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Author Topic: Just an observation of myself...  (Read 184 times)

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Offline JER2911

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Just an observation of myself...
« on: June 30, 2014, 02:35:08 PM »
So, I'm fixing to face some MAJOR life changes.   My husband has accepted a job up north.  I have never lived anywhere other than, Florida (except for about 11 months in Arizona one time)...but I don't count that..lol. 

Anyways, mine and my families life is about to change radically.  I'm going to be away from my family and familiarity.  I don't do change all that well.  It makes me so anxious to even think about this move. 

So...guess what's happening.  I've been cycling like crazy.  As much control has I have had over my HA in the last years...it has still been EXTREMLEY hard for me to keep all the insane thoughts at bay. 

I'm currently losing weight.  Not on purpose.  Now, I know that because I've been anxious, I'm eating less.   I also know that my heart is racing ninety to nothing 24/7...which gets my metabolism kicking.  BUT...of course, I'm thinking I have cancer.  (I'm thinking Ovarian or Melanoma...possibly even lymphoma..because of the swollen nodes that I have/had and also having a cold/respiratory illness for EVER!!!  (about 6 weeks now).

I will not allow myself to think to the future.  I keep thinking, "it doesn't matter, because I won't be here...I'm going to be fighting and or dying of cancer"

How destructive we are to ourselves. I will beat this.  I know that.  But, in the mean time...it's making me mad.   ::)  This is obviously me trying not to focus on the move.  So, I'm focusing on this ridiculous array of illnesses. 

No need to comment..
Just wanted to vent.   :fragend005:
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Matthew 6:27  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Offline sixpack

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Re: Just an observation of myself...
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2014, 02:40:57 PM »
sorry this is scaring you.   the last time hubs and I moved, I sold it to my kids as a new adventure.  so that is what I am going to sell this to you as.

and, yes, we make BIG moves like you are going to do. Between my dad and hubs, I have lived in 6 states.  Each move has been north, south, north south....   Presently we are north.    ;D  What state are you moving to?  We live in western NY probably 8 miles (as the crow flies) from Lake Erie.
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline JER2911

  • Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
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Re: Just an observation of myself...
« Reply #2 on: June 30, 2014, 03:00:33 PM »
Thank you sixpack  :happy0151:


We are moving to Granger, Indiana..

I'm trying really hard to see the adventure in it.  I've been researching the area.  Looking at different churches and activities available for the kids. Looking at the schools and trying to decide if I'm going to send them to private school (since we will probably be able to afford it now)...

I won't have to work.  It will be a MAJOR change.  I can focus my time on my girls..(which will be great). 

My husband is currently in law enforcement (has been for 10 years).  It will be nice for him to have a job that he won't have the possibility of getting killed in the line of duty everyday... and he'll be home nights, holidays and weekends.

I'm going to enroll in ITT techs nursing program...so that's pretty awesome.  (I could never attempt this without the move, because I have to work in the daytime with our current situation)

I have only seen snow twice and never driven in it...that's freaking me out.    :sprachlos020:

I haven't ever lived away from my mom...and my girls will miss her very much as well.  They have a very tight bond. (This is the hardest hurdle of all).
I will miss the rest of my family as well.

And what if I get sick up there...like really sick?? We have no one.  (This is the HA talking, right).

Anyways...just a quick pro and con list.   I'm really, really, really, trying to think the best.  :dazed:
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Matthew 6:27  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Offline LAD123456

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Re: Just an observation of myself...
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2014, 03:14:57 PM »
JER2911

My cousin moved to Granger about 5 years ago---she loves it. But she wasn't moving from Florida, she moved from Pennsylvania.  Her house is huge and only cost a fraction of what something similar in the Philly burbs area would cost.  As far as schools--she is sending her 16 yr old son to public school--according to her they are really good.

I too do dont accept change well.  In fact my HA is because i had sooo much change in my life the past two years--all of which affected me more than I was willing to admit.  My mom died and then had to clean out her house (my childhood home) and sell it.  All of my symptoms of HA started 1 month after her house was sold---It took me a while to figure this out.  So now I am on the road in trying to get better and recover. This place helps a lot, especially with the words of wisdom from Sixpack.

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Offline JER2911

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Re: Just an observation of myself...
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2014, 03:19:47 PM »
Thanks LAD,

Good to know that your cousin loves it there!!  I noticed that with housing prices.  They are INSANE here in Florida.  And like you said, there are GORGEOUS houses for half the price...  We are going to rent for a while, until we get settled in and decide exactly where we want to be in the area. 

I have had HA since I was a child.  I've gotten a really good understanding of it and have a good handle, for the most part, in the last few years.  This is just the thing to trigger though.  The good thing is, when you realize what's REALLY going on (in the mind)...you have a leg up on the HA.  So, it helps to get out of the cycle faster. 

I've been around the block here at Anxiety Zone...lol.  It is a great place with people who get it...that's hard to come by in the real world.  So, it's nice knowing it's here. 

Stay on your healing road and you'll do great! 
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Matthew 6:27  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Offline sixpack

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Re: Just an observation of myself...
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2014, 03:27:40 PM »
sounds like a LOT of pros.   :yes:   

You know hubs and I married in TX.  right after, we left my family and moved to NJ.  then 5yrs later it was Louisiana.   10yrs later back up north to NY.  we've been here 8yrs come 8/1.   What I LOVE about the north is the climate.  It is so fantastic to have REAL seasons.  Odd as it sounds I dislike spring most here.  Most of it is 40's and rain, lol.  as far as snow goes, well, yep, you will have a learning curve.    :winking0008:  but it isn't rocket science, lol.  You just accelerate more slowly and decelerate more slowly.  and you don't follow other cars too closely.  For the most part salted roads make things much easier to drive on.  I live in Buffalo area.  In 8 yrs there have been maybe 3x, it was hard for me to get from point a to point b.  and those times were DURING heavy snow storms. 

