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Author Topic: Anxiety has controlled my life  (Read 327 times)

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Offline omendog

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Anxiety has controlled my life
« on: June 12, 2014, 05:39:02 AM »
I remember it, like it was yesterday.April 3, 1982 at 7:05 pm, my whole life changed.I was workin and goin to college, had a normal life. That Saturday I spent the whole day with my girlfriend, we were together since 6th grade. I left her house at 6pm to catch the train home, I stopped at the A&P store, while i was on line, this panic feelin came over me, I ran out of the store, back to her house and called my father. We got home, i layed on the couch, I was in full panic, and didn't know why. As the days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, I lost my job, quit school, and lost my girlfriend. I couldn't tell her what was happenin, how could i explain somethin that I didn't even understand. I just knew, I didn't want to leave the house, I felt safe. Some time had gone by, and my parents were leavin, now I was freaked out. I asked this girl I knew, if she would marry me, all so I wouldn't be alone, and she did. That lasted a year, I got in contact with my true love, my ex-girlfriend, and explain everythin to her. We have been together ever since, had 2 kids. I missed out on an entire life, I have been imprisoned within myself. I do not drive, in fear of being pulled over and arrested. I am always worried, and scared somethin is goin to happened. I had a TIA in 2006 and signed myself out of the hospital, i could not stay there, i feel safe at home. I live on soup, in fear of chokin on food. I feel most peaceful at night time, it feels safe. After livin this way for 32 years, I feel there is no hope of ever havin a normal life again. I drive myself crazy, tryin to figure out what happened to me that day.
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Offline Julie A. Cook

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Re: Anxiety has controlled my life
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2014, 08:11:41 AM »
You poor man.  Are you seeing a theapist and are you on medicaion?  THis is essential.  I ufferfrom anxiety too, all my life, but there have been good periods.  THis is a tough disease, but you can't get well alone.  You need therapy and help.  And you have to get outof the house.

Good luck toyou,

Julie
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Offline Rob783

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Re: Anxiety has controlled my life
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2014, 12:18:46 PM »
Julie's right... finding a good therapist and the right medication can help you.  You look at your anxiety as a mountain and think climbing it as impossible, so you take little steps till you get to the top.  If you hate being outside try staying out for a few minutes at a time.  If your afraid to drive, try doing circles in a empty parking lot.  If you only eat soup because its soft try soft foods like mac'cheese or cut up hotdogs.
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Offline nathanjh

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Re: Anxiety has controlled my life
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2014, 12:29:30 PM »
There is hope you just need to be strong like everyone here is saying take little steps and you will eventually get a handle on it. A theripist can work wonders I'm going to try that soon and being open about it can mean the world your in control not anxiety
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Online Never-Quit

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Re: Anxiety has controlled my life
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2014, 06:11:06 PM »
I remember it, like it was yesterday.April 3, 1982 at 7:05 pm, my whole life changed.I was workin and goin to college, had a normal life. That Saturday I spent the whole day with my girlfriend, we were together since 6th grade. I left her house at 6pm to catch the train home, I stopped at the A&P store, while i was on line, this panic feelin came over me, I ran out of the store, back to her house and called my father. We got home, i layed on the couch, I was in full panic, and didn't know why. As the days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, I lost my job, quit school, and lost my girlfriend. I couldn't tell her what was happenin, how could i explain somethin that I didn't even understand. I just knew, I didn't want to leave the house, I felt safe. Some time had gone by, and my parents were leavin, now I was freaked out. I asked this girl I knew, if she would marry me, all so I wouldn't be alone, and she did. That lasted a year, I got in contact with my true love, my ex-girlfriend, and explain everythin to her. We have been together ever since, had 2 kids. I missed out on an entire life, I have been imprisoned within myself. I do not drive, in fear of being pulled over and arrested. I am always worried, and scared somethin is goin to happened. I had a TIA in 2006 and signed myself out of the hospital, i could not stay there, i feel safe at home. I live on soup, in fear of chokin on food. I feel most peaceful at night time, it feels safe. After livin this way for 32 years, I feel there is no hope of ever havin a normal life again. I drive myself crazy, tryin to figure out what happened to me that day.

