For some reason, 4 months ago, I started thinking about life's existence. Like why we are here, ect. I would continue to deep think, and then that caused really strong Depersonalization and Derealization. Then, every day I would wake up and start thinking about that weird feeling, and I got into this cycle where I felt weird so much that I felt strange *being alive*. I started feeling super-conscious and super-aware of my own existence, and I started asking myself these weird questions like am I really a human? Is life all a game? And then, I became a Solipsist! (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solipsism
) I became this for a week, and I had to pull myself out of this. I continued to think about these weird questions, and I got into a loop of: Feel weird, ask questions, freak out, feel upset because I am questioning life itself, feel weird, repeat. I feel like I have two lives... One life is when I'm distracted from these feelings and I feel normal, and the second life filled with anxiety and self-awareness. I feel dread when I think ahead, and it's almost like I hate being alive! But that's crazy! I feel trapped in my own body! But all of this goes away 100% when I'm distracted. It's insane because I feel like I have to be distracted from my own thoughts in order to live. Sometimes I am able to let these thoughts be... But that only lasts a day or two. No matter how much I tell myself that these are just thoughts, I can't STAND feeling afraid of being alive. I can't relax because I know that I have these problems to be worried about. Are these anxiety symptoms?
Thanks for reading. I needed to vent. Anyone else feel this way?