Well I'm here because I have been experiencing anxiety for some time now… made worse by bad relationship situations.
In college I was diagnosed with depression and took a prescription for it for a while, but it gave me bad headaches, so I learned to cope on my own. Unfortunately, life sometimes gets the better of me and I am less able to cope. I have found a few great friends who are very supportive, but when I complain about the same thing over and over they get annoyed and stop responding or they tell me to just move on already… but I don't think they really get it.
My anxiety gets worse with the situations i find myself in… mostly ending up falling for men that don't want relationships and are really good liars. I start to obsess about it and even though I have decent evidence that they are lying, i still want to believe that they are good. My friends get tired of it and tell me i deserve better and should move on, but i can't figure out how. then i obsess about why the person isn't texting me back and who they are with and then i stalk social media for girls i think they are with (i have good evidence that he may be seeing someone else but he denies it)
I feel like it overwhelms me. it takes over my thoughts. i find it hard to focus at work. all i can think about is contacting him. or what they could be doing. my heart beats really fast and i get short of breath. I also sometimes get physically sick from my anxiety. I try not to but sometimes it does happen. it's hard to calm myself down and i find myself in deep sobbing spells.
I'm not sure if this is depression or an anxiety disorder or maybe this situation is just really bad and theres nothing wrong with me. i just don't know.
Oh and it doesn't help that I'm a borderline hoarder. my apartment is a disaster and every time i try to clean it i get overwhelmed and either cry or sleep. i have gotten it really messy before and cleaned it but it always gets bad. and this time its the worst. i don't know how to get this all taken care of and it stresses me out to the point that i just crawl into bed and cry til i fall asleep.
And i even feel bad if you read all of that bc it's all just silly in retrospect. but i can't get over it. I'm stuck.
thanks for reading. God bless.