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Author Topic: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble  (Read 1123 times)

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Offline sixpack

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Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #15 on: June 18, 2014, 07:40:59 AM »
You think it's bad accepting physical symptoms, wait until you try explaining to others, without anxiety, the same concept.

I could literally kill my roommate right now. He believes it's all a ploy to be lazy




I know many people with anxiety disorders (especially those with anxiety that severely hampers life) often talk about how those without anxiety don't get it.  Many talk about wishing they would get it.   I remember feeling that way back in the day.  Certainly calling someone lazy is uncalled for. However having been on both sides I have a bit of a different view about the whole explaining anxiety to others.    I think it is an utter waste of time wishing/hoping to adequately explain the anxious over thinking disorder to one without the thinking disorder.  Only way a non-anxious person would truly 'get it' would be to have the disorder him/herself.  AND what good is that?  How does that help an anxious person?  I see it more like this now:

and I am sure my view is going to ruffle some feathers around here.  but here goes....
 
those with runaway anxiety are the ones who ultimately need to 'get' it.  We are the ones that our thinking  :dazed: .  Some of our actions make it worse--ie, self testing, googling, seeking endless reassurance via family friends, having 'peace of mind' medical testing....  Our thinking is being filtered through an anxious brain.  The more frustrating position to be in is the un-anxious family/friends seeing us flounder, be unhappy and scared and then be completely unable to make us understand.  Now THAT is frightening and sad and disheartening.  Let's face it--we are the ones with issue.  we are the ones who need to fix it.

I am in no way saying family and friends should be nasty to us.  I think they should be supportive in a way that doesn't just enable us.  We, absolutely,  don't need people to 'get it' so very well that they help keep us at the bottom of the pit.   

                                       
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Online TyeDyedButterfly

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Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #16 on: June 18, 2014, 07:53:03 AM »
I so agree and all we do is wear ourselves out mentally and physically by getting upset with them because they don't get and probably never will unless like you said they go through something similar but I have friends and family who say they have IT but still don't get it because not everyone has the same thing going on so it can be very agitating but really what can you do NOTHING after you have already told them a million times so what I do is just walk away or stay away from those people because all they do is make me feel worse and there is really no sense on going over and over my issues they can not fix me only I can help myself!

I will have to say living with people is a whole new ballgame you do have put up a wall with those people and learn to ignore and stop explaining and work on yourself. I am Lucky I don't have someone living in my home that nags me about my issues and I don't go and on to my Husband all the time because he is used to me and he does help talk me down but as he says Honey I don't totally understand but I am here for you and doing my best and he really has been for the most part.

Thanks for the post !
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Offline sixpack

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Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #17 on: June 18, 2014, 12:01:10 PM »
I so agree and all we do is wear ourselves out mentally and physically by getting upset with them because they don't get and probably never will unless like you said they go through something similar but I have friends and family who say they have IT but still don't get it because not everyone has the same thing going on so it can be very agitating but really what can you do NOTHING after you have already told them a million times so what I do is just walk away or stay away from those people because all they do is make me feel worse and there is really no sense on going over and over my issues they can not fix me only I can help myself!

I will have to say living with people is a whole new ballgame you do have put up a wall with those people and learn to ignore and stop explaining and work on yourself. I am Lucky I don't have someone living in my home that nags me about my issues and I don't go and on to my Husband all the time because he is used to me and he does help talk me down but as he says Honey I don't totally understand but I am here for you and doing my best and he really has been for the most part.

Thanks for the post !

glad you have hubs that is supportive of you AND acknowledging your feelings without giving up his own   :happy0151:   
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline kcg13

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Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #18 on: June 18, 2014, 01:00:53 PM »
Good to see you back, sixpack.  Hoping all is well with you!

I am well.  How are you doing.   :happy0151:


I am good - thanks for asking.  Handling the anxiety better than I have before!  (on my healing path!)
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Our thoughts dictate our emotions .... in other words, how you think is what you will feel.

