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Author Topic: Goodbye  (Read 660 times)

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Offline redapples

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Re: Goodbye
« Reply #15 on: July 03, 2014, 12:47:14 AM »
you went to the doctor yesterday and she told you in no uncertain that you didn't have rabies.

this is a prime example of why reassurance--from family, friends, internet forums AND professional medical opinions---doesn't work.  It doesn't solve anxiety disorders.  Reassurance to a person with HA, is like crack to an addict.  It feels good when you get some, like a high.  But like an addict, the "high" wears off and soon your are looking for another round of reassurance.

As I told you yesterday---  when a person is so sucked into irrational thinking, like you are,  there is NO PIIECE of information, or logic or reassurance that will make any difference.   

Regarding medication:  that is but one tool to getting better.  To gain long term solace, you are going to have to employ many tools.

I have to agree with six-pack here. It seems that you got your answer yesterday but today it is no longer good enough. No matter how much we reassure you, or your doctor or anyone else does, it is not enough.
If we continue to reassure you over and over, then we become enablers and that is not good for you or for us.

Meds is but one tool, there are so many others that you must put into your toolbox. This forum is chock full of helpful tools....I'm new here since last week and I've added many useful tools to my toolbox.

By continuing to feed your irrational thinking, it is just like going around in a circle...imagine being on a bus that keeps going in a circle and the door never opens and you can't get out.

I think you have to get out of your head...go to the store and buy that toolbox, fill it with tools and begin to build yourself and your recovery.
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Offline Smalm

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Re: Goodbye
« Reply #16 on: July 03, 2014, 01:17:38 PM »
Redapples, not long ago I did have tools called: my dad, theraphy, my cat, walking, and always a tool to me, Anxietyzone  :yes: But then my dad gave up trying and calls every fear of mine "bull****", I was in theraphy which was a major help but then the school year ended and I'm on vacation... The only reason I still question the nature of my right hand is that it's just not feeling like a pinched nerve for my fingertips don't tingle but the other side of my fingers tingle, they just feel off, a weird feeling radiates down my fingers, and having my left hand tingle for a few years the tingling is just confined to my fingertips for my left hand but not my right hand, this is why I live in fear, because my left hand is just not feeling like a pinched nerve to me for just my thumb is infested withthe tingling and if I type my other fingers don't really tingle... My cat is a reasurence for having a cat makes my anxiety go to an all time low and what I can say about that is that my cat isn't here with me so it's odd to sleep alone without a purring cat kneeding into my shoulders and waking me up at the same time each and every day.  :( I'm going to try to take the medication at the night so that I actually get sleep for the slight headache and insomnia was annoying me and I had to take a nap. I really am sorry if you view me as a "reassurance" addict, but it's hard to be a teenager and to have anxiety topped with all the life struggles like good grades, and friendships. Health anxiety really does take a toll for it's really hard for me to eat, almost purgent which is hard for me for I'm going to get grounded if I don't eat... i really hate it , I guess it's easy to say I feel like a cat in a dogs body, it's not right and for that reason I don't feel right. I just guess I've given up trying to be strong and happy for others like my dad, he pats for not getting me meds or into theraphy big time, by me asking him the same thing each and every time.  :laugh3: I will try to be myself, mabye I just need a higher dose of meds, but if this dose is making me have a headache then i don't want to know what a higher dose will do to me, and not to mention insomnia  :spineyes:. My pointer finger and thumb now tingle on my right hand from typing and I feel that it's a pinched nerve, must be just a diffrent type or place like my elbow for it ONLY tingles when I'm typing...as for my left hand it always tingles. also if I shake my right hand the weird feeling radiates down my whole fingers for my right hand, and just my fingertips for my left hand... I just don't feel like a human right now, mostly because I literally live off of air, I find it hard to eat, but easy to drink lots of water... This may be part of the reason I feel un-human. I reallydon't know where to turn anymore and find that my world is once again my head is caving in. I just fear the weird tingling, like at the base of my thumb, a few places on my arm, I guess I just need a higher dose of medication and something to make my appetite come back, mabye with more food I'll feel more human but withthe medication my appetiteis zero.
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On medication, which is doing great! I love the major improvements it has made for me and he people around me for when I have anxiety I make others suffer, but not anymore!

