valley, you've been a member here for longer than me. I am going to be direct now: You jump from fear to fear. You monitor each and every sensation you have and you make it into a big bad thing. That is the definition of a person with health anxiety. Sir, as hard as it is, you are going to have to get REALLY serious about changing your thinking habits. You are going to seriously need to change the way you deal with your stress in your life. UNTIL you do, you are going to live in fear.
Going to be direct again
: anxiety doesn't get better by swallowing a pill alone (or at all for some). It takes abandoning the reactive habits--googling, seeking endless reassurance via family/friends/forums/medical docs, self checking/self testing, monitoring (looking for body issues). AND it takes picking up PROACTIVE habits LONG term---not for a day or two or giving up when you get scared.
some are listed below
1. Therapy---meds if you and your doctor feel it is appropriate---everybody is different on this issue. but don't discount meds because you are afraid of them or think that meds are only for "weak" people. Remember the BEST therapist isn't a miracle worker. therapy is a two-way street. The client MUST participate and I don't just mean going in and unloading on the therapist. A therapist is there to listen, true, but the therapist is there to challenge and get you to do things to aid in your recovery. So the client must do the "homework" to get the most out of therapy.
2. self-help books--lots of good stuff out there these days ---Claire Weekes has good books out there that explain how it all works. One is Hope and Help for Your Nerves I read "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck many years ago. He speaks to people in a variety of ways. He has a few other books too.
3. Exercise---even if you don't want to. At first you are likely to feel miserable and panicky feelings are likely to bubble up OR rush at you. It is due to the over abundance of adrenaline (fight/flight) in your body. Stress/Anixety is tough on a body. But do it anyway.
4. While this isn't a magic pill, eat a healthy diet. This helps on all kinds areas of your life.
5. Forums often have helpful advice.
6. Hobbies--anything that completely immerses you in it and keeps you occupied. This helps because eventually you'll get snippets of time when you feel good. These are teaching moments because then you know it is obsessions/anxiety mucking with you. After a while those snippets turn to hours then days etc.
7. Don't pity yourself. You can have a happy life. As we experience life, we change. Having any form of anxiety will impact your life just like all life experiences do. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Even once you are on the road to recovery, you will have a 'new' normal but that doesn't mean you aren't happy and fulfilled.
8. Lots of people find meditation helpful.
REMEMBER: bottom line it is up to YOU to fix this.