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Author Topic: Watching my life go by  (Read 655 times)

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Offline Kai08

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Watching my life go by
« on: June 13, 2014, 05:24:43 AM »
I do not what happened to me, or when I became so afraid of everyone and everything, but I know it has to stop. I rarely leave my apt, & if I do it's just to grocery shop in the middle of the night for my boyfriend and I. Without those trips once a week, Id never see outside, & even those trips are hard for me. Ive lost over 2 years of my life hiding away in my apartment. Its crazy because I want so badly to leave, but the anxiety is uncontrollable and the fear seems to be taking over my life. Im my own prisoner and I dont know what to do. 
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Offline madmexican808

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Re: Watching my life go by
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2014, 09:05:16 PM »
Well lets explore the past, anything as a young kid that caused a huge scare to you?
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Online Never-Quit

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Re: Watching my life go by
« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2014, 01:06:24 AM »
Hi Kai  :action-smiley-065:

You have come to the right place for help and people to share your experience with...

It sounds like you may have GAD, Anxiety, agoraphobia, and perhaps some type of  Panic Disorder, I myself, have been where you are now. 

This is a terrible feeling that is not easily explained or understood by  people who have never had it themselves.  :(

I lost close to 15 years of my life, back in the early 1980's - luckily today, we have many wonderful resources and help to get you back to normal and avoid losing any more years!  :yes:

We have many great people here at the forum the understand what you are going through, and are very supportive.

This site has many helpful resources , and of course many wonderful people here.  :happy0151:

Welcome, we are glad to have you :yes:


Make sure to Ask a lot of questions !!

 :action-smiley-065:
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Never, never, never give up. -Winston Churchill

“You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you."   ~ John Wooden

Offline Audreyisblue

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Re: Watching my life go by
« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2014, 12:07:10 AM »
Hi,

i know what you mean, when im not working or going to class, i just stay inside. I have some friends that knows that i dont go out easily so im thankfull to still have friends. But im at the point where i dont accept any invitations ...ever. I dont want to deal with the outside even if its to see my friends.


and i have no idea how to deal with myself.  :(
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Offline Smile161

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Re: Watching my life go by
« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2014, 07:03:11 PM »
I'm with you  :action-smiley-065:

I missed out on my 20's. I'm only 32 now, but come on, your 20's are supposed to be about fun, parties, dating, finding yourself, travel, friends...I didn't get any of that. Sure I was invited to a lot, but my anxiety always had me making up excuses why I couldn't go. Now that I'm 32, married with a young daughter we never leave the house (it doesn't help that I don't have a car when my husband is at work) I have to force myself to go shopping by myself on Saturday mornings just to get out alone. It's tough and it does suck, but it's what I have now. I don't even like going outside!
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Watching my life go by
« Reply #5 on: June 21, 2014, 08:10:26 AM »
Don't know how old your daughter is, but for her sake you want to try and get out perhaps for a walk, to the park, maybe the library, maybe a play group in the neighborhood.

If you are content on your own she can learn that too, though in school socialization is necessary.
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Offline Kavenchols

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Re: Watching my life go by
« Reply #6 on: July 01, 2014, 01:44:26 AM »
I agree, also if you want an online friend to chat to I'm happy to be one of yours :)
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Offline CarlyGirl

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Re: Watching my life go by
« Reply #7 on: August 04, 2014, 10:30:27 PM »
Hi Kai,

I SO relate to your posts. I rarely leave my apartment unless I absolutely have to. My home is my safe place and whenever I'm out I cannot wait to get back home. I spend my life in bed watching TV, Netflix, Hulu, etc . as well as reading at least 4 books a week. When I was in therapy I was told it was PTSD as a result of being assaulted, but I also have extreme social anxiety. I'm making an effort to change - I've been this way since 2007 - and I know it's baby steps. Maybe we can help each other by doing small things outside the home and then posting about the experience. I know it will be hard at first but I have faith that will get easier. I want to have female friends and right now my only friend is my husband and people on ***** which is so co-dependent and unhealthy mentally.

Good luck and keep in touch.  :action-smiley-065:

Carly
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