Offline redapples

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Re: Goodbye
« Reply #17 on: July 04, 2014, 04:36:40 PM »
Redapples, not long ago I did have tools called: my dad, theraphy, my cat, walking, and always a tool to me, Anxietyzone  :yes: But then my dad gave up trying and calls every fear of mine "bull****", I was in theraphy which was a major help but then the school year ended and I'm on vacation... The only reason I still question the nature of my right hand is that it's just not feeling like a pinched nerve for my fingertips don't tingle but the other side of my fingers tingle, they just feel off, a weird feeling radiates down my fingers, and having my left hand tingle for a few years the tingling is just confined to my fingertips for my left hand but not my right hand, this is why I live in fear, because my left hand is just not feeling like a pinched nerve to me for just my thumb is infested withthe tingling and if I type my other fingers don't really tingle... My cat is a reasurence for having a cat makes my anxiety go to an all time low and what I can say about that is that my cat isn't here with me so it's odd to sleep alone without a purring cat kneeding into my shoulders and waking me up at the same time each and every day.  :( I'm going to try to take the medication at the night so that I actually get sleep for the slight headache and insomnia was annoying me and I had to take a nap. I really am sorry if you view me as a "reassurance" addict, but it's hard to be a teenager and to have anxiety topped with all the life struggles like good grades, and friendships. Health anxiety really does take a toll for it's really hard for me to eat, almost purgent which is hard for me for I'm going to get grounded if I don't eat... i really hate it , I guess it's easy to say I feel like a cat in a dogs body, it's not right and for that reason I don't feel right. I just guess I've given up trying to be strong and happy for others like my dad, he pats for not getting me meds or into theraphy big time, by me asking him the same thing each and every time.  :laugh3: I will try to be myself, mabye I just need a higher dose of meds, but if this dose is making me have a headache then i don't want to know what a higher dose will do to me, and not to mention insomnia  :spineyes:. My pointer finger and thumb now tingle on my right hand from typing and I feel that it's a pinched nerve, must be just a diffrent type or place like my elbow for it ONLY tingles when I'm typing...as for my left hand it always tingles. also if I shake my right hand the weird feeling radiates down my whole fingers for my right hand, and just my fingertips for my left hand... I just don't feel like a human right now, mostly because I literally live off of air, I find it hard to eat, but easy to drink lots of water... This may be part of the reason I feel un-human. I reallydon't know where to turn anymore and find that my world is once again my head is caving in. I just fear the weird tingling, like at the base of my thumb, a few places on my arm, I guess I just need a higher dose of medication and something to make my appetite come back, mabye with more food I'll feel more human but withthe medication my appetiteis zero.


Smalm...sorry I just found your post here.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply you are a reassurance addict. Please accept my apology. Perhaps I need to learn a bit more about HA, because I don't have it. (I do have OCD, though, and thought perhaps the thought process was similar...perhaps it is not. Again, I am sorry.) Forgive me?

That sucks about your dad no longer being a tool in your toolbox.
And.....when will you be reunited with your cat? I know how calming they are because I've got 4 of them :yes:

And how is your appetite now?

Did you sleep well last night?

Fireworks today!?? :yes: :winking0008: :spineyes:
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Offline Smalm

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Re: Goodbye
« Reply #18 on: July 04, 2014, 05:42:56 PM »
The thought process is WAY different with HA for no matter how many doctors tell us we are fine we deny their answer and think that we still have something wrong with us and will die or be miserably impaired with it. I accept your apology!  ;D. I just hate it so badly the stereotypes that my parents have around other people that have anxiety, for once my dad's girlfriend said "Stop with the sob stories." and I could have punched her teeth out right there, I have ANXIETY and it's no sob story it's a real thing that affects me each and every day... This is why I love vacation... not having to be around people that think my anxiety is an excuse. Sorry for my ranting   :spineyes: I will be reunited with my cat in August when I go home, there is a dog here but she doesn't like me so much she clings to one person, my aunt.  I drank cold peppermint tea with nothing in it and now I have a hunger que I'm very happy for this for I just don't know why, peppermint tea always works for me!  :bigsmile: I slept SO well Just woke up once at 4:00AM but was so tired that I fell back asleep and slept until about 10 Am. Yep lots and lots of fireworks! I got one called "Highway to Hell" which I'm exited to light off later tonight  :happy0151:   
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On medication, which is doing great! I love the major improvements it has made for me and he people around me for when I have anxiety I make others suffer, but not anymore!

Offline redapples

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Re: Goodbye
« Reply #19 on: July 04, 2014, 06:01:50 PM »
I'm learning from you, Smalm.  :party0006: :party0006:

Thanks for accepting my apology.  :sign006

Rant away. Writing is therapeutic - at least for me!

