Chat Now!   Member Gallery    Member Articles    Games   Member Groups   Member Blogs   Health News    Bored?

Author Topic: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble  (Read 1252 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline kcg13

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 608
  • Country: us
  • Rec's: 6
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Thoughtful
    Thoughtful
  • My mind ... both a blessing AND a curse ...
    • Poke This Member
Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #30 on: September 02, 2014, 10:32:37 PM »
some of the things I had to do to get better.  Hard as HELL at times.  I call them truths I had to face.   I know some people may not agree or think that I am being simplistic or think "well my anxiety had to be worse than sixpack's",  sixpack doesn't get it or any number of other things.  People can think it  :winking0008:  All I know is I have had periods in my life in which I was a mess and if you asked my husband, you'd get an earful.   :yes:  AND what I did helped me.




1. Who cares if "I can't help it?"  what the hell good is going to do me if I fall back on that tired old excuse?  So what if I can't help seeking reassurance? So what if I can't stop myself from googling?  So what if all I do all day is take my BP or looking my eyes in the mirror or do that ridiculous hopping on one foot or  what ever self-test that captured my attention at the moment.  So what  if I continue running to the doctors and finding some way to invalidate what the doc says or allow myself to read some insane thing into how the doctor stood or sighed or said a word or put an accent on a word during the office visit? So what?  Well this is WHAT.............   I finally learned that if I continued with the garbage above it would be my own damned fault if I didn't get better.

2. I had to quit acting like I was doing everything I could to get better when I knew, being honest with myself, I wasn't...  Oh I may have been halfway trying some proactive things (maybe just enough to show family that I was making an effort) but often I was doing all the stupid reactive things.


3. I had to take responsibility for my actions---thoughts, behaviors... 


4. I had to take responsibility for fixing myself and not expect my hubs or mom or sister or kids or whoever, to be the one doing the heavy lifting.

5. I had to learn who I was. I had to recognize how I choose to see things, react to things can be changed or modified.

6. I had to NOT let anxiety define me.

7. I had to accept that anxiety is not a JUST.  it has BIG implications.  It isn't innocuous.  It steals joy.  It ruins relationships.  It ruins financial well-being.  it hurts a body physically.

8.  I had to learn that I will never be stress free but I can learn to deal with it better.

9  I quit looking at "other" people with envy.  IE  I wish I had their life. I wish I were normal like them.  I wish I were carefree and happy like them.  Truth is everybody has their own struggles and trials in life.  I learned everybody has things that are worrisome to them.  I learned looking at others' lives like they were carefree was just a lie I told myself.

10.  I learned that anxiety lies.

11.  I learned that anxiety affects a body physically as well as mentally.

12.  I quit looking for a cure.  Actually I'm not really sure I ever thought there was one....

13.  I quit expecting my family/friends/society to understand how hard it was to have anxiety.  I took the view that it was me that had the issue and that I should be looking at how my family looked at me wishing for me to understand my thinking was wrong.

14.  I had to quit (okay this is a HARD one and am still guilty once in a while) monitoring how I felt.  Monitoring KEEPS the mind anxious.

15.  I quit seeking endless reassurance.  If I see some doo-dad that looks weird, I am allowed to ask hubs/friend ONE time.  I have to trust that my family and friends love me and want me around a long time.  so they will advise me if said 'doo-dad' is worrisome.

16. I QUIT all the damned "peace of mind" doctor visits and medical tests.  It is a crock of poo to think that MRI/colonosocpy/blood test/EKG is going to solve my fears at ALL or short even term.  "Peace of Mind"  doc visits  DO NOT work.  What happens is one doubts the test--read wrong, done too early--- OR one believes the test but  a day later, a week later, a year, later some new illness or symptom will pop up not covered by the latest round of test and here one is again mired in the muck.   