I know it is great to be around family.  However there is nothing more fantastic than having real experience living somewhere else.  Peeps get a much broader view of life when they live in different places.  Visiting really doesn't give you the same flavor.

My suggestion to you is check out school districts.  most real estate apps show quality of schools on them.  when you find a couple of districts that look good, then go onto the websites and look around a bit more.  When we move, I choose 2 or 3 school districts that look good, then I only look at homes that  go in those districts.   

It sounds like you have some great plans.  Minus the cancer stuff  :winking0008:   all of that sort of thinking is CLASSIC hypo cover.  it is your mind trying to cover the real stuff--the move and all that that entails---with health stuff.  for some ridiculous reason we hypos think it is easier to deal with dying than moving (or whatever other stress we don't really want to deal with   :yes:     :winking0008:

this really will be a great opportunity for you and your family.  Yep, it will be weird at first.  but give yourself some credit. you are stronger than you think you are.  if you give yourself this chance, I am betting you will deal with this fabulously and come out smelling like a rose
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline jilllayy

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Re: Just an observation of myself...
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2014, 03:29:21 PM »
hey i am 2 months away from graduating from itts nursing program lol
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Offline JER2911

  • Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
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Re: Just an observation of myself...
« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2014, 03:37:32 PM »
Thank you for the sound, logical advice sixpack :)

I've definitely researched the school districts and have already figured out which ones to steer clear of...

There is a part of me that's excited about all this...but it feels scary to be excited, if that makes any sense what so ever....???

Jillay-  That's great!!! Congrats.  I am pretty excited about enrolling in the program.  My cousin has HA/anxiety and is a head RN at a huge hospital.  She does great.  She said at first, it was hard mixing the HA with the extended knowledge of medicine.  But, she said, you get used to it and get a better understanding and it actually helps to make you see in a better perspective. 
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Matthew 6:27  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Offline sixpack

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Re: Just an observation of myself...
« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2014, 03:46:26 PM »
Quote
There is a part of me that's excited about all this...but it feels scary to be excited, if that makes any sense what so ever....???   


I understand completely!..  You know why?  because it IS exciting and it IS scary.   :laugh3:   think of it this way:  if you choose to look at this like an adventure, then the adrenaline rush you get will be from excitement.  and OH boy "excitement" adrenaline is waaaaaay  more fun than fear adrenaline. 
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline sixpack

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Re: Just an observation of myself...
« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2014, 03:52:34 PM »
in all seriousness though,  making a move is one of the biggest stresses a family can do.  that doesn't mean doom and gloom.  that means that you acknowledge that you may end up with some stupid thinking.  As long as you recognize where it is coming from and you don't allow the cancer thoughts or ____ to cover up the real issue....  ie finding a good school for your kids or good docs and dentists, etc.............  and actually Deal with all of those things one at a time, then you should be fine. 
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline JER2911

  • Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
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Re: Just an observation of myself...
« Reply #10 on: June 30, 2014, 03:54:38 PM »
Quote
There is a part of me that's excited about all this...but it feels scary to be excited, if that makes any sense what so ever....???   


I understand completely!..  You know why?  because it IS exciting and it IS scary.   :laugh3:   think of it this way:  if you choose to look at this like an adventure, then the adrenaline rush you get will from excitement.  and OH boy "excitement" adrenaline is waaaaaay  more fun than fear adrenaline. 

That is SOOOO true.   And I can feel both of them bouncing back and forth.  It is a major difference between the feelings of excitement and fear.

Well...here's to letting excitement take over!!!!    :winking0008: 

I just thought of something funny.   The first time any tiny bit of flurries come down from the sky...my kids will be outside running around like raving lunatics, trying to make snow angels in the flurries.   We make have to make a sign that says, "Excuse us, we're from Florida"...   :spineyes:

Oh, and the accents...I hope they take our "southern accents" well...
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Matthew 6:27  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Offline sixpack

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Re: Just an observation of myself...
« Reply #11 on: June 30, 2014, 04:02:07 PM »
lol,  you may get some comments  about your accents.   :laugh3:

and the snow stuff...  my  "awwwww story" about that.   as I mentioned our last place was Baton Rouge.  4 of my kids were born there.  Our third child was in fourth grade.  At the P/T conference, her teacher told me this story.  That year there was freak snow storm in mid october.  Anyway the teacher was  teaching and BIG, fluffy snowflakes started coming down.  My daughter just stood up and walked to the window in awe.  Of course all of the other kids were like "big WHOOP".  there was an aide in the class and the teacher told Mrs Smith (or whatever her name was) to please take my daughter outside to experience the snow....  GAWD can you believe that  ;D
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline JER2911

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Re: Just an observation of myself...
« Reply #12 on: June 30, 2014, 04:08:49 PM »
Awww that's so cute!!!   I'm sure they will be in awe.  I'm really looking forward to that first snow experience.  (But, I'm sure by Feb..we'll be over it)!! LOL.

Side note...all my husband's family lives in Louisiana.  They are from, Plaquemine.  It's about 45 minutes from, Baton Rouge.

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Matthew 6:27  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

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