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Author Topic: MRI tomorrow morning  (Read 366 times)

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Offline krja80

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MRI tomorrow morning
« on: June 24, 2014, 03:25:58 PM »
I just need to vent and cry. Backstory...for three years I've been petrified about having a brain something...tumor, MS, aneurysm, amoeba, etc...but mostly tumor. I had this weird auditory hallucination that woke me from a dead sleep about 3 years ago and that started me off on a bad bad downward spiral. A few months later, weird dizziness, a few years later, an ocular type migraine and now pretty consistent headaches for the last 6 weeks. I've attributed all of these to being on death's doorstep. I'm one of those hypochondriacs that doesn't run to the dr. in fear of them actually finding something, so I've been "living" like this for almost 3 years. Wasted almost 3 years of my life. Missed vacations, fretted instead of loving, crying instead of finding joy, feeling awful instead of grateful. I'm petrified to get this test. I'm pretty sure that I'll bail at the last minute, but I'm trying to stay strong because I fear that if I don't do it, I will end up in a psychiatric facility with a total breakdown. I work every day, never missed a day of work from this effing illness, but I tell ya, my resolve is running out. Nobody in my life besides my best friend and husband know of the hell that I live in every day, so to everyone on the outside of my world, I'm fun and low-key...little do they know that I'm dying inside every minute of every day. I cry all the time. I have panic symptoms hourly. I sleep more than I should sometimes, and not at all at other times. I've wasted my life for over a decade with this ***** and I can't get over it. I can't help myself, and at this point, I need some relief. If there's a 1% chance (which is all that I believe in my mind that there is) that I can be given an all clear with an MRI on my brain health, at this point, I'll take it. Hate this illness. Hate. It. Pretty sure I'll find out that I'm dying this week. And if that happens, I'm going to be so pissed.
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Online emily1994

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Re: MRI tomorrow morning
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2014, 03:40:03 PM »
I am so sorry you are going through this, especially for three years. I was consumed by a brain tumor fear for five months, and that was hell. I can only imagine how you feel.

I want to let you know that I have had so many strange symptoms, and still do. Ocular migraines, headaches, dizziness, ringing ears (constantly, and still to this day), palinopsia (seeing trails off of moving objects and after images), seeing random colorful dots, numbness, tingling, etc. I have had two MRIs on my brain, and both were perfectly normal.

Anxiety can wreak havoc on the body; I want to tell you that first hand. However, sometimes the body just does things for no reason. I would get the MRI for your peace of mind, but once you get the results, you HAVE TO BELIEVE THEM!!! Don't make the mistake I did! That's why I have had two MRIs.
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Offline LAD123456

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Re: MRI tomorrow morning
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2014, 03:46:51 PM »
You have to go in order to get some answers and hopefully put your mind at ease.

And I understand about the freeting and worrying to the point that you don't enjoy your life---

Please go and let us know
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Online chunkymonkey

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Re: MRI tomorrow morning
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2014, 04:28:46 PM »
I understand what you are going through. Im going through the same fear for a few months and havent been able to sleep well because of this fear. Im constantly crying over it too. Im hoping to get an mri soon to help ease my anxiety. I just want to say dont be too worried about it and i hope your mri will go well
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Offline sixpack

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Re: MRI tomorrow morning
« Reply #4 on: June 24, 2014, 04:51:04 PM »
personally I think your fears of a brain illness are unfounded.   it is highly unlikely the mri will find anything sinsiter.
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline krja80

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Re: MRI tomorrow morning
« Reply #5 on: June 25, 2014, 11:31:33 AM »
Well I did it. I almost didn't. My general process is that I get too anxious to go through with medical tests, but I powered through it and had it done. The tech at the end came in and I got upset and she asked what was wrong. I told her that I was very fearful that something was gravely wrong, she goes "yeah". Nothing else. Nothing to make me feel better, nothing to say "nah, it all looks good". So that makes me feel even worse about the results. Certainly as a human being, she would have said something to me to calm my fears if it was totally normal. Don't you think? She was very strange at the end of it too...maybe it's just me seeing something that isn't there, but I'm not feeling good at all about these results.
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Offline krja80