Offline sixpack

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Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #19 on: June 18, 2014, 01:05:52 PM »
Good to see you back, sixpack.  Hoping all is well with you!

I am well.  How are you doing.   :happy0151:


I am good - thanks for asking.  Handling the anxiety better than I have before!  (on my healing path!)


EXCELLENT
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline Caroline1902

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Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #20 on: June 18, 2014, 07:23:13 PM »
I used to drive my husband crazy but I now know there's no point in opening up to him - it definitely makes the whole situation worse.

I feel like I'm driving my doctor crazy too but I really haven't been that much of a nuisance - I really haven't!  But I did tell her I have health anxiety issues so now I feel she looks at me and thinks "Oh boy, not this one again."     

I tried to get in to see this week to see her to discuss the possibility of meds but she told me, via e-mail, she's booked this week and "mental health isn't urgent care." She said I need to book a week in advance and ask for a 30 minute session.  She also told me e-mail is no longer allowed due to the "safety of the patient."  Interesting she only told me this now.

Anyway, I haven't booked an appointment and I'm not sure I will at this present time.  All I felt was embarrassment so my inclination is to ride it out for the time being.  I'm almost 95% certain anxiety is what's causing the numbness in my arm and hand.  I've jumped from one ailment to the other for the last three months.
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Offline sixpack

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Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #21 on: June 18, 2014, 08:00:01 PM »
some of the things I had to do to get better.  Hard as HELL at times.  I call them truths I had to face.   I know some people may not agree or think that I am being simplistic or think "well my anxiety had to be worse than sixpack's",  sixpack doesn't get it or any number of other things.  People can think it  :winking0008:  All I know is I have had periods in my life in which I was a mess and if you asked my husband, you'd get an earful.   :yes:  AND what I did helped me.




1. Who cares if "I can't help it?"  what the hell good is going to do me if I fall back on that tired old excuse?  So what if I can't help seeking reassurance? So what if I can't stop myself from googling?  So what if all I do all day is take my BP or looking my eyes in the mirror or do that ridiculous hopping on one foot or  what ever self-test that captured my attention at the moment.  So what  if I continue running to the doctors and finding some way to invalidate what the doc says or allow myself to read some insane thing into how the doctor stood or sighed or said a word or put an accent on a word during the office visit? So what?  Well this is WHAT.............   I finally learned that if I continued with the garbage above it would be my own damned fault if I didn't get better.

2. I had to quit acting like I was doing everything I could to get better when I knew, being honest with myself, I wasn't...  Oh I may have been halfway trying some proactive things (maybe just enough to show family that I was making an effort) but often I was doing all the stupid reactive things.


3. I had to take responsibility for my actions---thoughts, behaviors... 


4. I had to take responsibility for fixing myself and not expect my hubs or mom or sister or kids or whoever, to be the one doing the heavy lifting.

5. I had to learn who I was. I had to recognize how I choose to see things, react to things can be changed or modified.

6. I had to NOT let anxiety define me.

7. I had to accept that anxiety is not a JUST.  it has BIG implications.  It isn't innocuous.  It steals joy.  It ruins relationships.  It ruins financial well-being.  it hurts a body physically.

8.  I had to learn that I will never be stress free but I can learn to deal with it better.

9  I quit looking at "other" people with envy.  IE  I wish I had their life. I wish I were normal like them.  I wish I were carefree and happy like them.  Truth is everybody has their own struggles and trials in life.  I learned everybody has things that are worrisome to them.  I learned looking at others' lives like they were carefree was just a lie I told myself.

10.  I learned that anxiety lies.

11.  I learned that anxiety affects a body physically as well as mentally.

12.  I quit looking for a cure.  Actually I'm not really sure I ever thought there was one....

13.  I quit expecting my family/friends/society to understand how hard it was to have anxiety.  I took the view that it was me that had the issue and that I should be looking at how my family looked at me wishing for me to understand my thinking was wrong.

14.  I had to quit (okay this is a HARD one and am still guilty once in a while) monitoring how I felt.  Monitoring KEEPS the mind anxious.

