When you think no one understands ....read this.

[sss]

Thank you for that, it truly means a lot to me 

[musicrhcplover]

thanks for this... for the first time in a long time i am crying because i feel hopefull rather than fearfull

[georgechristophe]

[georgechristophe]

[lizzie101]

thank you for this post, tiger. it does help to know somebody understands :)

[georgechristophe]

[Paisleegreen]

Hi George, what is your message to us that will help us.  I've been working on my anxiety w/o meds, the anxiety symptom of my gut pulsating or having spasms are going away, but I still get the pain in my gut in the wee hours of the night and in the morning. This probably is when the Temazepam wears off. But there was a time when after I first experienced my my first panic attack that nothing was keeping the increased "spasms" "waves" of my gut region from pulsating to a scary feeling that I would wake up screaming, if only a slight scary cry. I don't have those now, but still have an uncomfortable feelling in my gut and sadness.

I think about my situation during the night, I think of the past hurts and disappointments and weep over the pain. I feel better then and can sleep for a bit. Until my gut is no longer calm. Not that i think it was completely calm.  I resist the urge to test some Xanax to see if it would go away only to worry that I will become addicted and will have to go through the painful process of weaning off.

I write this in trying to understand what thoughts are causing my anxiety, as I have been on anti-depressants for 10 years went through some great disappointments, that I now feel the full effect of them. I'm thinking that I should feel these feelings and mourn my losses. Although, I don't feel I have a future like I did before my first panic attack.  Is wanting to cry okay now, does this mean I should be on anti-depressants?  The doorbell rings, and I jump or am startled. I know that is a part of anxiety. Right now I am in the freshest part of my anxiety w/o meds, so I calm myself by eating meals high in protein, the bare minimum of sugar and salt. No caffeine.

My husband is emptying the dishwasher, or moving dishes around. The clanging of them is so loud to me and disturbing. Sometimes my son or husband do this in the wee hours of the night and it drives me crazy! They have no idea the pain it gives me, even though I have commented to them once saying, "Does anyone sleep around here!" My son joked the next day to a friend about me "raging" when I said. No I wasn't in a rage, I was being assertive! As I haven't bee assertive and feel that my feelings don't count.

I don't want to control my household by all my "needs" for calmness, as they think they are helping. But I have already obliged them with being considerate while they sleep or allow them to talk business constantly and ignore my interests. You see we own a business and all the talk around the house for 20 years have been "the business" all decisions made or activities revolve around "the business".  I once had a break when my children were younger and they weren't in the business.
Or I had my dog to accompany me on road trips or walks in the park. He is no longer with me.

I guess I'm just writing down my thoughts here, hoping that you, George have more of an explanation that what I already know. I don't want to go on AD's due to the side effects. The anxiety symptoms aren't as painful as someone with cancer or other ailments, but I certainly would enjoy life a lot more if I could rid myself of them.   

All I know is that I do feel better at different times of the day and week, but use to feel pretty good everyday of the week and was productive. I feel that I'm not productive.                 So I'm asking George, how did you help yourself feel better?                        Paislee

[georgechristophe]

Paisleegreen,

    To begin withall anxiety disorders are a product of the way we think, I overcame my very severe disorder without any help from doctors or medication, after seeing a dozen or so doctors over the years, and many, many emegergency rooms the only clinical diagnosis was I was only suffering anxiety or panic attacks. I could never associate the words anxiety or panic with the symptoms and no doctor over the years could ever make that connection for me. Did you read my last post, it pretty much explains how anxiety disorder affects us.
      Severe apprehension, panic attacks, agoraphobia, avoidance, are all different forms of anxiety, and about seventy percent of anxiety sufferers also have a problem with depression! All I can do is recount what I've learned over the years from my experiences, unfortunately we who have problems with anxiety also affect our families, and any family members who are normal can never understand
how badly anxiety affects us. What you decribe to me as a scary feeling in your gut sounds like severe apprehension that you can have all day without understanding the reason for it. Let me make an important point, every minute you spend or dwell on you worry or past disapointment is just another minute that perpetuates your anxiety. Dont ever expect understanding from you family they can never know what you are experiencing, if you get it consider yourself lucky!
     You may feel left out of everything which may add to your stress, If you do not have a place in your home that you can get away from
the stressful nature of you envirement try to find somewhwere to be alone or with a friend, that you can enjoy a pleasent situation
other than you might find at home. Something important to consider; Do not take your problems to bed when you retire, listen to a radio
to help get you mind off things! Find something to keep your mind fully occupied, When your mind is fully occupied its impossible to experience any kind of anxiety symptoms! Don't you have a friend who you can walk with, and why can't you be productive again, do you have a problem that keeps you from being active?
     You sound like your left out and sad, Paisleegreen you have to do it yourself, no one is going to do it for you! Get up and get going and Stop, stop, stop, feeling sorry for yourself, you did it once and you can do it again, be productive!
     Please read my earlier post, it covers some of the things that concern you,
 Paisleegreen, have you seen a doctor recently, not a bad idea!

