When you think no one understands ....read this.

[CaptCody]

Very well spoken, both hopefull and insightful.

[Homatek]

This is my first post on this forum...and the new wonderful symptom of feeling completely and utterly alone has begun to set into my life. I'm so glad there are people out there who are open and willing to talk about these things. I struggle to feel anything but ashamed that I can't "fit in" around "normal" people, and that it causes me so many problems. And I thank you, in this post for talking about meds in a good light....I still have a lot of stigmas against taking mine, because it makes me feel weak. So, thank you very very much for sharing with us.

I could not have said it better myself.
Thank you for this thread. It makes my day indeed.

[Dennismas]

I have suffered with gad for twenty years and I always saw it as a weakness but when I finally started talking to my friends and family about it I found out I was not alone and now I can discuss the good days and bad days and what meds work and the ones that don't with people I never thought had anxiety problems. This has made a big difference in my life, I'm still alone but I have hope.

[tigerpaw]

You may find some help in our live chat room!  You can enter there through the Forum Page.

[OnTheEdge]

i can only repeat what countless other have said....GREAT POST!

im really glad I found this place...

[denirig]

Thank you so  much for the words of encouragement and the reminder of scripture  I am new here and I am thankful I found this place.

[pointandclick1]

this is so how i feel sometimes too..not even doctors listen to you and it makes me feel so lonely. Bad enough none of my family understands. What meds did they give you that work? I have tried 4 different ones and they eighter knock me out all day or make me a zombie.

[tigerpaw]

Well, I take seroquel XR at night which cured my insomnia and during the day my bipolar/depression.

Although I have taken ssris in the past, in recent times they make my agitated and don't help at all the anxiety symptoms.

[DALINA]

   


 you're becoming my hero and I mean that, you always have something so powerfull to say.

[shanesgirl]

thank you so much for this post. i am new here and already isee hope!

[All Things Must Pass]

Take this from someone who's explored just about every intellectual persuit I ever came across. That includes courses in how not to be who I am. All the traditional Western psychology approaches. All the New Age philosophies. All the eastern practices and traditions.
You know what?  The one thing I learned was that everyone has another agenda and it has nothing to do with me and my problem.
What I've learned, that can either seem like the end of my world....like I have no hope or...
all those paths have something that's intrincically fallible.

I choose, intincically fallible.  Something in me says this is not me! (Who would have ever thought, the key to enlightment was to reject everything! )

Yet my despair took me to that place, of rejecting everything until I was left with nothing exect my fear. Who would ever have thought fear was my answer? Not me.

When I faced it, head on. When I called it to be the best it could be.....it disappeared, proving it was only just a figment of my mind's creation. Test it for yourself. Fear rules us, until we say "enough!!!!!


 

[tigerpaw]

From , All things must pass prior post: I choose, intrinsically fallible.  Something in me says this is not me! (Who would have ever thought, the key to enlightenment was to reject everything! )


"Enlightenment" is an eastern religious term, based on beliefs of an eastern religion.  Interesting that you feel that the key to "enlightenment" means to reject everything, because then you would reject the word, "enlightenment", because it is a religious term, from which a religion you have now rejected.

Fascinating!   

[Jorden_M]

Tiger....u need to write a book and send it to me...and my fiance requests a poem...but I have first dibbs... ;) in all seriousness....u have a SERIOUS way with words honey. I have read this so many times....its calming to me..thank you.

[glutengirl]

Tiger, that was awesome. It is nice to know that someone understands how I feel. I am high anxiety and pretty much have been for the last 28 years of my life. I live in Indiana and seek treatment through Community Health Network. And try to see my doctors regularly. I've learned to manage my anxiety...but it's never easy. There are always new tricks to dealing with anxiety and depression. I always try to remember that it is a SCIENCE and that something is chemically wrong with my brain...I'm not crazy or making the feelings up 

[All Things Must Pass]

I almost cried reading your post. It resonated with so many of my past experiences. All I ever wanted was for someone to really listen and not trivialise my experience or tell me what to do. Mostly , I needed someone to believe in me.

Looking back, I'm thankful my psych refused to give me meds.  Although I hated him for it at the time, his refusal was a statement of his belief in me when I couldn't believe in myself. Maybe stopped believing in what you're capable of?

[stacyannmo]

I am so glad I am not alone. I am new to this site and not sure exactly what I am looking for, mostly someone who understands. I decided I HAD to find something.  I just got over a MAJOR attack, and my in-laws are in town. It was so bad, I was ready to go to the hospital. Where do I go for like an actual chat room? Thank you!

[chrisdrd]

Thanks tiger.  You are a wordsmith. 
stacyannmo, about halfway up the page, above the info for this forum thread, near the left side, is a Chat now! link.

