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Author Topic: Anyone ever have a confidence situation like this?  (Read 58 times)

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Offline Mairi

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Anyone ever have a confidence situation like this?
« on: June 29, 2014, 01:40:36 AM »
I adore my older sister and I always try very hard to please her, so much that I feel like all my confidence comes from her. If she's happy with me, I feel good about myself. The few times she isn't, I feel like a horrible guilty person. For example I asked her a question once to which she didn't react so well, and I felt super guilty for a week, even though she was over it very quickly. I feel guilty if I listen to music or even eat a food my sister doesn't like (what is she thinking about me?). I actually completely stopped listening to a group I loved but she didn't just because I didn't want her to love me less. When I do something sort of bad, I don't think "What would my parents think?" Instead, it's "What would my older sister think?" (My mom finds that funny.) There was an event at my school once where everyone had to recite a poem, and my sister was busy and couldn't go. I was actually relieved because I was afraid she would think I looked or sounded stupid reciting my poem. Of course she would never tell me if she thought so. Sometimes I'm afraid she doesnt live me for no reason. I love my sister to pieces. She is beautiful and everything I want to be. I want so much to please her. Anyone ever feel like this with a certain person?
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: Anyone ever have a confidence situation like this?
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2014, 02:21:06 AM »
That's a great post.  I love hearing about people who have a deep love for another.  I have a small circle of friends and writers and I think
I share some of that feeling with them.  They want me to be happy. They want whatever will make me happy.  Thank goodness for these people.
As a buddhist, I believe we have earned them.
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