George Christophe

[ohaithrashley]

I am 19 years old, diagnosed with GAD and depression, and I have been feeling like I'm crazy for months now. My parents don't understand-- they've just called me psychotic and told me to calm down. My boyfriend is sympathetic and supportive, but he doesn't understand why I act the way I do... I don't even understand sometimes. And my doctor... she's just ridiculously unhelpful, I feel like. She gives me meds that I am convinced won't work and rushes me so she can get to her next patient. But your post has given me so much hope that I am not crazy and other people are also like me. Thank you so much.

[georgechristophe]

Ohaithrashley,

     Look take a break, your not crazy and aprox. 70% of people with anxiety disorder experience some type of depression! So let me tell you something, if your parents are calling you psychotic they should consult a good doctor! If you ever talk about your symptoms to a
so called normal person they would think your telling a joke or consider you completly mad, explaining what you are feeling to a normal person is a futile effort and that includes your boyfriend because he will never understand! I went through a dozen doctors over the years and finally came to the conclusion that their all the same, their problem is that their unable to see anxiety in its different forms from the patients side and consequently are only able to give a clinical diagnosis, but believe me the two are not the same! The only reason your doctor rushes you is because she is unable to give you the answers that you need, meds can be helpful sometimes but they are not the answer as far as I'm concerned. Medication is only a way of helping you cope sometimes, but coping is not recovering! There are millions of people who are affected by anxiety disorder, but you are lucky your young and can recover very quickly! Try to understand that we have an obsession with ourselves and that is our Achilles heel, we are overly concerned about our symptoms  and that only makes things worse.
     What we all suffer from is a very bad habit that becomes obsessive, whether you have severe apprehention or panic attacks or any of the other forms of anxiety, all the symptoms are the same for everybody only the triggers are vary. I'm an older person who recovered many years ago but things dont change when it comes to anxiety disorder. This problem goes back as far as memory serves when people were in the closet with this disorder. This is a quotation from a book;  (We deceive ourselves into thinking we are victims of some mysterious thing called anxiety disorder, a mental abberation that causes fearful anxiety and terrifying panic attacks for millions of unsuspecting people.The apprehension, anxiety and fear associated with these disorders, are a product of the way we think! )

    There is nothing wrong with you as the millions who have recovered can attest to, the large majority recover as they were affected, without being cognitive of how or why it all began or ended!

 Listen to yourself and not the people around you, they will never understand, there worn out answer usually is, it's all in your head!
If you would care to give me a little mor info on your symptoms, maybe I can give you some answers?

George Christophe

[Paisleegreen]

Hi George--Since I've come over from MWC, many don't know all my story.  I am seeing a Psychologist who named my disorder as GAD. Which is just a round a bout way of naming my anxiety or reaction to an action my 19 year old son did while I was on vacation last spring. Which was that he packed up all my belongings in our family room and turned this room into a Media room.   A visitor just showed up...gotta go!       

[Paisleegreen]

Hi George--Since I've come over from MWC, many don't know all my story.  I am seeing a Psychologist who named my disorder as GAD. Which is just a round a bout way of naming my anxiety or reaction to an action my 19 year old son did while I was on vacation last spring. Which was that he packed up all my belongings in our family room and turned this room into a Media room.   A visitor just showed up...gotta go!       

I'm finishing this up. Does this place have an edited button? 

Anyway, along with packing up my stuff, he got rid of some bookshelves and pack up books as well as a shelving unit that I was fond of and that disappeared, I think to the dump. He could have put it anywhere on our property like other items people keep here. I was very upset, I had agreed to packing up some of my stuff but totally rearranging the whole room and furniture.  I was pretty shocked and upset. I mourned the loss of this room and the plans I had for it. I mourned the loss of the relationship I thought I had with this son. I also had been weaned off of anti-depressants for 2 months so I experienced some anxiety while on my trip that was new to me, it was a road trip where I did all the driving.

