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Author Topic: Low self esteem, crazy brain. Please advise.  (Read 76 times)

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Offline Kt94

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Low self esteem, crazy brain. Please advise.
« on: July 04, 2014, 01:59:39 PM »
This is the first time I've ever used something like this and I'm almost afraid to be doing so.
I know this question isn't directly to do with my anxiety disorder, but I believe it's a manifestation!
I have an anxiety disorder, ocd and depression. I've recently had stage 3 cognitive behavioural therapy which has helped tremendously with my attitude towards anxieties and how to cope.
But there's one thing I can't seem to budge..

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years now. And he's gone on his best friends stag do today for the weekend. There's 14 of them in total, with a few coming and going throughout the weekend. They're all in relationships, some are married and most have children (which is reassuring).

I just can't stop thinking that I'm not good enough for him, or that he'll find some body better. I keep having horrible thoughts of him and other women. And it's really upsetting.

One minute I'm ok, and then a thought comes into my head (mostly of women getting they're breasts out for him! or occasionally him kissing them in the way he kisses me, or holds them how he holds me) my heart sinks, I feel so angry and I almost start to feel possessive. It feels so real, like it's actually happened or that he would treat me in that way.

I can't bare the thought of him with someone else!

He's said 'I love you' twice today, and said he'd see me when he gets back.

I don't know if it's the fear of the unknown? Or because I doubt my self worth.
I can't express how much this is affecting me. Please if you have any advice or reassurance it'd be greatly appreciated.

Thankyou.
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Offline howifeel

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Re: Low self esteem, crazy brain. Please advise.
« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2014, 08:53:23 PM »
Sounds like your feelings are pretty normal. Most guys, I think, know that wives or gf will worry about "the other woman." Guys worry about "the other man" sometimes, but don't really make it noticeable. I think the clock starts ticking on the end of the relationship when that normal worry becomes accusations.
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