and I'm extremely worried since I'm only 17 and this is around the age it's supposed to develop. Deep down I realize this could a irrational but I'm hoping that having anxiety in no way increases risk of schizophrenia.

Sorry for the rambling, just seeking reassurance.  : :sad0123:

Jake 
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Offline kvndl2

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Re: Fear of going crazy
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2014, 12:09:19 AM »
Hey Jake,

First things first, you're not going crazy nor are you going to develop schizophrenia.
This is all just anxiety and what you're doing when you google is your feeding the fear and making it stronger, it's like pouring gasoline on an already burning fire. And by sitting and dwelling on these thoughts just feeds it even more.

Do you go to therapy? Do you still take your medication or are you off it for good?

Maybe you should take a trip to the doctor and tell them about your symptoms, give you medication to ease your anxiety whether it be Lorazepam or any other benzodiazepine that'll give you quick relief without it being something like Lexapro. Although the doctors will warn you that it is an addictive drug and users can easily abuse it.

So they might prescribe it with caution.

Instead of googling schizophrenia , you should google ways to relax (yoga, meditation, breathing exercises). I know this might sound silly but it really is helpful.

You should also try and take up a hobby, hang around friends to keep yourself distracted. Play video games. Anything that'll stop you from thinking that you're going to go off the rails, because the worst thing that's happening to you is that you have anxiety and it's pulling you down. Just tell yourself this is the worst it's going to get and it can only get better from here on out.
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Offline jakcob

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Re: Fear of going crazy
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2014, 12:39:23 AM »
I really appreciate your advice and help, it means a lot  :happy0062:. I believe that I can do this without meds  since when I was on Zoloft (50 mg) it really did return me to my normalcy before that fateful night. I am going to see a psychologist next week when classes start to hopefully get a referral to someone who knows a thing or two about anxiety and perhaps a proper diagnosis. Thanks for the reply!
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Offline kvndl2

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Re: Fear of going crazy
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2014, 12:43:48 AM »
You're very welcome! :)
Well I'm glad that you believe you can do it without the meds! I wish you best of luck and be sure to update us all on how it goes.
I'm sure you'll get it all settled.
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