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Author Topic: Pure O and dp/dr  (Read 72 times)

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Offline coldfeet12

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Pure O and dp/dr
« on: June 24, 2014, 05:14:13 AM »
Hi everyone,
Alright I'll start off by saying I've always had minor depression and anxiety but I've also had pretty bad issues with obsessions in the past which made the depression and anxiety much worse. I'm very close to finishing college and have an amazing family, great boyfriend and some friends. A few months ago (March) I smoked weed and had the most terrible experience of my life (yup I've had a pretty good life). Well anyway I started seeing things in a very strange light and I was staring at my boyfriend but felt that I was watching him through a frame or TV screen. My heart was pounding like freaking crazy and I thought FOR SURE my schizophrenia was beginning!  Well, I got over it for the most part but it definitely shook me to the core.

Then about 2 months ago, I got into a car accident in the rain and ever since then I've had waves of obsession about existence and death. It's HORRRIBLE because it makes me question weird things like my own perception of the world and I start asking myself strange questions over and over which I don't have an answer to. I even think about the fact that I'm typing and that I'm a thinking/complex being and it gives me a nervous/creepy feeling. I would not say I'm in a dream-like state like a lot of DP/DR sufferers, but I definitely feel disconnected because I can't stop thinking about existence/death. THIS IS A COMPLETE STRUGGLE! This disconnection makes me very nervous and then it worsens. I get to the point where I know I'm seeing everything normally and I know I'm fine but I'm convinced that I'm becoming schizophrenic and will never be "normal" again. I also have this recent issue with being freaked out when I hear my own voice and then obsessing over my own voice. But I know this will pass like all the other things that I've thought to death.

In high school/the past I've had obsessions with other things such as being terrified that I was a lesbian (which I laugh at today) and I've always struggled with germs, contamination, and thinking I've had serious illnesses. I am not suicidal and have loved life in the past but I cannot live normally anymore! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE respond if you've been through something similar and if you have any medications that are alleviating the Pure O symptoms (been on lexapro in the past and I'm pretty sure it was working but I went off it STUPIDDD)! Even if you suffer from Pure O and need help with an issue other than death and existence rumination I can probably help a little but please respond, I'd love to hear from other anxiety sufferers!

I have an appointment with both a psychiatrist and a psychologist this week which I'm looking forward to. I've also been writing a little bit even about my weird thoughts regarding existence. But please respond even if it's just to say "I feel yah" cause I'm on the verge of a breakdown with every waking moment and could use some support and reassurance. Thanks so much.
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Online Cuchculan

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Re: Pure O and dp/dr
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2014, 09:27:01 AM »
Welcome to the forum. Good to have you as a member. Here you are with like minded people. People who understand. As we all suffer from something or other. So feel free to ask any questions. Our members are always willing to help others out. Good chatroom too. 3 posts to enter the room.

Find the correct section of the forum that suits your condition and create a new topic on it. This is just a welcome section. Never really get the same amount of help in this section as you would on the other sections of the forums. So whatever one suits the questions you are asking. Get much better answers.
All users of the chatroom must be 18 years old or over. The room is off limits to anybody under the age of 18.
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Offline Curiouslywondering

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Re: Pure O and dp/dr
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2014, 11:36:06 AM »
Lol I feel ya! I've struggled with pure O most of my life, it started with germs and the thought that I was always dirty, then developed to like weird sexual obsessions. I spent most of my life listening to thoughts afraid that they were true. The stress and anxiety that intrusive thoughts bring is horrible trust me ik. Prozac helped me in the past, but pooped out on me after a few months, so I really can't say what medication to choose. I will say that the way I get through intrusive thoughts is by confronting them.  See these thoughts only have so much power over our minds bc we fear them, we battle within our selves to find if they are true or not and most times they are NOT. Sometimes you must confront that which you fear to take away it's power.You must tell the thoughts What If, I mean what if that happened?  What if that were true?.  And the more you do this, the more you'll see the ridiculousness of the thoughts.

Peace and blessings
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Offline Julie A. Cook

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Re: Pure O and dp/dr
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2014, 04:50:33 PM »
I have DP, and that's what continues to promote my anxiety.  I, too, feel like I'll go crazy and end up in an institution.  My psychiatrist assures me this will never happen!!!  Institutions are only for those who have  lost touch with reality , are suicidal or homicidal.  You are not losing your mind.  ANxiety plays terrible tricks if we let it, and that's my goal, to stop letting it.

It is good that you're seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist and I hopethey are right for you. 

My way out is medicine, and talk therapy.  I do very well with the talk therapy.

Good luck to you.  You will survive and come out of this.

Best,

Julie
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Offline coldfeet12

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Re: Pure O and dp/dr
« Reply #4 on: June 25, 2014, 09:26:44 PM »
hi curiouslywondering, thanks for responding i know people say it all the time but it's really good to connect with other people who experience this *****. I totally agree that once you confront the obsessions they go away. Particularly, once you stop caring about them and just become indifferent to them they start to fade and you never really give it much thought again. Eventually obsessions get boring and then they just stop being so disturbing. I'm sorry to hear that the prozac stopped working, but it seems like you're really good at coping with the thoughts.

hi julie, the dp is really confusing. I don't see anything differently I just feel like I'm constantly thinking about the depersonalization because  I'm convinced that's what I've been feeling since by bad experience with pot. It's almost like depression coupled with an identity crisis and extreme fear. I don't have any memory issues, I just have difficulty concentrating on the present because I'm always thinking "omg why is this happening, is this DP, what should I do to feel better?" I also read a lot about DP online and watched videos and it said things about abuse and trauma causing it. This was very upsetting to me because I did not face trauma in my childhood and have a loving family. I'm so fearful that I'm having a complete breakdown of my own identity.  Sometimes I'm not even sure if I have DP or if my OCD is just tricking me into it. If you don't mind my asking, what medication do you take and did it help a lot with the DP?
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