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Author Topic: Scared to Death of Death  (Read 386 times)

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Offline WorriedDude22

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Scared to Death of Death
« on: June 22, 2014, 04:00:23 PM »
Hi all! So I'm starting Lexapro again tomorrow for GAD.  Not necessarily for this subject though, but for overall GAD.  However recently I've developed this strange fear of death.  It literally came out of nowhere and I'm not sure why.  I'm very religious and I'm a christian.  So I feel this shouldn't be happening.  It's starting to take a toll.  I don't like to be alone, and I can't fall asleep because I'm scared of dying in my sleep.  I also don't like to be in remote locations that are far from hospitals because I'm scared something is going to happen.  Can anyone relate or give some advice?  I've recently seen a therapist, and it has helped getting it all out in the open, however I feel like he hasn't provided any solutions.
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Scared to Death of Death
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2014, 05:43:03 AM »
Death is part of life. That is something I accept. I also accept that nobody can predict death. With such acceptance the mind can rest a good bit. Have a look around for the Tibetan book of living and dying. I know it is not your type of religion. But half the book is about death. It gives a great understanding of after we die. I have passed this book on to many a person who have lost a loved one. They all enjoyed reading it. They found great comfort in it. These are Catholic people. The book is Buddhism is nature. But that didn't stop them from reading it. Maybe you have a good pastor in your local church. One you can talk to. In a religious sense. That might put your mind at ease too. It can be about finding the right words to read and the right people to talk to.
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Offline LotusFish

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Re: Scared to Death of Death
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2014, 11:53:37 PM »
I know how you feel.

I have a husband that travels frequently for work and that's when mine escalates because then it's just me and our 18 month old daughter. I have found that talking about it helps but the person I like to talk to is also the one who is traveling all of the time. As a mother, it's even scarier because more than anything you don't want to leave your child behind. I pray every night ( I didn't used to) which also helps but other than those two things, I'm not much help but I am still working through it as well.
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Offline braves0042

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Re: Scared to Death of Death
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2014, 07:19:05 PM »
I developed the same thing over the past two months, funny thing is that it all started with depersonalization cause before that i would just blow the thought off but now it actually scares me and gives me horrible anxiety and shows up out of nowhere even when I am just relaxing. I am almost agoraphobic because of it. Mine was like a sudden onset and it scared me and still does, almost like that "days are numbered" feeling but I am sure that most of us with anxiety and depression experience this daily so i am sure everything will work out for you and that you will eventually get over this  :happy0151:. BTW how are you doing with the Lexapro?
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Offline Cain1980

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Re: Scared to Death of Death
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2014, 02:05:21 AM »
Very common. Some people obsess on it more than others, but we all think about it. Have you tried meditating? Meditation seems to help some people conquer their fear of dying. Have you considered psychedelics?
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Scared to Death of Death
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2014, 08:02:56 AM »
While there is plenty to fear here on earth, including how we may suffer before we die, I am content to accept that I don't know where I came from and don't know where I'm going. From nothing to nothing.

Also meditate twice daily which helps me in any number of ways. It seems to be a means to recondition thinking, feeling, navigating this life by giving the brain some new instructions. Reconditioning the brain. Takes time and patience, but can bring results.
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Offline Toasted Butter

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Re: Scared to Death of Death
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2014, 11:44:20 AM »
Death is one of the most natural things to fear; that's what keeps us from doing stupid things that get us killed. Many people get reassurance from their religion, but even the most devout person will have fears and "what-if"s that will open the door to fear. There's nothing wrong with that and it's totally normal. Anyone who says that they have no doubts about what happens when they die is lying. However, as a non-believer (Mark Twain) said about death, " “I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.” Also, "“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” Now Mark Twain was well versed in hyperbole, but the sentiment is basically sound; you have no fear of the time before you were born; why should you think it will be any worse when you die? And also, if you fear death then live your life to the fullest, because living in fear of death prevents you from enjoying life while you have it. I am constantly reminding myself of this. Make every day count and live like you mean it.
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Scared to Death of Death
« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2014, 12:22:20 PM »
Nice quotes from Mark Twain, thank you. In my readings about the end trip preceding death which preoccupies me, I came across the Tibetan Buddhist view. Unnerving. Apparently we might return, about the last thing I want to do. Once I'm gone I want to be gone for good.