So you're on vacation? Are you out of the state that you live in? I'm glad you'll be back with your cat in August. She/he probably misses you as much as you mis him/her.

Funny that you mention peppermint tea working for your hunger. Peppermint tea is known to stimulate the appetite! Glad you slept well and are getting ready to fire off some 'works later!!! Too bad you can't post movies or videos here. That would be cool to see.
 :yes: :yes: :yes:
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Offline totallyphobic

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Re: Goodbye
« Reply #20 on: July 04, 2014, 06:05:41 PM »
Smalm

I have read every single post you have written and believe me I know exactly where you are coming form. At my worst with this phobia I felt the same way you are now. I was constantly scared and looking for reassurance that I did not have rabies. Believe me I would spend a typical day on the phone first with my local health department, then my Doctor, My therapist and the CDC . a bit much wouldn't think?. The point  I am making is some people think this is a sob story or attention seeking but I went through this before I found this beautiful site. Anxiety is a horrible thing to have and since you are so young I get the pressure you have and the isolating feeling it gives you and having no support is rough I know been there done it since my teens and I am now in my 50's. You can PM me as much as you want I will listen and I do care.
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Offline Smalm

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Re: Goodbye
« Reply #21 on: July 04, 2014, 06:11:01 PM »
Thank you totallyphobic!  :yes: and redapples, I didn't know that peppermint tea was to help the appetite until now, but I've been eating it or drinking it ever since my anxiety started. Yeah I'm in Utah not the rainy great Northwest  :laugh3:. Yeah my cat only loves me for I am basically the only one that does her chores, and the ONLY one that feeds her tuna and believe me my cat throws the happiest and cutest fit whenever she smells tuna!  :yes: I will have a fun time with the fireworks  :party0006:
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On medication, which is doing great! I love the major improvements it has made for me and he people around me for when I have anxiety I make others suffer, but not anymore!

Offline Lunatone

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Re: Goodbye
« Reply #22 on: July 04, 2014, 06:13:48 PM »
I can trick myself into thinking ive taken an overdose of medicine. I will stand there, take the normal dose, and then think to myself "Wait, did I already take it before? Oh god I did!" and then I get symptoms that would be very similar to overdose. I tested this and can even do it when the only dose i have is the correct one.

Anxiety is funny like that. Not funny, horrible, but you know. Anyway if you do die, can I have your stuff?
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Offline Smalm

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Re: Goodbye
« Reply #23 on: July 04, 2014, 06:22:13 PM »
HAHAHA!!!!!!!! Lunatone hell no if I die my aunts, uncles, and cat will inherit my things  :laugh3: hahaha! almost forgot my dad. Lunatune i did the same thing the other night for two days ago I took one at 8AM and it lasted until 8AM the next day and then I took one later at 10PM and I thought I got it wrong and would have died.. but after i took thise meds i was so happy I was laughing at everything, my medication makes me so happy, almost too happy if such a thing exists!  :laugh3:
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On medication, which is doing great! I love the major improvements it has made for me and he people around me for when I have anxiety I make others suffer, but not anymore!

Offline Ihadcancer

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Re: Goodbye
« Reply #24 on: July 04, 2014, 06:29:05 PM »
Quote
Many people wonder what bat bites look like. For most common bats, bat bites do not have the appearance of Dracula-type fang marks. The most common bats that humans might encounter are the brown bats, and their teeth are extremely sharp. However, because their teeth are so small, most bites do not appear as bites at all.

Bat teeth can scratch exposed skin or they can puncture the skin, but the bite resembles the appearance of a pin prick if it is visible at all.

Smalm,  I'm WAY older than you and I get bumps on my skin quite often now that will tingle.  They usually turn into a sun spot a few days later but I do understand the tingling sensation on your arm.  Lots of skin 'things' will start off as a tingle. Shingles, is one.  Sweat dermatitis, heat rash, folliculitis,  allergies, eczema or scabies bites are a few more. 

To Lunatone,  I write down the time I take my meds as soon as I takeit out and lay it in front of me on the counter so I KNOW I haven't overdosed or skipped (anxiety) pill. 

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Offline Smalm

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Re: Goodbye
« Reply #25 on: July 04, 2014, 06:31:04 PM »
I have allergies so that may explain it  :laugh3:
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On medication, which is doing great! I love the major improvements it has made for me and he people around me for when I have anxiety I make others suffer, but not anymore!

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