Thank you all for your replies. I am having another really rough day today
Fordaisy - Every doctor that I have gone told has told me "you just have anxiety". I started seeing a psychologist but due to money issues, I can no longer afford to do that.
I constantly feel out of it, disconnected, dizzy, feeling like I'm seconds away from passing out.....shaky. The shakiness is the worst because it scares me so bad. The best way to describe the shakiness is shaking mixed with that feeling of when you work out too hard and are trembling. Sometimes I feel like I can't get a deep breath in either. It is so scary. I start feeling one of these symptoms and then my mind goes back to when all this originally started......
What happened was, I was at work and all of a sudden because very nauseous, dizzy, sweaty, etc and nearly passed out. Everyone at work called 911 and the paramedics took me to the hospital. I was having left sided weakness, so they thought I had a stroke and did a bunch of tests, all which came back negative. They kept me in the hospital for awhile and ran some more tests and could come up with nothing. Fast forward a week later, and I was back in the ER for a racing heart. Once again, nothing could be found and they told me I had anxiety and I needed to relax. He gave me a prescription for Xanax and sent me on my way. Looking back on it all, this all started after I had gone through the most stressful time in my life. I was/still am going through a very rigorous academic program, my car broke down and I had to buy a new one, I'm in the midst of planning a wedding.....there's just a lot going on
Ever since then though, I just haven't been the same. I wake up and the second I wake up, I'm trembling and getting these horrible dropping feelings in my stomach. NO ONE around me understands what I'm going through. They all say I am doing it to myself, just stop, get it together......the list could go on and on.
I am starting school tomorrow and I am SO SCARED that I am going to have these feelings in class and something bad is going to happen. Ever since that happened at work, I have this horrible, terrifying fear of passing out. I cannot get over it.
I do not take medication and I am reluctant to do so. I'm afraid of taking it and then eventually getting off of it and having rebounding effects.
I so desperately want to feel like my old self. I never used to be like this. I am so scared that I am stuck like this forever. I have a wedding coming up and I want to be able to enjoy it without feeling these symptoms all the time