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Author Topic: Obsessions ruining my life  (Read 405 times)

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Offline paranoidandroid

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Obsessions ruining my life
« on: July 09, 2014, 08:17:20 PM »
It all started with HOCD 3 months ago.. which caused my obsessional thought and doubts to sky rocket! the HOCD was caused by trauma i encountered from a gay bully. HOCD was so severe few months ago where I couldn't function at all. whats really hard is I am an inspiring artist and my inspiration has always came from sexy women i had a always had a preference for asian women like my whole life... just what i always loved. now its like my OBsessive doubts are attacking everything i love. i don't know how to be an artist or a man anymore because all my inspirations just feel like I am faking now like that was my old life and obsessing over that now. and where my nerves and emotions are all out of whack i have been having crazy heaven and hell obsessions like if I'm not careful i will go to hell and be raped by men in hell if im not a good person through out life. and that sucks because i have always been competitive and trying to be perfectionist with everything. I just want my sexuality towards women to be full effect without all this mumbo jumbo in my brain.. i wish i could go back in time and stand up to that bully for ruining my life... i wish my HOCD was caused by my own doing vs some bully harassing me while i was working putting seeds in my head.. i think i would have gotten over this by now.. now i just feel like i have no idinity and no real happiness to pursuit.
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Offline nick260

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Re: Obsessions ruining my life
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2014, 12:10:04 AM »
Hey there, I have experienced OCD for about 6 years now. Not the kind that you are having, but I will do my best to help. Try and look deep down. The fact that you have this fear of being homosexual proves that you are not. You might not be able to see that yourself because the obsessive thoughts create a world inside your head that basically blinds you to the truth. Before this incident did you ever have obsessive thoughts about thinking about whether or not you are homosexual? No, you didn't, because you aren't homosexual and you still aren't homosexual. Nothing that the bully did truly changed you deep down. It might have caused some obsessive thoughts to arise on the surface, but you are still the same person deep down as you were before. You are who you are and no one can ever ever change that. Thoughts do NOT ever ever define the truth. They are simply a judgement that arises out of some discomfort, in this case fear. Accept that you are having these thoughts. Say, "This is okay, these thoughts are simply thoughts, they do not define reality." Sorry if this doesn't help, I'm dealing with my own obsessive fears right now which sometimes makes it hard to communicate. If you can answer a question I might be able to help you more, if you feel comfortable answering it. What kind of bullying was this? Did he tell you that you were gay or harass you sexually? Sorry if that's weird for me to ask, just trying to help. Also, are your obsessive thoughts focused on trying to prove to yourself that you aren't homosexual?
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Offline Never-Quit

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Re: Obsessions ruining my life
« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2014, 01:04:52 AM »
Hi paranoidandroid,

I just posted something regarding OCD and Intrusive Thoughts that may be helpful in dealing with your current situation:  It is very apparent that this is becoming a big issue for you from reading your post.

OCD with all its Intrusive Thoughts can truly be a nightmare as you mentioned.

Hope the post below helps:

Hi There  :action-smiley-065:

Whenever, I hear someone keeps having a disgusting and terrible thoughts that they would NEVER tell anyone, because they are so sick, disgusting or evil... - I already have a good idea where it is coming from....The worst part was : "Why I am thinking about these UGLY things?" ::)

They are known as OCD based - "INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS" - and yup, they occur in people that have Anxiety disorders...  Some are mild and will go away, others like the ones I had, needed medication - but they worked wonderfully for me.

Is this the ONLY Intrusive Thought that you have - or do you have others? Usually, you get one, and later you start to get more of these UGLY Intrusive Thoughts.

The Mayo Clinic describes "OCD- Intrusive Thoughts":
OCD obsessions are repeated, persistent and unwanted urges or images that cause distress or anxiety.

Obsessions often have themes to them, such as:
- Aggressive or horrific thoughts about harming yourself or others
- Unwanted thoughts, including aggression, or sexual or religious subjects
- Images of hurting yourself or someone else
- Thoughts about shouting obscenities or acting inappropriately
- Distress about unpleasant sexual images repeating in your mind


If you continue to have these "Intrusive Thoughts" to the point, where it is causing you great anxiety, you may want to do what I did, which was to find a Psychiatrist (they know all about this condition) - If they diagnose you with this OCD condition - and you feel it is interfering with your life - there are many wonderful medications the will eliminate these "Intrusive Thoughts" from constantly popping into your mind - no matter how hard you try to fight it   >:(

(SSRI's: Prozac, Paxil and Zoloft - are all FDA approved for OCD) and worked very well for me in STOPPING "INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS"  :yes:

I would recommend this book - to help you understand, and learn some mental strategies to help relieve your anxiety and understand the OCD brain chemical imbalance.  There are very few books, that I know of that deal specifically with OCD "Intrusive Thoughts" - but here it is:

Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts: How to Gain Control of Your OCD-David A. Clark , Christine Purdon

Most importantly, the book focuses on the fact that the person is not sinful- evil or bad for having these repugnant intrusive thoughts.

I Found this helpful review for this book on Amazon:

By L. H. on June 3, 2007

My boyfriend was diagnosed with OCD a little less than a year ago. While I found many books on OCD, and several written for family/friends of those with OCD, these books mainly focused on "visible" obsessions and compulsions (checking, washing, cleaning, rituals, etc.), rather than intrusive and obsessive thoughts, which is what he primarily suffers from.

This book was an AMAZING find, as it focuses ONLY on obsessive thoughts, and does a fantastic job at it. While it does give an overview of what OCD is, it does so with the assumption that the person reading suspects that they might have unhealthy obsessive thoughts, and that they are not yet diagnosed with OCD.

There are entire chapters dedicated each to repugnant obsessions (themes of harm, violence, and sex) and to religious obsessions, which in other books are not explained in depth at all. The book also gives methods to overcome the obsessive thoughts which are challenging but doable, and explains why other methods of "stopping" thoughts are ineffective and actually cause OCD to persist.

Most importantly, the book focuses on the fact that the person is not sinful- evil or bad for having these repugnant  intrusive thoughts.

This booked helped me to understand what my boyfriend is going through a million times better than any other book on OCD he or I have read, and he agrees that the book is right on track. I would recommend this book to anyone who is, or is close to, someone who struggles with obsessive thoughts. I can't stress my satisfaction enough!


 
Hope this information, Helps   :happy0151:

Let me know if you have any questions.. AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE !!! 
:action-smiley-065:



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Never, never, never give up. -Winston Churchill

“You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you."   ~ John Wooden

Offline ian

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Re: Obsessions ruining my life
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2014, 11:09:43 AM »
Pls advice me also..pla refer to my blog. My name is ian
 I really need advice too. Pls..
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Offline Never-Quit

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Re: Obsessions ruining my life
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2014, 03:21:47 PM »
Hi Ian....

Welcome....

Go to New Introductions and post a "hello"

And that you are a new member just joined.

So we can all welcome you and help answer any questions u may have...

Speak with you soon :action-smiley-065:
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Never, never, never give up. -Winston Churchill

“You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you."   ~ John Wooden

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