I have no advice, just sympathy. Flying & being away from home scare the crap out of me too. If you can will yourself to get on the plane, I think the Valium would be helpful, in addition to a guided relaxation made for flying. I know you can download those on iTunes. I once had a panic attack on a plane and while it was very scary, I don't think a single person noticed. I took a Valium, put on a podcast, a sleep mask, shook for about 20 minutes, then drifted off to sleep. I shamefully admit that I haven't flown since then, although I really would like to try when I have the time for a getaway.