Well, I'm new here. My name is Timothy Martin and I live in North Carolina. I am 28 years old and have a fiance that has been far more than supportive of my issues. I'm an undiagnosed agoraphobe, and it has landed me as a homebound person for the past year. I have only left our home once in that year, and that was an ambulance trip to the hospital, in which I was actually forced to go. I am getting more and more depressed about my life, and my suicidal thoughts are starting to get the better of me, and although I feel like I have the will power to never act on those thoughts and impulses, I'm afraid that that will power is waning, and that it is going to end up pushing my fiance out of my life. I think that I started this journey to agoraphobia at my brothers wedding, and truly believe, that it "left a bad taste in my mouth." Ever since that day, and including that day, whenever I left home, or went outside, if I didn't have water with me, I was get sick. About a year later, with this condition still existing but not getting the better of me, my brother, best friend, and I went a got a tattoo. I had recently lost about 100 pounds, wasn't eating reguarly and was sick the day of; that said, I totally passed out after the tattoo, when I stood up. Anyways, ever since that day, I would have panic attacks whenever I left home. After finally moving out of my parents home and my fiance and I got us our own place, it started going even more downhill. I was able to go outside and check the mail, panic free; or cut the grass, panic free. I'm not sure what gave, but at some point or another, my panic attacks started hitting me whatever I did, and now, I have to stay inside in order to feel safe. Because I'm undiagnosed, I don't have disability either. I'm here in hope of help, in both mental support and potential advice on what I can do. As of now, it seems that the only way that I can get help, in the area that I'm in, is to actually go to a therapists, which just isn't going to happen. I mean, I've been sick for over five weeks now, still sick as I type this, and I still can't talk myself into going to the hospital. I'm hoping that this helps me, because talking about this with my fiance brings her to tears.