I didn't have a boyfriend when I was going through the thick of things, but if I did, I'm pretty sure I would have driven him away. There are plenty of relationships that felt the strain, though—my roommates, my mom—they all did get sick of hearing about my HA all the time.
I agree with six, that HA creates a very narrow focus. Do more selfishly-inclined individuals have more of a tendency to develop HA? I don't know, but I'd hesitate to say you're "a jerk" because of how you're acting now.
However, I will say that what's going on with you and your girlfriend is a GREAT reason to seek professional help. Our loved ones CANNOT bear the strain of our "need" for reassurance. Even the strongest relationships can crumble because of it. Neither she nor anyone else is responsible for making sure you feel OK. That is for you and a trained professional to figure out.