some of the things I had to do to get better. Hard as HELL at times. I call them truths I had to face. I know some people may not agree or think that I am being simplistic or think "well my anxiety had to be worse than sixpack's", sixpack doesn't get it or any number of other things. People can think it
All I know is I have had periods in my life in which I was a mess and if you asked my husband, you'd get an earful.
AND what I did helped me.
1. Who cares if "I can't help it?" what the hell good is going to do me if I fall back on that tired old excuse? So what if I can't help seeking reassurance? So what if I can't stop myself from googling? So what if all I do all day is take my BP or looking my eyes in the mirror or do that ridiculous hopping on one foot or what ever self-test that captured my attention at the moment. So what if I continue running to the doctors and finding some way to invalidate what the doc says or allow myself to read some insane thing into how the doctor stood or sighed or said a word or put an accent on a word during the office visit? So what? Well this is WHAT............. I finally learned that if I continued with the garbage above it would be my own damned fault if I didn't get better.
2. I had to quit acting like I was doing everything I could to get better when I knew, being honest with myself, I wasn't... Oh I may have been halfway trying some proactive things (maybe just enough to show family that I was making an effort) but often I was doing all the stupid reactive things.
3. I had to take responsibility for my actions---thoughts, behaviors...
4. I had to take responsibility for fixing myself and not expect my hubs or mom or sister or kids or whoever, to be the one doing the heavy lifting.
5. I had to learn who I was. I had to recognize how I choose to see things, react to things can be changed or modified.
6. I had to NOT let anxiety define me.
7. I had to accept that anxiety is not a JUST. it has BIG implications. It isn't innocuous. It steals joy. It ruins relationships. It ruins financial well-being. it hurts a body physically.
8. I had to learn that I will never be stress free but I can learn to deal with it better.
9 I quit looking at "other" people with envy. IE I wish I had their life. I wish I were normal like them. I wish I were carefree and happy like them. Truth is everybody has their own struggles and trials in life. I learned everybody has things that are worrisome to them. I learned looking at others' lives like they were carefree was just a lie I told myself.
10. I learned that anxiety lies.
11. I learned that anxiety affects a body physically as well as mentally.
12. I quit looking for a cure. Actually I'm not really sure I ever thought there was one....
13. I quit expecting my family/friends/society to understand how hard it was to have anxiety. I took the view that it was me that had the issue and that I should be looking at how my family looked at me wishing for me to understand my thinking was wrong.
14. I had to quit (okay this is a HARD one and am still guilty once in a while) monitoring how I felt. Monitoring KEEPS the mind anxious.
15. I quit seeking endless reassurance. If I see some doo-dad that looks weird, I am allowed to ask hubs/friend ONE time. I have to trust that my family and friends love me and want me around a long time. so they will advise me if said 'doo-dad' is worrisome.
16. I QUIT all the damned "peace of mind" doctor visits and medical tests. It is a crock of poo to think that MRI/colonosocpy/blood test/EKG is going to solve my fears at ALL or short even term. "Peace of Mind" doc visits DO NOT work. What happens is one doubts the test--read wrong, done too early--- OR one believes the test but a day later, a week later, a year, later some new illness or symptom will pop up not covered by the latest round of test and here one is again mired in the muck.
17 I had to learn it wasn't someone else's job to talk me down. I had to learn to self soothe.
18.I had to stop the self-testing. the checking of reflexes, hopping on one foot, checking the pulse..... all of that just keeps the mind/body on high alert.
the reactive behaviors I have found MOST detrimental to calming the mind/body. Those behaviors that keep things amped up, even if it helps for a minute or hour or day or two are:seeking reassurance, self tests, monitoring how the body is feeling, googling, ''peace of mind medical tests/doc appointments
. When we engage in these behaviors, we diminish any of the proactive or more positive steps, ie. meditation, exercises, therapy, helpful distractions (things you do that you love), eating healthy, positive affirmations..."
Good luck and be well