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Re: MRI tomorrow morning
« Reply #6 on: June 25, 2014, 11:32:39 AM »
 :traurig001:
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Offline healthworrier24

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Re: MRI tomorrow morning
« Reply #7 on: June 25, 2014, 11:40:33 AM »
When did they say you will get the results? I'm so sorry you are going through this and hope that you get the relief you are seeking soon. I wouldnt fret to much. I bet everything is perfectly normal. Way to go though on going through with it!!!
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Offline krja80

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Re: MRI tomorrow morning
« Reply #8 on: June 25, 2014, 12:10:24 PM »
They said that they would get them to my doctor in 24-48 hours. I feel so sick to my stomach right now. I don't think I've ever been this worried in my life. Do you all think that the tech would have said something to me if all was normal?
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Offline leah2013

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Re: MRI tomorrow morning
« Reply #9 on: June 25, 2014, 12:12:29 PM »
Hi! Sorry u r going thru this. I went thru it too. I worried for 3 months of a brain tumor because I was having daily headaches and other symptoms. I begged my neuro for a MRI and it was all clean!!!!
Good luck I know exactly how u feel. I wasted 2 years of my life worrying about HIV. It was awful. I found the courage to get tested and it was negative.
Please keep us posted and I am so glad u had the courage to finally get the test done!!!
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Going thru a rough patch! Praying for peace of mind and happiness!!!!

Offline leah2013

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Re: MRI tomorrow morning
« Reply #10 on: June 25, 2014, 12:14:07 PM »
Hi! Sorry u r going thru this. I went thru it too. I worried for 3 months of a brain tumor because I was having daily headaches and other symptoms. I begged my neuro for a MRI and it was all clean!!!!
Good luck I know exactly how u feel. I wasted 2 years of my life worrying about HIV. It was awful. I found the courage to get tested and it was negative.
Please keep us posted and I am so glad u had the courage to finally get the test done!!!

They can't tell u. When I got my MRI done the tech didn't give any hint either way and was very cold. I asked her and she said the doctor will let me know the results gggrrrr my MRI was clean!!
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Going thru a rough patch! Praying for peace of mind and happiness!!!!

Offline bpadilla49

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Re: MRI tomorrow morning
« Reply #11 on: June 25, 2014, 12:14:39 PM »
Nope! The tech DEFINITELY wouldn't tell you if it was normal. Try not to read too much into things. I know it's hard - I've been there - waiting for results from a brain MRI. It isn't easy. Call your doctor on Friday and ask for the results so you can have a peaceful weekend! It's always a good thing if YOU have to call THEM for results :-)
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Offline mct425

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Re: MRI tomorrow morning
« Reply #12 on: June 25, 2014, 04:17:54 PM »
Aww, I know this was hard for you.  The tech isn't allowed to tell you anything because they aren't trained to accurately read/interpret scan results.  However, I have also heard that if something extremely sinister was found, you would have either heard from someone immediately, or not been allowed to leave the facility. 

I'm guessing too that everything is fine, and your symptoms are more a result of stress/anxiety rather than a brain disease :)

I, too, have brain tumor fears--but am slowly working through them and realizing that my symptoms can all be attributed to much more common (benign) things.

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Offline krja80

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Re: MRI tomorrow morning
« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2014, 10:21:30 PM »
All clear. ***** I wasted a lot of time worrying.
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Offline rckstr1253

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Re: MRI tomorrow morning
« Reply #14 on: June 26, 2014, 12:09:27 AM »
Good to hear your MRI was clean!  =)  Now that should help ease your fears.  Lately I have been going through a lot and asked for an MRI to see if I have MS but the doctor said no as he said it'd be wasting my money.  So right now I am trying to put faith in him after being diagnosed with carpel tunnel, that turned out not to be carpel tunnel, and then having a doctor tell me it could be ALS, MS, cancer, carpel tunnel, RA, etc.  Now I am anxious and not sure whether to trust my last doctor I saw who said its only anxiety and I need to see a counselor and get acupuncture/massage therapy.   You are definitely not alone, and if you ever need to talk or anything I am always all ears! = )

dave
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