so i'm moving from southern Oregon, to a small town near Portland Oregon, in a week (my mom got remarried). I was really happy to move, and really excited with all the new changes, because i thought it would be good for me to have a change of pace. but now it's a week away and it just feels like everything is being ripped out from under me.
so first i had my last appointment with my therapist, and that's been really hard for me the past few days because now i don't really have anyone that i can just vent to (i know i can talk to people on here, and my friends on tumblr...but it's just different to have someone that you can actually TALK to ya'know?) and it's been hard to think that i'll probably never see her again.
then i had to start taking down all my posters, and packing up my stuff...and my room looks so empty and it just doesnt feel like mine anymore....so it's just making moving feel more final.
now i'm having to "hang out before i leave" with my friends and it's just really hard... like i'v never had a lot of friends and right now i only have two. and they're the best friends i could ever ask for, and me and my best friend went through a little bit of a rough patch where we weren't talking as much as we usually do, and now we're talking again and we're really close again so it's just making it even harder to leave, and i'm seeing her for probably the last time on monday (we'll probably visit in later in july tho). and my other best friend keeps asking when i can come over again before i leave, and his mom (who's like my aunt) is really emotional about us moving and she started sobbing the last time i saw her and she kept talking about how "it feels like the end of an era..i know i'll see you guys again but it feels like the end"
so yea....the final-ness of it all is just really freaking me out.
then i'm also freaking out about all the things i need before and after we move, and the fact that i don't have enough money, and neither does my mom.
i need a dog crate for my younger dog who gets anxious in the car for a long time. i need a carrier for my cat, i need portable tank for my hamster because i'm worried about her aquarium breaking in the car, i'm going to need new tags for both my dogs and my cat, plus i'll need furniture for my room because i can't bring my desk, my room will have wood floors so i need a rug, i need a dresser...not to mention we're going to have to get new phones....
and i'm going to have to get used to a new house that i'v never even been to, a new town, i'll have to get my drivers permit in a town that i'v never been to before, my animals are going to have to get used to having a yard instead of being able to run around on our 11 acres, my cat will have to stay inside because i'm paranoid about her running away since we'll be in a new place, they'll all have to get used to another dog and another cat.
it's just becoming more and more stressful every day.
for the last 2 nights i'v just turned off my lights and laid on the floor and cried (i laid on the floor cause it's extremely hot because we have no AC) until i was to exhausted to cry anymore
anyway...it just sucks...
i'v been trying to take a bath every night and do yoga in the mornings to try to calm my mind at least a little bit, but it doesnt feel like it's doing a whole lot :/
i just needed to get this out, and maybe someone will have some advice for me