Well, after that evening the next morning I saw a 3 page note from my son where he expressed all his feelings about how he feels about me and what he went through missing his older brother who had committed 0119 years prior while this son was in grade school. I waited til morning to show my husband.  I later showed it to a different Psychologist than the one I was seeing that helped me feel so much better that I was able to wean off of AD's.  Anyway, he asked if this son would come in to talk with him, he did. Then the next thing I know, I'm told by my Dr that I needed to get rid of a bunch of stuff and not go on with my plans to have a plant grower's nursery that I planned on making into a business.

The Dr continued to tell me how he is going to help me get rid of stuff and mourn the loss of it. He claimed that I started "collecting" or having many hobbies to deal with my grief or the loss of my son by having "compulsive" behavior " in starting projects or have so many of them. So that night I went home and thought all night long about what am I suppose to get rid of,  does this mean I can't grow plants, ever? Does this mean I can't finish my koi pond? That I can't sew quilts? I ruminated over it during the night.

Then after having a massage, later I was given a Soma, then I took my Restoril and I was in such a relaxed state that I thought I was going to faint and then I had my first panic attack. This was the beginning of me being unproductive and scared. I was put on medication that caused me to be more tired and unproductive until my regular Psychiatrist helped me to wean off the Beta Blockers and I weaned off the Remeron later.  I felt "frozen" in what I could do now in my home and yard. It was taken over by my son and his friends.

It was after I met with a new and modern Psychologist that understands medication and got rid of the "hoarding" label and labeled me as having GAD and brought in my husband to work on my "problems" as I felt he was my main problem. Much of this you don't know of since I posted on MWC, but this DR helped me work through my anxiety and has been very helpful. We still see him twice a month and he feels that if we don't change things, our marriage isn't going to last. So he has helped me to understand my thinking process and explain it to my husband.  He also told me that my son won't be in my house forever so to let things be on that issue. I'll soon get my downstairs back to myself soon enough.

So I've been happy about things since that first shock of finding my things packed up. It through me off, I had plans and now all of my stuff was boxed up with no labels on them. So everything as I knew it was "gone" so to speak. I gave up gardening or at least the business part of it for now. I let go of my fish ponds except for one. I've let go of expectations of the future. I'm more scared of it. 

I do  volunteer work and was doing it before the "downstairs" experience and that is what partly helped me to wean off of Wellbutrin. I increased my volunteer work, so I'm not home all the time. I just don't have the same interests or goals as my husband. I'm also considered an "empty nester".  Pretty much my job of caretaking or childrearing has ended, and one son I didn't get to finish with him moving out at the normal age children leave home.

So all my "nurturing" of animals, fish, plants also was cut back as well and I've turned my energies into helping others. I'm still "frozen" in my own home and yard as I feel apprehension at what I'm allowed to do in or on it. I'm not backed by my husband much as he is a pleaser in some ways. I have to be the one that says, "No." on sales phone calls. He's been manipulated by many people and some of our employees. My children get upset with him, but then he is useful for their needs if they have a complaint about me.  DH has the say in our business and most of the money, so there has been some contention in his decisions.

So George, I have seen several Drs. I haven't seen my Med Dr for while cuz he is sickly. But I get my Restoril refilled and I'm not taking any AD's and I don't want to if I can eliminate anxiety symptoms. Which are pretty eliminated today after I worked in my yard outside in the warm sunshine, which is gone today.

I appreciate all your comments and your suggestions. So if you can help me work out my thoughts, which Lucinida Bassett's  CDs and Dr David Burns Good Mood Therapy book has helped me with in the past, that would be great. I just am not on AD's anymore, so I feel things more.   Paislee

[tigerpaw]

It has a MODIFY button at the bottom.

[georgechristophe]

Paisleegreen,

It seems your husband and son are piling things on and making you feel irrelivant only because they don't understand your problem
or don't really care, the anxiety you feel is not being helped by either of them! At this point they may just consider you a giant-pain -in-the a_ _  and can't be bothered with the way you feel. Your surroundings from the way it sounds is not condusive to you reducing the stress in your life, this happens to many of us with this disorder! Our families get fed up with our needs and behavior so they have no way of understanding what were going through, changing you enviorment would be helpful, but as you make it sound thats out of the question unles your financialy independent!

Best Regards,
George Christophe

[Paisleegreen]

I wrote on here and it didn't post, I'm testing.

