I always post about myself, ask insights lol. So I want to give back to this community. I have to say, however, that going on forums is not always the best idea long term because people could discourage you from things that could actually help. Many people go through mental illness and distress, so going on this site is good if you use it the right way. My doctor said the danger of online forums is the inaccurate information and some negativity.
You are not alone, it's hard having anxiety episodes and depression etc. I wasn't diagnosed with bipolar until the past few months or so and let met tell you, it's amazing when a correct diagnosis comes into your life because treatment can help significantly more. I think you should attend therapy and make sure your medication is addressing symptoms enough. Medication is a gift that modern medicine has given the mentally ill, but I have learned a lot since bipolar has gotten out of control for me and it's this: medication is excellent and gives lives back, but therapy is a very important and increasingly neglected part of treatment. And try to master coping skills to a point where you can use them in times of distress.
I am dying to be happy, I am grappling with bipolar. It's a severe affliction because there's two poles and everything between them is a part of my life. I am trying to get stable and happy but it's SO hard. You have to keep going and trudge through the storm... I have been battling since I graduated high school and it has been very hard. The anti depressants altered my brain chemistry and I don't know if it's a good part in my treatment, but that's what this is all about, finding the drugs that let you live a happy, healthy, prosperous life. Good luck to you, now onto the next anxietyzone member. lol reply if you care to.