[eliane]

Oh thank you! That is exactly what I needed. I thought there were supposed to be "butterflies" too... and the fact is, it's still tough and kinda sucky at times, but yeah, my "friend the meds" and that awesome psychiatrist who first saw me, it's good to remember how far I've come.

[ups and downs]

Hi all, this is my long story fighting generalize anxiety, aute anxiety, depression for the past 10 years.

Year 1999, I came back to Thailand, my home, for a summer visit, as I was a student of Pepperdine University with half a semester to go.  That night at home, I had a an severe argument with my girlfriend.  She ended up crying, and I can't see her cry so I went to the bathroom to take a shower.

While talking the shower, I was guilty about making her cry.  It's always like this, after each fight, I feel guilty. I don't know why.  So I was feeling guilty and taking the shower.  Suddenly, this weird feeling (fear) came from nowhere and engulfed me.  I was so freaked out I had to rush out of the bathroom and lay on my bed.  I was shaking so hard and couldn't say a thing as I could not control my facial muscle.  I stuttered for most of the time.  The fear kept hitting me, sort of making fun of me. Every time it hit, I went speechless and fight with it, ended up more shaking and fear.  I thought I was going to go crazy. Finally it was gone.  I became so exhausted and fell sleep immediately. 

The next day was normal. I thought.'what the heck was that.' Later I learned it is Panic attack.

Few days later, I flew to Taiwan to visit some of my friends.  While at the bar, it happened again. I told me buddy, get me to a hospital asap (with salivas and ice falling through my mouth). At the hospital, doctor checked me, and gave me a shot to put me into sleep.  He said,"what you had is probably panic attack.

The next day I stayed at home while every one was outside.  About noon time, this evil thing started to hit me again.  So I take the med prescribed to me, take a tablet, and it immediately put me in a sleep state.  I took the plane home that night.

Back to Thailand, things are getting worse.  No only this panic attack can attack me anytime it wants, i also developed this anticipation which puts me under constantly state of anxious.  I talked to my elders about getting treatment here and only getting better then I go finish my last semester.  Answer is not! 

Back to my University, I went to the counselor, he just prescribed to me prozac, and tell me to look for this social worker to talk things out. 
Prozac was bad, I mean the short-term side effects.  Nightmare, elevated based line anxiety, etc. That social worker was an old lady, we talked once every week, she was the one who pulled me out of this mess.  She forced me to go yoga with her, and when I am having developed feeling she wanted me to run, run, run, until the endorphine kicks in.  In the mean time, I read a lot of books concerning my illness. 
With her, my last semester turn from no interest to clases, to finally Aces all.

The it is back to Thailand. working in families business.  I worked 12+hr days for a few months and built up my own sales team.  One time I walk into the office and anxiety attacked me.  I just let it flow though me, didn't even fight it.  When it's down. I told my manager that I need to get away from work to recover until I can work again.  They know I have anxiety problem, and all wish I would recover soon.

That's the first time I need a doctor's help.  My own method of relaxation technique and lifestyle can't help me cope with the job stress.  I went to Bungrumrad hospital.  I met doctor Spain.  He listened me for a half hour and he prescribed Lexapro and xanax as treatment.   I go home and all day i read, eat, sleep, etc.  The first week of treatment is very difficult to deal with.  Very high base line anxiety, and I use three xanax taken morning, noon, nighttime.  also Lexapro.  The body aches and very high level of anxiety(fear, worry, startle) are so hard to bear.  But after a few days of following doc's prescription, the high baseline of anxiety became low, and now waiting for Lexapro to take effect.

Writing all this is simple. Going through this is like going through hell.  I am lucky I researched and know a lot about this sickness.

And this happens on me at the frequency about once per year or once per 1.5 year

I am actually going though the recovering process now.  Last week was ok, but this week the condition deteriorated.  But know I will get better, just need some time.  I also jog at nigh, to burn off all the adrenaline that's hiding in my body.  While I was jogging at night moment ago, I thought about my jogging time in LA, exactly 10 years.  I said to myself, 'If i can get better every time, I will get well this time.'

Sometimes I ask myself, why me?  But then, I guess my gods wanted me this way.  To help me control my sometimes reckless behavior.....

[ese]

you have just told my story and I should imagine so many others!! Brillient! It really is like a big hug from cyber space!

[hkov]

tigerpaw - you have for years and will continue to be an inspiration to me.  thank you.  heather

[learningtogrow]

I couldn't have said this any better.  I wish the world of the non afflicted could read this and understand more of what we go through

[abeja_reina_1989]

Absolutely love this post! I wish I would have seen something like this when I really needed it. I'm so glad I found this site and I hope this helps a bunch of people out there. You are not alone.. you have people who care about you.. everything is going to get better.

If you ever need to talk, we are all here for you.

Message me anytime

[butterflies93]

Thank you!

[learningtogrow]

Great post Tiger.......I'm still trying tofind the right mix to make it all work.