[Paisleegreen]

Thanks, George. I had written a post here and it didn't post. So I'll try later. In what way do you think it would cost a lot of money to change my environment?

[georgechristophe]

Paisleegreen,

Get away for awhile, get out of the house and visit a friend or relative for a few days, leave the stress behind! taking meds to cope is
no way to recover

George Christophe

[Paisleegreen]

I only take Restoril to help me sleep. My husband snores. I'm off of my Anti-depressants.

[breakingthehabit__]

There was a time my parents thought I was making my anxiety up. They thought I was being bullied etc but I couldnt get them to understand what I was going through until years later.
I'm glad there are other people out there who know what its like.

[georgechristophe]

    To all with anxiety disorder, (including) panic attacks, avoidance, agoraphobia, depression, fear of being alone, fear of losing your mind,
fear of having a heart attack, and associating any other ailment with this disorder etc. and all the other symptoms brought on by anxiety,
Heart beating rapidly, can't get a breath, being light headed and feeling faint, sure your going crazy, pins and needles in your extremities,
and everything else!!!

    If you have been diagnosed by a doctor with having anxiety disorder, this is something for you to consider seriously! Ask yourself if you know what  the words anxiety disorder really mean?

    Its the inability to keep from dwelling on and anticipating fearful situations that you expect will or may happen without a basis or reason,  the intensity of fear gradually builds to keep us from normal behavior or inducing panic attacks! ( this is a loose explanation of this disorder)
This explanation is what I never had during the years of my anxiety disorder, not knowing why I had those frightening symptoms was the
only reason that kept me from understanding what I  was suffering from and prolonged my recovering!

The only explanation I was ever given from any doctor or emergency room over the years was, ( you just had an anxiety attack or ( you just had a panic attack) a clinical diagnosis that meant absolutely nothing to me. I couldn't associate those words with my symptoms.
 Somehow they had belittled my terrifying symptoms and brushed off my bewildering panic with the words they used!

I hope these few words give you an insight of what you are suffering and give you a reason to recover, believe me, change the way you think and what you think about and change you life! Stop thinking you are sick with a mental disorder, whether your symptoms are mild or
severe stop thinking about the way you always feel and get on with life! IF YOU WANT TO BE NORMAL, ACT NORMAL !!!

George Christophe

[tigerpaw]

George,

You are going down a road of which your kind hearted advise is more your opinion than medical fact.

Quote "IF YOU WANT TO BE NORMAL, ACT NORMAL !!!" This is really harsh, and you may have missed the original posts intent!

Quote "taking meds to cope is no way to recover"......That's just not true in SO mant cases.

I have a bipolar disorder. It wasn't what I did nor what I can walk away from, it is a medical fact based on chemical imbalances in my brain. I take seroquel and it has made my life easier to manage to a point that I can function normally.

I know you mean well, however, try and be more open to the other side of the equation, which Tough Love does not work.

Thanks

Tig

[georgechristophe]

[georgechristophe]

[Carryon]

Tigerpaw,

Let me ad a post script to my original post, after the years that I suffered with terrible anxiety and thousands of panic attacks, frightening avoidance of the world around me and agoraphobia of the worst kind, if I can help others avoid the same pitfalls that I experienced  just as I have been doing for the past thirty years, I will. There is a simple common sense solution to this disorder although
doing it is a little more difficult , but what is the alternative, a life filled with  fear and bewilderment! All it takes is belief and conviction to end the symptoms! Change the way you think and what you think about and change your life !! Please excuse the harshness of my tone in my previous post!

George Christophe

I am not bipolar; nor do I have a health anxiety. So what you have said has been your miracle cure, that  has alluded medicine for decades, does not offend me personality, as it does others, but it does offend my sensibilities. If the cure is so obviously applied to others, why haven't you published a book on it  or set up shop helping others; you could make buckets of money.

In short, give the people here substantiated facts; anything less is an anecdote, not worth the paper it's printed on, no better than the fairy tales found Googling.

[Grandma]

Hi georgechristophe -

Bipolar disorder is not an anxiety disorder.  It is a mood disorder, as is depression.  This is only one of the things that you assert, but clearly do not know.

I'm happy for you that you have been able to overcome your anxiety with your "proven" method.  However, to say that anyone who really tries can do the same, is demeaning to those of us who must rely on medications to correct the chemical imbalances - established science, whether you accept it or not - in our brains.

There was a saying back in the day - "If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?"

I don't know if people still say that, but if they don't, this is an instance where they should.

I'm with carryon on this one.

Grandma