17 I had to learn it wasn't someone else's job to talk me down.  I had to learn to self soothe.

18.I had to stop the self-testing.  the checking of reflexes, hopping on one foot, checking the pulse.....  all of that just keeps the mind/body on high alert. 


the reactive behaviors  I have found MOST detrimental to calming the mind/body.  Those behaviors that keep things amped up, even if it helps for a minute or hour or day or two are:seeking reassurance, self tests, monitoring how the body is feeling, googling, ''peace of mind medical tests/doc appointments .  When we engage in these behaviors, we diminish any of the proactive or more positive steps, ie.  meditation, exercises, therapy, helpful distractions (things you do that you love), eating healthy, positive affirmations..."


Good luck and be well
 


I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!   :happy0151:
Bookmark and Share
Our thoughts dictate our emotions .... in other words, how you think is what you will feel.

Offline sixpack

  • no illogical conclusions please
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16405
  • Country: us
  • Rec's: 214
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Thoughtful
    Thoughtful
  • anxiety lies, don't listen
    • Poke This Member
Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #31 on: September 03, 2014, 09:20:26 AM »
I am glad it was helpful kcg   ;D


yeah I finally got tired of being a victim to fear.  Oh fear has its place.  but it should never be given full reign to run and ruin lives. 
Bookmark and Share
MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline rh749747

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 9
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Male
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #32 on: September 03, 2014, 10:37:45 AM »
I read this last night and was motivated and knew what I had to do to move on. Then the resting thoughts occurred followed by the morning fears and it was game over. The things you post make so much sense...they're so simple yet I crumble and worry to the point my gf can't take it anymore.
Bookmark and Share

Offline sixpack

  • no illogical conclusions please
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16405
  • Country: us
  • Rec's: 214
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Thoughtful
    Thoughtful
  • anxiety lies, don't listen
    • Poke This Member
Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #33 on: September 03, 2014, 11:29:14 AM »
I read this last night and was motivated and knew what I had to do to move on. Then the resting thoughts occurred followed by the morning fears and it was game over. The things you post make so much sense...they're so simple yet I crumble and worry to the point my gf can't take it anymore.


diets seem simple too----- eat healthy, cut out the junk food and exercise.    but we all know that isn't simple or easy. 

I didn't get better over night.  I struggled.  I would make some progress  then hit a snag.  but I kept at it.  I found things that work for me. 

rh-- just like dieting, getting mentally healthy is a long term project.   :yes:
Bookmark and Share
MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline kcg13

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 608
  • Country: us
  • Rec's: 6
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Thoughtful
    Thoughtful
  • My mind ... both a blessing AND a curse ...
    • Poke This Member
Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #34 on: September 03, 2014, 01:04:10 PM »
Yes - sixpack is right about that - and like the diet thing, you can't stop working at the anxiety if you are not feeling anxious, just like if you stop dieting after losing 5 pounds and you start eating like you use to, you gain it all back.  Gotta keep being proactive!
Bookmark and Share
Our thoughts dictate our emotions .... in other words, how you think is what you will feel.

Offline sixpack

  • no illogical conclusions please
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16405
  • Country: us
  • Rec's: 214
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Thoughtful
    Thoughtful
  • anxiety lies, don't listen
    • Poke This Member
Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #35 on: September 03, 2014, 02:37:29 PM »
Sage words of wisdom from Sixpack, as always.  Thank you so much for the thought and time and care that you put into your posts on this site.  I hope you realize how much I and other members/visitors appreciate your words.

I am glad my rambles help people.  that is always my goal when I post.  I KNOW I can be direct at times,  :-* , but in the end I think the more direct route is ultimately more helpful than "reassurance" posts ever will be.    :yes:
Bookmark and Share
MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Tags:
 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
1 Replies
488 Views
Last post October 26, 2009, 06:04:20 AM
by AnxiousMatt
5 Replies
482 Views
Last post June 26, 2011, 09:21:46 AM
by Sandra01
4 Replies
406 Views
Last post August 06, 2011, 12:09:49 PM
by noseeum
27 Replies
1407 Views
Last post January 08, 2012, 01:07:12 PM
by Amberjake12
5 Replies
469 Views
Last post May 22, 2012, 07:58:20 AM
by sixpack

anything