Hope things pick up in this book or I'll have to chuck it.

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Offline LotusFish

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Re: Scared to Death of Death
« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2014, 09:34:06 PM »
Well said. I really needed this today.

Death is one of the most natural things to fear; that's what keeps us from doing stupid things that get us killed. Many people get reassurance from their religion, but even the most devout person will have fears and "what-if"s that will open the door to fear. There's nothing wrong with that and it's totally normal. Anyone who says that they have no doubts about what happens when they die is lying. However, as a non-believer (Mark Twain) said about death, " “I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.” Also, "“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” Now Mark Twain was well versed in hyperbole, but the sentiment is basically sound; you have no fear of the time before you were born; why should you think it will be any worse when you die? And also, if you fear death then live your life to the fullest, because living in fear of death prevents you from enjoying life while you have it. I am constantly reminding myself of this. Make every day count and live like you mean it.
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Offline Calamy

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Re: Scared to Death of Death
« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2014, 10:10:08 PM »
I have had this intense fear of death since I was a teenager and it has been the cause of all my anxiety. I have had GAD since 17 officially and I'm 41 now. I have been anxious about death since childhood I think, when my mom taught me about heaven and hell and I would go to church and ponder what it would feel like if you were going to go to hell. I actually kept tormenting myself with these thoughts. I'm a melancholic personality and black/white thinker. I have been brought up Christian and in the past few years lost so much faith because of my anxiety, OCD, perfectionism, and so on. There are no doctors or clergy who seem to be able to address the OCD scrupulosity and total black/white thinking. I am more afraid of death than ever, it never gets better. I convince myself of so many horrors.

I read a book called Staring at the Sun by Irvin Yalom which was very helpful but it does not look at it from a Christian perspective. I was questioning a lot of my faith and church and what I have been taught and how people interpret the Bible and so on. I still can't shake the "doomed" idea which I have had for 25+ years. I don't forgive myself and seem to just torment myself over and over because I don't feel lovable and I don't think I have felt "God's love" since I was probably 11 or something. I do not feel loved or heard or lovable. There's so much self loathing.

I don't know what to do anymore. I tried antidepressants and all that, tranquilizers, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, social workers, and so on. I read books and I try all the relaxation methods but nothing can answer these questions for me. No priests and no doctors. I feel utterly depressed and alone, like I have destroyed my life and soul and can't get any of it back again.

I don't know how this just goes unnoticed in society today with all the stuff we have, why can't we find a way to help [people like me? I literally siut and think "who can I turn to?" and there's no one.
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"Fear is such a vicious thing; it wraps me up in chains." - Tears for Fears, "The Working Hour"

Offline tinam7

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Re: Scared to Death of Death
« Reply #10 on: July 01, 2014, 01:31:08 PM »
Might I suggest you turn to yourself? Trust yourself? Irvin Yalom is very smart, writes good novels he calls teaching novels, but is not Christian. Neither am I, but I like the teaching, "Love your neighbor as yourself." The Yourself is often lost.

No-one knows diddly about death. I happen to like the idea of death (am old) because all the cares in life will float away. Until then, I do my best to thumb my nose at the Grim Reaper, so-called, and do the best I can for myself and those around me. Even intending to donate the old body to research.
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Offline Smalm

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Re: Scared to Death of Death
« Reply #11 on: July 01, 2014, 03:07:24 PM »
I fear thesame exact thing and I'm not religious at all, but everything you say WorriedDude22 about your fear of death is true, I cant sleep alone I have to sleep in a room with another person or an animal and I have to drink water before I go to sleep to know I can still swallow and not die of rabies in my sleep, I swear I died of rabies in my past life. i am in a city right now and although my anxiety is high this house is easily less than 50-75 feet from a fire station. i may hate the sounds of the city but the hospitals are near, no wonder Idread going to rural parts of the state I live in... Bats, cyotes, other gross disease carrying animals. So anyways I have anxiety about my own mortality all the time, heck yesterday I wrote a death letter and then again this morning, I fear death a lot I think I get the fear of death here a lot from the bad vibes the cemetary across the street gives off. Alot and it's just all around me I think about it all the time.
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On medication, which is doing great! I love the major improvements it has made for me and he people around me for when I have anxiety I make others suffer, but not anymore!

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