Death is a popular subject for some, me included. Pay attention, Mairi, to CarrieAnn's suggestion to live your life. Believe it is the fear of living that can easily translate into something else.
CarrieAnn, your mom and I have a lot in common, cold feet, too many outfits (we enjoy), fear of how we get there, and the desire to be at home. However, I have a practical concern (you need not answer, of course) that refers to the legal culpability of the person standing by when the ailing person refuses treatment. There was a case in CA where a husband who followed his dying wife's wishes not to call anyone, was hauled off to jail. This worries me. Don't want the old boy in the slammer.