I'm curious if anyone else has experienced this before. my situation: I had a few brief but intense depressive episodes (fully remitted thankfully) and a persistent GAD which I suspect and accept will be with me for a long to come!
A very stressful demoralizing work environment played a strong role in development of my anxiety and depression. CBT has been an excellent tool for the anxiety but I needed a different approach to combat the depression . my psychiatrist introduced me to elements of ACT and this really resonated with me. I am going to be starting a new job in July (still as a family practice physician assistant) and with the help of ACT and my struggles, I have really re-embraced medicine as the calling I was born to. I am very interested in expanding my treatment of "the whole person" something that is already a strength of mine. but now i'm formalizing it more, embracing the bio-psycho-social model of health, learning about therapeutic techniques for my patients, integrative medicine, etc. Making MENTAL WELLNESS a priority, not just physical wellness....sub diagnostic mental/emotional maladies are so very rampant and I want to buiid a loaning library for patients with self help books: stress reduction, CBT, mindfullness for chronic pain and the like.
The problem? While it is very exciting to be reigniting my career ambitions this way, it has actually become an obsession. a sometimes less than productive obsession because my ideas and goals for practice are so many it's hard to hone in and make significant headway on any one idea. I've in three weeks bought five medical textbooks: CBT strategies in primary care, and textbooks on integrative medicine for cardiology, rheumatology, pediatrics and psychiatry. Not to mention a "wellness workbook" to jump start my lending library.
I didn't go to sleep the other night. At all. I literally spent the entire night researching. But again, not focused research where I'm making headway, I was on amazon for hours, literally bookmarking possible textbooks or self help books for possible future purchase. Dozens of books, maybe 100 really. And I'm strongly considering going back to further my education eventually, maybe a doctorate in health psychology. And I'm researching programs even though this won't be an option for YEARS.
Anyway, so something that was initially so vitalizing for me is now itself an anxiety induced obsession. Anyone else experience a similar problem? I'll definitely bring i up to my psychiatrist next week. and I think I have a few strategies to manage it.......just annoying how when the anxiety finally settles down it reappears in new form!