I can understand where you are coming from. When I was a senior in high school, my mom had breast cancer. I felt like I needed to support her, not in the same way you felt, but I ended up giving up some stuff my senior year that I really wanted to do in order to help take care of her. I can see where your co-worker has triggered some stuff - I am sure I would feel the same way. I actually think it is kind of you to help relieve his workload while he is at the hospital - as long as it is not to the point that it is driving you crazy and you are not neglecting yourself or your family. You don't have to be perfect and have everything perfect, but being helpful and stepping up isn't necessarily a bad thing. I don't have specific advice for you except that you don't have to be a perfectionist in this situation. Give yourself the grace to just be helpful - not perfect. it is not your job to completely fill his job, but if you can help, then that is always appreciated - but not helping to the point of killing yourself. It is about letting things go with this co-worker. Maybe some positive self talk might help - one of my favorites I use on myself is "all I can do, is what I can do" (at the moment). You can only do so much, and that's ok. Be helpful, but take care of yourself - you will make it to the next appt where you can get the professional advice!