Rather than add to the long pristiq thread I started earlier, I wanted to say that I have been doing much better in general since I last wrote, but the last couple of days have unnerved me. Started when I was in bed, waking up and had a dizzy spell lying down, possibly a flutter in my chest, and felt like I couldn't move till it was over. Tapped my wife and told her what happened, she checked my pulse, it was fine. Nonetheless that started the wheels going, I had a couple of similar experiences in the past few months where I lay down and got a dizzy feeling, flutter, whatever. Once when my eyes were open I thought it looked like the ceiling was moving so I reasoned that must be an ear thing, not heart. This time I didn't open my eyes, but it felt unpleasant, that's for sure and its not something I have a lot of experience with. Now I have not had many of the usual palps that come with anxiety this time around and even without it, the kind that you feel after the fact when you get an extra bit of blood in the next "normal" pump, the one where it feels sort of like something flipped once in your chest. These ones worry me more b/c they seem longer, and only seem to happen if I am laying down or maybe once sitting. So my anxiety ratcheted up yesterday and today, today it was sufficiently bad that I went to the nurse at where I work, she called a bunch of my docs and the urgent care centers for the medical group in the area, naturally no one can see me right away. She did get me an appt with the cardiologist next week so I will hopefully get an answer that puts my mind at ease. I am still taking 50 mg of pristiq, a bit more than half a 15 mg remeron pill, and 1 mg of klonopin in three doses, half at night with the remeron and .25 each on waking and around 4. Also take some fish oil and vit d, for whatever that might be worth. I did take a quarter or a bit less extra klonopin in the morning today and a bit of a 10 mg beta blocker that my pdoc prescribed for when my heart rate is up in the afternoon shortly before seeing the nurse, but when I saw her my pulse was 100 and bp was 150/84. Not horrible, but more than I am used to and I definitely felt uncomfortable. Luckily this time I did not get teary over the anxiety, I slowly calmed down and went home and kind of curled up on the couch letting my thoughts just flow by. Its such a contrast to weeks of low anxiety to the point that I was drinking green tea in the morning just to wake up b/c I was so tired without becoming anxious, and doing a fair amount of stuff on the weekends with my family. I will see my pdoc also on Monday, her last suggestion was to up the remeron slowly and then go off pristiq but I didn't do that b/c I was doing okay and I don't think a high dose of remeron will be any better for my health than the pristiq, and after hearing on this forum so often about the remeron tending to poop out easily I need something that will give me long lasting relief like what I had in years past. Of course there are extenuating circumstances that only add to the stresses, the summer vacation is coming up and I'd rather be working with people around, and a colleague just lost her sister so that brings back bad memories of the losses I have dealt with in the past year and a half. But I know that when I am truly well I have a resilience that gets me thru such things, its seems I've lost that, though if I am honest with myself I have still managed to do a lot on my good days and sometimes on my not so good days. I just wish there was something that would make the anxiety just go away quickly when it does act up, I can't will it away and the medicines, unlike before, only seem to go so far this time around. Maybe its a matter of more medicine or time, who knows. But I guess I can take some solace in that there are so many of us going thru this mess, and I just have to focus on the good as best I can.