Most people spend all year looking forward to Vacations where they go away, I dread them like some people would dread surgery. I can do day trips knowing that by the end of the day I'll be back in my own bed, in my 'safe space' if you will. But knowing that I'll be away from my home, everything familiar, and all my 'safe spaces' for a couple of days always makes me worry. The last time I spent more than a day from home it was two years ago, before that it was at least a couple of years. I panic thinking about what I'm going to do if I get dizzy or light headed. A fear that I'm going to cause the people I'm with (friends or family) to not have a good time or not be able to enjoy themselves because of me feeling sick or whatever. In less then two weeks I'm going about 5 hours away for a little more than a weekend. I'm going to be forced to be in situations that I know are going to be a trigger for anxiety like needing to take public transportation (subway, etc.) meeting people I've never met before and having to stay in their house, being at a concert a really big venue, etc. Not to mention it's the summer and I just don't do well in heat. I always kept saying I was going to cancel but then last month I realized I really can't cancel it at this point, so now every day all day I'm worrying about these four days. Cancelling would let someone I care about down. So I'm still acting like I'm looking forward to it. What I'm looking forward to is the relief I'll feel on the way home when it's all over. I hate living like this, I used to look forward to vacations like anyone else would. I'm curious if others on here have issues with having to stay away from home or what people do to help when they're away to keep them from going into Panic Attack mode. In the fall I'm also going to be forced to stay away from home twice. I'm hoping that by then though the combination of therapy and new medication will be helping. Hopefully.