Hi Omendog,

The Good news... - you have all the symptoms that qualify you as having had a Panic Attack Disorder (and might still have) - I too, can remember the exact day, time, and how it came out of nowhere - Running out of the store, feeling of dread, NO FEAR I HAD COULD EVEN come close to the DREAD and TERROR LEVEL of that First Panic Attacks :sick0002:.

Mayo Clinic: A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause. Panic attacks can be very frightening. When panic attacks occur, you might think you're losing control, having a heart attack or even dying.

Having first hand experience of TERROR Attack - I yet to experience any fears that were as strong as my first years of Panic Attacks- I can really relate with your situation.

You have come to the right place, we have great people that gone through years of what you are experiencing - and we have a lot of empathy for your situation.

This site has many helpful resources on you can educate yourself on, and of course many people here. :action-smiley-065:

My advice, having been where you are now, and having 15 years of my life taken away from me....  I am now a grandfather in my 50's - My Advice, if you really are ready to handle this Demon, and be done with it:  :grinning-smiley-003:

1) Stay Strong, - Educate yourself as much as possible, and TAKE ACTION:  Only you have the power to change your life.

2)  Get an appointment with your Doctor to rule out any Physical Problems that can mimic Panic and Axiety Disorders - such as Angina and myocardial infarction (eg, dyspnea, chest pain, palpitations, diaphoresis) Cardiac dysrhythmias, Mitral valve prolapse, Hyperthyroidism (eg, palpitations, diaphoresis, tachycardia, heat intolerance), Hypoglycemia

3) If you are o.k. physically - get a referral to a PSYCHIATRIST - this is the doctor that can professionally diagnose your condition and prescribe any medications needed (which are very safe, when used properly), and supervise your response to medications.   

Please ask questions, we have many knowledge people here that really care! :action-smiley-065:
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Never, never, never give up. -Winston Churchill

“You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you."   ~ John Wooden

Offline omendog

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Re: Anxiety has controlled my life
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2014, 04:00:43 AM »
thank you so much for your info....is the medication safe, is it mind alterin....i sit and look out my window, and see the world and my life passin me by, I was 20 at the start, and now will be 52....I sometimes go to sleep, and hope when wake up, that this was all a dream.
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Online Never-Quit

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Re: Anxiety has controlled my life
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2014, 02:11:00 PM »
thank you so much for your info....is the medication safe, is it mind alterin....i sit and look out my window, and see the world and my life passin me by, I was 20 at the start, and now will be 52....I sometimes go to sleep, and hope when wake up, that this was all a dream.

I know that feeling, you are 52 and I am 54 years old.  We have lost a lot of time, but we can quickly start to regain some of that time - I am glad I resolved this issue when I was finally 33 years old, and I can tell you, it is a brand new life - My entire life has been entirely changed for the better and I am so happy, and give thanks to God - he made the tools available to "pull me out of my nightmare".

Don't waste in more of your time !!   :speechless-smiley-004: :speechless-smiley-004:
 
In last 20-30 years, medications are now safer than they have ever been, are they mind altering?  No... they actually increase the brain's chemicals back to the levels they should be - it actually boost your brain chemicals to make them work properly.

When used properly, under the care of Psychiatrist - They are extremely safe, and if you don't feel comfortable you can always stop the medications in the future... if you want to....

Don't let FEAR waste any more of your time - I already have friends in our age group that are now gone, we are not 21 anymore  ::)

Stay Strong and take action  :grinning-smiley-003:
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Never, never, never give up. -Winston Churchill

“You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you."   ~ John Wooden

Offline maegan.0314

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Re: Anxiety has controlled my life
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2014, 03:40:04 AM »
Hi Omendog,

I am so sorry to hear this. I empathize with you deeply. I understand how you feel. You are not alone. These people have given to some great advice, so I will keep mine short. But you CAN have a life. Yours is not over yet. There are SO many medications that can help you. And yes, they are safe. One my my greatest fears is taking anything that will alter my mind. I am currently on a terrific medication regimen and I promise you, it is safe. Get with a good doctor. Get with a good counselor. Get your life back. This is a manageable disorder. You can do it. You will be in my thoughts. :wavey:
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Just breathe.

Offline Kavenchols

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Re: Anxiety has controlled my life
« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2014, 03:29:29 AM »
You totally have the skills to feel better, and are probably already using them, but anxiety is undermining them and making them invisible. Notice them, they will be more accessible to you. You can handle it. You always survive through it and eventually calm again.
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