15.  I quit seeking endless reassurance.  If I see some doo-dad that looks weird, I am allowed to ask hubs/friend ONE time.  I have to trust that my family and friends love me and want me around a long time.  so they will advise me if said 'doo-dad' is worrisome.

16. I QUIT all the damned "peace of mind" doctor visits and medical tests.  It is a crock of poo to think that MRI/colonosocpy/blood test/EKG is going to solve my fears at ALL or short even term.  "Peace of Mind"  doc visits  DO NOT work.  What happens is one doubts the test--read wrong, done too early--- OR one believes the test but  a day later, a week later, a year, later some new illness or symptom will pop up not covered by the latest round of test and here one is again mired in the muck.   

17 I had to learn it wasn't someone else's job to talk me down.  I had to learn to self soothe.

18.I had to stop the self-testing.  the checking of reflexes, hopping on one foot, checking the pulse.....  all of that just keeps the mind/body on high alert. 


the reactive behaviors  I have found MOST detrimental to calming the mind/body.  Those behaviors that keep things amped up, even if it helps for a minute or hour or day or two are:seeking reassurance, self tests, monitoring how the body is feeling, googling, ''peace of mind medical tests/doc appointments .  When we engage in these behaviors, we diminish any of the proactive or more positive steps, ie.  meditation, exercises, therapy, helpful distractions (things you do that you love), eating healthy, positive affirmations..."


Good luck and be well
 
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline greend

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Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #22 on: June 18, 2014, 08:47:08 PM »
Wow sixpack, your  'what I had to do to get better' post was excellent. I don't think I have ever seen a list this conclusive. Thank you!
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Offline wegngis

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Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #23 on: June 18, 2014, 08:48:51 PM »
Definitely getting another from me!
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MOST anxiety happens at the subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state.  - AnxietyZone member Sixpack

Offline Caroline1902

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Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #24 on: June 18, 2014, 09:07:54 PM »
Another thumbs up from me too! 
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Offline sixpack

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Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #25 on: July 16, 2014, 03:11:04 PM »
Definitely getting another from me!

 ;D

Quote
Another thumbs up from me too! 

 :angel-smiley-006:

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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Online TyeDyedButterfly

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Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #26 on: July 16, 2014, 03:25:58 PM »
yes once again awesome post and all so true and when we learn to accept things and do everything we can that is when the healing begins in the mind and in the body!

We can talk until we are blue in the face to ourselves and to others but actions speak louder then words so if we don't get up and fight then all we will do is lay down and keeping feeling like we have .
I believe sixpack has this down to the "T" !

Sixpack ever think of writing your own book or make some dvd's or cd's I would buy !!

Thank you!
TyeddyedButterfly  :happy0151:
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PEACE, LOVE AND HAPPINESS !

Offline sixpack

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Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #27 on: September 02, 2014, 05:09:01 PM »
yes once again awesome post and all so true and when we learn to accept things and do everything we can that is when the healing begins in the mind and in the body!

We can talk until we are blue in the face to ourselves and to others but actions speak louder then words so if we don't get up and fight then all we will do is lay down and keeping feeling like we have .
I believe sixpack has this down to the "T" !

Sixpack ever think of writing your own book or make some dvd's or cd's I would buy !!

Thank you!
TyeddyedButterfly  :happy0151:


didn't see this post,  hehehe


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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Online ColdHands

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Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #28 on: September 02, 2014, 05:23:38 PM »
Hello SixPack!

Thanks for posting that!
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"There is just one more thing that bothers me."  Columbo

Offline atleswoolf

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Re: How does anxiety do this---a sixpack ramble
« Reply #29 on: September 02, 2014, 10:14:36 PM »
Sage words of wisdom from Sixpack, as always.  Thank you so much for the thought and time and care that you put into your posts on this site.  I hope you realize how much I and other members/visitors appreciate your words.
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I meant to write about death, only life came breaking in as usual.  -- Virginia Woolf, Diary, 17 February 1922.

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