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Author Topic: something about me...introducing myself  (Read 29 times)

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Offline looking_for_the_purpose

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something about me...introducing myself
« on: June 28, 2014, 08:03:31 PM »
hello,guys
i dont know where to start...i have been diagnosed with GAD, few months ago, when i finally decided to visit psychologist, but i believe that i had it few years before. I am almost 30 years old man, and i had a lot of tragic situations in my life - first their divorce, than then i lost my parents, had bad relationships with wrong people, and finally my granny who raised me, died last year.

in all that period of sorrow, i believed that i was born for something good, for something special, for some glory, for some public recognition, for something that will satisfy my "minus"in my early life, but us time goes by, nothing hapens...i am looking for the purpose.

i am not depresive, because i have been learned to be strong in any situation, and depresion will be sign of weakness, just i very anxious, because everyday situation makes me feel just ordinary...

of course, i am not a native english speaker, and i work for some company, in small city, where is necesary to speak at least on foreign language fluently...i have contacts with foreigners almost every day, and every time when i speak with them, i am very anxious - "will i say this correctly, will my grammar be ok, what if some of my coleagues hear that i made mistakes, what if they ask me something and i dont understand, what if someone mocks me"... i know me english is decent, but i am anxious  because i was mocked once, when i just started to work in that company, back then i wasnt so sure with my english. i am speaking all of this because posibility of being mocked, make me anxious because it is contrary to my belief that i was born for sometnig sublime, which was my motive to go forward, to survive periods of pain and sorrow...

also, i always try to do something special, something different than others...having that in mind, i try to improve me skills in very different fields and areas...starting from reading books, playing guitars, training martial arts etc etc...and i am never satisfied with my performance, always push myself to practice harder, to be more disciplined...just in order to be seen by others and to be recognized by them..but when i try to escape from my everyday routine, my inner "parent" tells me to go back and practice, and reminds me on my eventualy mistakes on my work etc etc etc...and he is very cruel if i dont do by the schedule. today, when i was planning to go out and dring coffe, i had had dillema - shoud i go out, or maybe i should stay at home and maybe improve my guitar skills (because obviously my subconscious forces me to be a rock star)

as i said, i am visiting psyhologist for a three months and i dont take any medicine...so far, i think that i am now more lunatic then before i started visiting my pschylogist :) also, i have physical symptoms...some of them have are caused by anxiety (dizzines, lighthead, movin floor) and some of them are biological - i have arythmia...i dont know could it be caused by stress and anxiety, but i have it for a years too...i visited some doctors, and they prescribed me some drugs for the heart and tell me to stress release...when i have my anxiety period i have my pounding heart (very often arrythmic heart), cheast pressure and pain,  dizzines, dry mouth, nervous hands...and i have it almost every day. the worst thing sometimes is that i have anxiety for no obvious and particular reason...and it is very very very often...

sorry for this big introduction, i hope that my joining this forum will bring me some new friendships and that it will relief my everyday life....
if you have some advice, comments, anything, just tell me...let me know, i will be thankful for that
all the best to all of you
god bless you
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Offline JustBreath

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Re: something about me...introducing myself
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2014, 11:32:45 PM »
Hello :)

Sorry to hear you are struggling. I can totally relate to the feelings of anxiety you described. It can be very difficult :( From your post your English seems just fine :) I know it is hard but try to remember that it doesn't really matter what other people think anyway. There are so many rude, inconsiderate people in this world and you can't let them bring you down. Hope you feel better. We can all get through this :)
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: something about me...introducing myself
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2014, 05:24:23 AM »
Welcome to the forum. Good to have you as a member. Here you are with like minded people. People who understand. As we all suffer from something or other. So feel free to ask any questions. Our members are always willing to help others out. Good chatroom too. 3 posts to enter the room.

Find the correct section of the forum that suits your condition and create a new topic on it. This is just a welcome section. Never really get the same amount of help in this section as you would on the other sections of the forums. So whatever one suits the questions you are asking. Get much better answers.
All users of the chatroom must be 18 years old or over. The room is off limits to anybody under the age of 18.
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