I had a great appointment yesterday with a counselor/ coordinator at a great little place. It was really good to talk to someone.
She's recommended 3ish months of CBT to attack this initial problem- a sort of intervention. And then most likely some more in depth counselling, to get to the route of some deep seated issues it's obvious that I'm harboring.
It was a great session, I was very honest and open, even though that can be hard. I know it's going to be a bumpy road ahead and I will have to put work in, but she said how resilient and strong I seemed, which is half the battle to overcome these horrible things!!
Physically I am still so concerned about my leg, it still occupies my thoughts 24/7. This waste I feel I can see & touch in the outer thigh, the constant rumblings, aching and horrible feelings, buzzing, vibrating, shaking & bubbling. The fact that you know, I can't stand on that leg without wobbling, the fact I can't squat with that leg. That there's a massive freaking hole in my flat wasting muscle there.
But as you said, I saw a doctor 2 weeks ago, who said my exam was totally normal, and I must hang on to that, though it is hard and my urge to run to the doctor with these "new" symptoms is so overwhelming.
Hope you're having a good day