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Author Topic: Does your spouse understand your anxiety?  (Read 203 times)

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Offline Prezwilson15

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Does your spouse understand your anxiety?
« on: June 11, 2014, 09:25:29 PM »
I've been battling my anxiety again and have been really frustrated with my husband.  He doesn't understand or even try to.  He just takes the "get over it and move on" sort of attitude.  His personality is very different - not much bothers him.  We're really at both ends of the spectrum.

Is it possible for him to understand?  How can I explain it to him? 

The worst part is he only probably sees about 10% of the anxiety I have.  He has no idea of the depth of it.  And so when I have bouts where I battle like I have the last month, he doesn't get how bad it is.

Thoughts?  Advice?

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Offline Katlyn87

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Re: Does your spouse understand your anxiety?
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2014, 06:33:49 AM »
My husband has a lot of trouble understanding my anxiety. We started seeing a therapist together, which has helped a little with how I communicate my fears and worries and how he responds when I have serious bouts. It isn't easy!
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Offline Smile161

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Re: Does your spouse understand your anxiety?
« Reply #2 on: June 17, 2014, 12:20:22 AM »
My husband doesn't understand my anxiety at all. He used to try and be supportive, but in the last year or so he hasn't been as understanding. I almost feel like he isn't even listening to me anymore because of it.

I think couples therapy is an awesome idea, if he is the type to consider that (and if he has that "get over it" mentality, it sounds like he might not be the type?). I wish I had better/more advice, but I'm practically in the same boat, we just don't have the insurance or money to go to couples therapy. That's why I joined this site, I needed an outlet and someone to talk to about it that would understand. I know it makes me feel crazy when I hear myself say some of the things I feel, I can't imagine how it makes them feel not knowing what to say or do to help.
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Offline e77

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Re: Does your spouse understand your anxiety?
« Reply #3 on: June 17, 2014, 01:37:47 PM »
I keep educating my wife whenever it comes up about anxiety/panic, emphasizing the medical/physical aspects of the condition.  Hard for spouse to relate to when it isn't obvious to her so I fill her in on what's happening to me.
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Offline abigailb

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Re: Does your spouse understand your anxiety?
« Reply #4 on: June 17, 2014, 03:51:37 PM »
At first, my husband wasn't understanding, because he doesn't like the idea of taking medications and such. He also had the "just get over it" mentality. I think it's just because he didn't 'get' anxiety or what it does. I've been very open with my experience with my psychiatrist, therapist, medications, etc. I tried to hide my for a really long time because I felt bad about it and so my husband never really saw it. I find that it's important to share how you are feeling with your spouse and let them into your world. They won't understand until they know the extent of it and how it affects you.

After that, if your spouse is still not supportive, I would be concerned, because it will be harder for you to feel better without that support system!

As for how to tell him, just be frank. Describe your physical/mental symptoms and let him know when they come up. I'm sure he will want to help you in any way he can. :)
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