Hello, I have suffered from health anxiety and constant worry for as long as I can remember. Over the years I have been terrified I will die of blood clots, flesh eating bacteria, various cancers, and a host of other illnesses.
The last 6 weeks have been a nightmare for me, I had my first panic attack after months in mid May, and I have had about six more since, my most recent being this past Wednesday. Over the last 6 weeks I have convinced myself that I have a slew of health problems and it just wont stop. I am terrified something is wrong with me at this point, I keep poking and prodding and examining my body and I google symptoms obsessively. My symptoms have been tingles, pain in my sternum and armpits, headaches,joint pain, itchy skin, loss of appetite, weight loss, dry mouth and eyes, and a cold that I developed last week.
It all started in mid may of this year, I had a panic attack and I was convinces the dizziness, tingles and heart palpitations were caused by anemia, I googled symptoms and this lead me to believe I had a bleeding ulcer or thyroid condition. I made an appointment with my GP and over the next few days I decided I must have flesh eating bacteria or sepsis caused by a cluster of ingrown hairs(I saw a story about how ingrown hairs can kill you and went into anxiety overdrive). This combined with fear of another anxiety attack caused me to be a wreck before my appointment. My GP ordered blood test(CBC, thyroid and chemistry) which all came back fine, except for slightly high blood protein. I googled this and convinced myself I must have myeloma or MGUS. These fears have since left me.
I then developed a stomach bug that had been going around town, I convinced myself it must be colon or stomach cancer. It was over completely after a week and my mind was put to rest. All the while I was experiencing tingles and muscle spasms.
I then saw a story on melanoma and how ALL moles might potentially be cancerous. I immediately began an anxiety attack coming on and went to go check my moles, sure enough there was some flaking/dry skin over a few and I immediately thought that I must go have these biopsied. It consumed me and I was out of it at work and could barely function. Then three days later I developed pain in my armpits and sternum, I googled again and I am terrified I might have lymphoma or breast cancer. The pain has lessened over the weeks but I am still scared.
I also began to have nightmares about being sick, being in the hospital and finding lumps and cysts all over my body I googled this(yet again) and I am convinced this is a warning sign(I saw a bunch of stories on this). I have been having very weird vivid dreams and it is freaking me out. I dreamt I was eating popcorn and sure enough the next day someone bought popcorn into work. Needless to say I am a complete wreck at this point. I also developed a cold last week and I am terrified it is something more sinister. I am even waking up in fear and have an intense sense of dread all day long. I don't do the things I enjoy anymore and I am constantly googling symptoms and medical horror stories. Some symptoms even appear after I google. I am driving my family crazy, over the past few weeks I have had every condition known to man and I am scared. Now I have pain near my ovary and I think I might have breast cancer.
I have an intense feeling of dread for the future and I am terrified I might not get better, I am terrified of dying and it's almost as if I have convinced myself I am seriously ill and it is driving me crazy. I am so scared, I can't sleep at night and when I do sleep it is rough and not very good, I am losing my mind. I just keep seeing medical horror stories and keep dwelling on it. I am only 23, I want to get married and have a family, I want to be free of anxiety and I want reassurance. I am just so scared at this point.
I am seeing my doctor again Monday and I want to request a CT scan and Ultrasound, I am not sure if they will believe me though or take me seriously. I am scared to go in.
Please help me.