Hello again all,
Just wanted to see if anybody has a similar "family" situation to mine, and if you have any helpful suggestions.
I currently live on my own (which is such a helpful thing for me right now, the peace and quiet), but before that I lived in the same large apartment with my younger sister and mother. Parents have been divorced since I was 11-12 years old, they never once got along and no I do not speak to my "father" at all. My "mother" is an icebox, or at least I have always perceived her that way to me, basically just giving me a place to live and some slight financial support when I was going through high school and nothing more. We've never had a heartfelt conversation, I've never felt comfortable or accepted around her, and she seems to clearly have a better relationship with my sister who's more similar to her than I am.
I've always felt like the "black sheep" of our extremely dysfunctional family. Only relatives are on dad's side, who I maybe remember getting alone with 1 or 2 of them back when I was forced to go to toxic family dinners when I was younger. I never fit in with anyone, or felt comfortable around any of them, including my parents. I can't honestly remember hearing any words of support, love or anything similar growing up. I basically took care of myself.
Most recently my mother is battling cancer. She's had multiple surgeries, treatments, and long hospital visits, which have turned her into an even more venomous and selfish person. She was diagnosed a little over a year and a half ago and I moved out of "her" apartment before her drama and toxic personality killed me. I slowly grew to hate her, and avoid her at all costs. And now that I'm living on my own she wants to "chat" with me again, something we never did when I was living in her place.
She's tried calling me, which I ignore, and e-mailing me, which I've only once responded to tell her to leave me alone. I've had multiple deeply depressive moods before I was on medication for days after she started harassing me. Now that I'm dealing with a mood disorder, and trying to find a way out of my toxic workplace, dealing with her is the last thing I want to do.