Member Gallery    Games   Member Groups   Member Blogs   Health News    Bored?

Author Topic: Shaking aching shrinking thigh! Big MND fears  (Read 2011 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline LadyH

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 50
  • Country: gb
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Exhausted
    Exhausted
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Shaking aching shrinking thigh! Big MND fears
« Reply #10 on: August 18, 2014, 08:53:31 AM »
Hi Shawn,
Yes thank you for your reply, and I gave your post a read which was great and very relevant for me.

What you say is so true, it's a very difficult situation to be in and at the moment, I do just feel totally overwhelmed by these thoughts and feelings- physical and emotional. I find it so hard not to go running back to the doctor thinking, did I tell him this at the time? Had this started yet? Did he know about this & what about that...... But I must think- he is a professional- I shouldn't have to tell him everything, if I forgot something whatever he would have asked all the right questions. He did the Neuro exam which was fine,

It's so tricky when I see and feel things that are so real and scary to me, that it is my bloody brain lying and playing tricks on me.

I don't want to get stuck in a cycle of running to the doctor constantly, and hope this therapy will help.
Even though I can rationalize things out, I am stuck with the underlying, overwhelming feeling that there is something drastically wrong, and I just can't shake that.

Hxx
Bookmark and Share

Offline ShawnW

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 876
  • Country: 00
  • Rec's: 38
  • Gender: Male
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Shaking aching shrinking thigh! Big MND fears
« Reply #11 on: August 18, 2014, 09:14:56 AM »
Hi Shawn,
Yes thank you for your reply, and I gave your post a read which was great and very relevant for me.

What you say is so true, it's a very difficult situation to be in and at the moment, I do just feel totally overwhelmed by these thoughts and feelings- physical and emotional. I find it so hard not to go running back to the doctor thinking, did I tell him this at the time? Had this started yet? Did he know about this & what about that...... But I must think- he is a professional- I shouldn't have to tell him everything, if I forgot something whatever he would have asked all the right questions. He did the Neuro exam which was fine,

It's so tricky when I see and feel things that are so real and scary to me, that it is my bloody brain lying and playing tricks on me.

I don't want to get stuck in a cycle of running to the doctor constantly, and hope this therapy will help.
Even though I can rationalize things out, I am stuck with the underlying, overwhelming feeling that there is something drastically wrong, and I just can't shake that.

Hxx

As a physician I have seen good and bad docs.  But, all are trained to see and find the really bad stuff.  Most can do an adequate neuro exam.  If reflexes and strength are intact the chances of having some sort or rare presentation of a rare disorder are so small it's not worth talking about.  The best *** specialists in the world agree...if the neuro exam in normal it's not ***.  They use EMG to confirm their suspicions, to sort through other disease processes and/or to console anxiety.  GPs are trained if anything seems slightly amiss then refer.  That should tell you much.  Accept that you are physically healthy then attack this anxiety thing head on.
Bookmark and Share
My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline LadyH

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 50
  • Country: gb
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Exhausted
    Exhausted
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Shaking aching shrinking thigh! Big MND fears
« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2014, 05:10:20 AM »
HI Shawn,

I had a great appointment yesterday with a counselor/ coordinator at a great little place. It was really good to talk to someone.
She's recommended 3ish months of CBT to attack this initial problem- a sort of intervention. And then most likely some more in depth counselling, to get to the route of some deep seated issues it's obvious that I'm harboring.
It was a great session, I was very honest and open, even though that can be hard. I know it's going to be a bumpy road ahead and I will have to put work in, but she said how resilient and strong I seemed, which is half the battle to overcome these horrible things!!

Physically I am still so concerned about my leg, it still occupies my thoughts 24/7. This waste I feel I can see & touch in the outer thigh, the constant rumblings, aching and horrible feelings, buzzing, vibrating, shaking & bubbling. The fact that you know, I can't stand on that leg without wobbling, the fact I can't squat with that leg. That there's a massive freaking hole in my flat wasting muscle there.
But as you said, I saw a doctor 2 weeks ago, who said my exam was totally normal, and I must hang on to that, though it is hard and my urge to run to the doctor with these "new" symptoms is so overwhelming. 

Hope you're having a good day
Hxx
 
Bookmark and Share

Offline ShawnW

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 876
  • Country: 00
  • Rec's: 38
  • Gender: Male
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Shaking aching shrinking thigh! Big MND fears
« Reply #13 on: August 19, 2014, 09:32:21 AM »
LadyH,

Therapy is a good thing.  It will help.  The question I would have for you is did your physician agree with your observations?  Did he see this "massive hole" you speak about?  Small dents become "massive wasting" in our eyes.  If a physician seen "massive wasting" he wouldn't blow it off.  So I must assume either 1) He didn't agree with your observations 2) You didn't show it to him 3) It's new
Bookmark and Share
My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline LadyH

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 50
  • Country: gb
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Exhausted
    Exhausted
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Shaking aching shrinking thigh! Big MND fears
« Reply #14 on: August 19, 2014, 09:48:07 AM »
Hi Shawn,
It's new, as in I just noticed it a few days ago and so he didn't see it,
Hx
Bookmark and Share

Offline ShawnW

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 876
  • Country: 00
  • Rec's: 38
  • Gender: Male
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Shaking aching shrinking thigh! Big MND fears
« Reply #15 on: August 19, 2014, 11:59:10 AM »
Hi Shawn,
It's new, as in I just noticed it a few days ago and so he didn't see it,
Hx

