I added the link to my entire mental history if you want some background info, it includes a list of symptoms and my physc evaluationhttp://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,90183.0.html
Anyway to sum u, I have struggled with GAD, panic disorder, severe depression for almost half my life. Ive rebounded several times but each time it comes back worse and worse. I also show signs of bipolar and BPD
Most recently as it was on the rise, my son was born 3 months premi and I am falling apart. (Hes doing really well, for the record)
I came almost completely off 2 pills of 0.5mgs of Clonazpeam very slowly over the course of several months. Got down to 1/4 at night to help me sleep.
I have been mulling over trying something else for a long time and after his birth I absolutely had to try something.
The dr perscibed me 10mg of Citalopram once daily, starting at 5mgs for a week then to 10.
I dont react well to any med(even headache meds) so I started at 0.25mgs and have been on it for 11 days. It doesnt seem possible to me to have any reaction to such a low dose but I am definetly having some reaction.
Its really hard to tell whats what. Everything was on the rise before his birth and after his birth it got much worse even before the first dose.
Anyway I summed it up, as before his birth,after,and when I started the medsBefore his birth
Most prevailing and disturbing symptoms
Neck and shoulder tightness(so far that my head is permanently pinched forward) which seems to be causing occipital neuralgia
Headaches (tension type, varying degrees,almost always present to some degree)
Panic attacks(severe, feel like Im dying or losing my mind)
GAD (always feel unwell,like I have the flu,trembling)
Dizziness(always there,sometimes whirling sensations,objects or floor moving, feeling like Im walking on a boat)
Brain fog that is debilitating(lasts a few hours a day)
Feelings of unreality,visual hallucinations(mostly in peripheral vision)
random IBS,(bloody stool, fissures)
Unable to relax
Depressed mood, no motivation, feel overwhelmed
Social Anxiety, barely leave the house because I feel so terribleAfter his birth
Everything listed above as well as
Uncontrollable Shaking,especially when I fist wake up
Trouble sleeping at night,staying awake all day
Panic attacks and Nausea upon waking
Overwhelming sense of doom, and very overwhelmed, so bad its hard to move
Increased GAD, and Panic attacks(hyperventilation severe)After my first dose
Everything above as well as
Dry mouth,increased thirst and urination
Drowsiness (always feel off, unable to concentrate, things take much more effort to do,cant drive)
Eyes out of focus, dark vision
Constant Indigestion,heartburn, nausea,bad burning pain in stomach when I first wake
Very restless, keyed up
Faint,become veryvery pale,sweat,see spots,almost pass out
Insomnia( vivid disturbing dreams)
Confusion,breif moments of unreality,trouble finding words
Facial numbness and eye twitch
Full sinuses,ringing in ears
Suicidal thoughts( I feel like I cant take this anymore, though it would take a lot for me to end myself)
I know most of the side effects listed above are common, I dont think they should be so severe at such a low dose(unless its hypersensitivity)
Its the increase in the GAD.panic attacks,shaking and especially the feeling faint,turing pale and almost passing out that scares me the most.
Im afraid that since I am not tolerating it well on such a low dose,a higher dose will be much worse
I dont want to give up if it will all get better, and I cant do the back and forth finding the right med game, my mental state is very fragile right now. The pharmacist suggested I try 5mg and see if it makes me feel worse,to the point I cant tolerate.
I havent really experienced any positive effects other than my chronic dizziness becoming more like drowsiness
Does it seem like this med is not for me?