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Author Topic: What should a spouse do if her husband panics?  (Read 361 times)

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Offline cookie1988

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What should a spouse do if her husband panics?
« on: June 18, 2014, 05:30:38 AM »
My husband struggles with crowds and noises (and with a few rarer things such as roadside construction). Apart from that he is a bit of a macho. When he is frightened I do not know what to do, he actually does not like me noticing it.
When I try to talk about it he stonewalls.

He has been discussing his fears a bit with me lately when he asked for advice regarding his medication but typically he does not do that.

Lately we have been to a crowded place and my husband panicked, including not being able to stand on his legs anymore and shaking. It rarely happens he panicks that badly. Typically he only wants to leave. I had no idea what to do.

What am I supposed to do when it gets that bad again?

By the way, how can I tell a panic attack from a physical illness? I have heard that a heart attack can have similar symptoms.
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Offline bluerose

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Re: What should a spouse do if her husband panics?
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2014, 03:20:11 AM »
That's good that your husband opened up to you a bit about getting advice on his medication.  Just be supportive and let him know you're there and try not to be judgmental.  As for the bad panic attack he had where he couldn't stand I would get him out of the situation ASAP and get him to somewhere he feels safe.  Sometimes it hard to figure out if someone is having panic or a medical condition.  I know as someone who went to the ER more than once thinking I was having a heart attack, but it was a panic attack.  I would go by what symptoms he's having and whether or not he has risk factors for a heart attack or some other medical problem.  At this point when he gets an attack it sounds like panic.
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Offline Cwhite513

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Re: What should a spouse do if her husband panics?
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2014, 07:07:41 PM »
I agree that getting him out of the situation causing the panic ASAP is the best thing you can do. If he can't stand then help him out. I had a bad one like that where I thought I was going to pass out and my hubby got me out of the right away. I was ok after we had left the situation. You can come up with a signal like a thumbs down sign or something he can do to cue you when he feels a panic attack coming and doesn't want to say it out loud in a crowded place.

I know it's hard to figure out if he's having a panic attack or heart attack or stoke. For peace of mind you can have him get a EKG and get his blood pressure and everything checked out. Make sure that is all a ok so you know it really is panic
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Offline maverickf1

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Re: What should a spouse do if her husband panics?
« Reply #3 on: July 15, 2014, 04:11:26 PM »
Hi, I used to suffer from panic attacks, and unhelpful as it is, there was never a generic way of dealing with it. As a general rule I would hate for my gf to act any different when we were out in public as I would feel as though talking about it or doing anything about it would attract attention (even though that was probably in my head).
In any other situation just go with the flow. Sometimes it helped talking to her, taking the focus away from the panic, other times talking would just be almost an irritation (not just with her but with anyone) and id just want a glass of water and a bit of space to focus on my breathing or other techniques that I found helped.
To be honest though, I would talk to her about the panic attacks at times when I wasnt having them, I think that helped her a bit, and may have been a help to me, its difficult to tell.
It might be a bit difficult to understand, but having panic attacks, as a guy, is a humiliating in a way, so try not to get upset or annoyed if he doesnt want to talk about it (im not saying that you would, but its easy to see why a gf or wife could get upset that their partner doesnt want to talk about something personal like that).
All I can say is that the more the occur the easier they are to deal with, it will get better in time.
Also, if the 1988 part of your alias is your birth year then we are about the same age, dont know if that makes what I am saying a bit more meaningful or not...
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Tags: crowds noises spouses 

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