To have "massive atrophy" within 10 days of a physician checking you...is HIGHLY improbable.  But, if you truly believe it's new then get it checked.  Let him take a look at it.
Bookmark and Share
My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline filopastry

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 32
  • Rec's: 1
  • Gender: Male
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Shaking aching shrinking thigh! Big MND fears
« Reply #16 on: August 19, 2014, 12:06:49 PM »
LadyH,

Therapy is a good thing.  It will help.  The question I would have for you is did your physician agree with your observations?  Did he see this "massive hole" you speak about?  Small dents become "massive wasting" in our eyes.  If a physician seen "massive wasting" he wouldn't blow it off.  So I must assume either 1) He didn't agree with your observations 2) You didn't show it to him 3) It's new

All too true,  I was convinced one side of my face was wasting away, and that I was getting a sunken cheek on one side, showed it to my sister who is a doctor and she could see absolutely nothing worth noting that wasn't caused by losing some weight and that we are all a bit asymetrical anyway.


Physically I am still so concerned about my leg, it still occupies my thoughts 24/7. This waste I feel I can see & touch in the outer thigh, the constant rumblings, aching and horrible feelings, buzzing, vibrating, shaking & bubbling. The fact that you know, I can't stand on that leg without wobbling, the fact I can't squat with that leg. That there's a massive freaking hole in my flat wasting muscle there.
But as you said, I saw a doctor 2 weeks ago, who said my exam was totally normal, and I must hang on to that, though it is hard and my urge to run to the doctor with these "new" symptoms is so overwhelming. 


I had the buzzing/jelly leg/twitching feeling as well a few months ago, I won't belittle your fears as I also convinced myself it could possibly be ALS (as crazy as I knew that was deep down), it went on for a good month or so on and off, eventually went to the docs with it, and they said it was nothing, unusually for me I actually accepted that and the symptoms cleared up pretty quickly to be followed by something else, it hasn't really bothered me since.
Bookmark and Share

Offline LadyH

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 50
  • Country: gb
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Exhausted
    Exhausted
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Shaking aching shrinking thigh! Big MND fears
« Reply #17 on: August 19, 2014, 12:14:31 PM »
Thanks both,
It's hard and I feel like (and obviously hope!) that you're both right, but it's difficult to be rational, when the thing that you are worried about is so unimaginable and scary.

I have started the therapy now, and I promised myself that I wouldn't go back to the docs unless something new happened, and whilst I feel like these are new things, kind of just new to my awareness, not actually new?

Thanks Shawn for your logic, you're right, how could there have been such a steep decline in just 2 weeks (Almost to the hour right now) and it would have to be one hell of a coincidence, for me to go to the doctor believing I have a disease, him tell me I'm fine, and then I develop that disease over the next two weeks!!!!

I am holding the option open for myself to go back, if I do feel like I need to. Unfortunately at my doctors, and because of my working hours, it's impossible to get an appointment in a timely manner anyway, which is one of the things that stops me running back all the time I think!!

I just feel like I'm waiting it out, it's like I'm waiting for it to get bad enough to have enough to go back to the docs with. It's just so difficult because what I feel is so real, and what I see is so real.

Thanks both for your comments, keep them coming I find it very helpful!!
Hx

Bookmark and Share

Offline LadyH

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 50
  • Country: gb
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Exhausted
    Exhausted
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Shaking aching shrinking thigh! Big MND fears
« Reply #18 on: August 27, 2014, 06:31:36 AM »
Hi all,
Resurrecting this thread as I'm going out of my mind!
The pictures are of my leg, the on that I feel is shrinking! The one that I feel all this horribly vibrating/ humming/ twitching/ crawling in.
I hope you can see in the photo's, they don't show as vividly as I can see in the flesh (correct angles etc are hard to achieve), about the flatness, the dip & the dent, and the difference in size of my leg.

The difference in size I can kinda get over. But what it is, when I left my leg straight out to the side, the big dip happens. t's like my big muscle at the front falls to the side and reveals how there is no muscle there at the side of my leg. There's a bump where I've got some like upper thigh flab (I'm cool with my flab!) and then it just dips down into my leg like an inch, then it's all flat to the knee. There's  the horrible dent, that's hard and about 2 fingers wide, creates a visible dimple.

I don't have any of this on the other leg.

The last few days I've noticed a real stiffness in the front of my thigh, like I used to have to really try to stretch this muscle out, and now I on't have to barely make an effort and it feels tight,

This thigh also aches constantly, not a bad ache but like a mild toothache, the kind that makes you want to rub it to soothe it a little.

I literally am convinced this is muscle wasting. Every morning when I wake up I move my leg and think, Oh thank God  can still move it, and then I get up & think, Thank od I can still walk. ATM I'm waiting for the morning when I step out on the leg and it collapses under me.
I've lost around 6KG's in the last month- 6 weeks or so, and cannot for the life of me see where form other than this damned leg, it's the only part of me that looks/ feels any different.
It's tight & stiff & I feel like I'm limping on it.



So very scared. Any & all questions, comments & suggestions welcome!!!
Please talk to me,

Hxx
Bookmark and Share

Offline ShawnW

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 876
  • Country: 00
  • Rec's: 38
  • Gender: Male
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Shaking aching shrinking thigh! Big MND fears
« Reply #19 on: August 27, 2014, 06:59:40 AM »
If the reflexes of that leg are normal...it's not muscle wasting.  It's really that simple.  Dents, dents, and asymmetry are not ***.
Bookmark and Share
My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Tags: MND ALS 
 

anything